Even If
by BlueMoonFan
Summary: Castle and Beckett are in an established relationship. Castle is away on a trip when Beckett gets life changing news. News that will change everything between our favorite couple. Set in season 5. Rated T for now. This is my first Castle story.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first Castle fic. It's more of a what if fic. This is set sometime in season 5. It starts of angsty, but I promise that it will have a happy ending.

Castle is off doing a press tour for a new book. While he's gone, Beckett gets some news. News that is exciting for her, but because of recent comments he's made, make her question everything.

Kate Beckett had never been happier in her life. She had everything that she'd ever wanted out of life. She loved her job. She had an incredible man that loved her. Despite all of the twists and turns that their relationship had taken over the years, they'd finally found each other. Despite all the odds, they were finally happy.

Castle had wanted her to come along on his press tour with him. However, they had been extremely busy at the Precinct. So, despite wanting to come along with him, Gates couldn't approve the time off. She'd been disappointed, but Castle had promised to call every night. She'd promised him that she would watch each of his interviews.

He'd been gone for nearly a week when she got some startling news from her doctor. She'd went in for a routine checkup. When she was filling out the pre-exam paperwork, she had to stop and think about when her last menstrual cycle had come. She bit her bottom lip and realized that it had been nearly six weeks. This worried her. She had always been regular before. She always started on the same day. Without fail. She didn't have much time to think about it before the nurse called her back to the exam room.

The nurse was quiet as she checked over her paperwork and entered it into the computer for the doctor. Kate saw her eyebrows arch and she realized that she must have read that it had been six weeks since her last cycle. Because she turned to Kate and said, "Are you sure it's been six weeks?"

Kate nodded, "Positive. You know I'm very regular."

The nurse nodded and reached over to the side and handed her a small plastic cup and said, "I would like to get a urine sample. To rule out anything serious."

Kate stood up and headed into the patient restroom. When she was done, she placed the sample into the little metal box. She heard the door open on the other side. She washed her hands and walked back to the exam room. She sat down and waited for her doctor. She wasn't nervous in the least. There had to be a good reason for her being late. She never dreamed that the answer would change her life forever.

Two hours later she finally walked out of the doctor's office. To say that she was shocked at the news he'd given her would have been a major understatement. She drove home on auto pilot. She wasn't sure how she made it home without getting into at least one accident. She walked up the steps in a daze. She sat down on the couch in the home that she shared with Castle and thought back to what happened at the appointment.

She'd been thinking that she was sick. That she had some kind of infection. She had been waiting for her doctor to write a prescription and she would be all better.

What he had told her had rocked her to her core. He had come into the exam room with a huge smile on his face. He'd asked her a few routine questions. Questions about how she'd been feeling and if she'd felt under the weather. She answered him truthfully when she told him, "I've never felt better. I've been a little more tired than usual, but it's been a busy time at work."

He'd simply nodded and typed something into her records. Kate turned her head to the side and asked, "Is everything okay? Am I sick? Can you give me something to take care of it?"

The doctor laughed and said, "It's nothing that you can take care of with a prescription. You should be back to normal in about eight months or so."

She just looked at him with a blank stare. She didn't understand what he was trying to tell her, "What's wrong with me?"

The doctor had smiled and said, "You're pregnant."

She had sat in the exam room in her doctor's office and felt all of the air leave her lungs. When she was finally able to speak she asked, "I can't be pregnant. I'm on the pill."

"It's not one hundred percent effective. Have you been sick recently? Taken any antibiotics?"

She thought back and remembered that she had been sick. She'd been sick and her doctor had given her antibiotics to take. She whispered, "Yes."

He nodded and said, "Well, antibiotics can cause birth control pills to fail."

She knew that. She had known that for years. Which is why in her past relationships, she'd been religious about using other forms of birth control whenever she'd been sick or taking medicine. However, with Castle, she had never thought about it.

She simply nodded and asked, "Are you sure?"

"I'm fairly certain. The pregnancy test came back positive. However, I want to draw some blood and perform more tests."

She nodded again and swallowed hard. The doctor noticed the look of disbelief on her face and asked, "I take it you weren't planning on becoming pregnant."

Kate laughed harshly and said, "Hardly. I thought I was too old. I..."

Her doctor laughed and said, "I would hardly call you old. You still have plenty of years left to have a baby."

She looked at him funny and he could see that she didn't feel any better. Even with the words of encouragement. He told her, "You can get an abortion. You're early enough along that it's a simple procedure."

Kate looked up at him and felt as if he'd slapped her. Of all the things running through her mind, getting an abortion wasn't one of them. She shook her head and whispered, "I don't think I could do that."

He nodded softly, "There's still plenty of time for you to make that decision. I want to see you back in a month. Sooner if you decide to terminate the pregnancy. I will tell the nurses to come in and draw your blood."

Kate simply nodded and watched him leave the room. She felt as if she were in a tunnel. The rest of the visit she finished on auto pilot.

She was brought out of her thoughts when her phone signaled a text message. She smiled when she saw Castle's face. She read the message and smiled again: _**Don't forget to watch me tonight. I love you. I wish you were here with me.**_

Kate smiled sadly and whispered to the empty loft, "I wish I was there with you also."

God she missed him. There had been a time when she hadn't needed anyone in her life. She had been happy being alone. That was before she'd met and fallen in love with Richard Castle. He'd worked his way into her heart and into her life. Slowly, but surely making her fall in love with him. She'd moved in with him about two months ago. It had been a hard decision for her to make, but she hadn't regretted it. Waking up beside him each morning was wonderful.

She was worried that this baby would come between their new relationship. They hadn't talked about having children. She'd never given it a thought. She had been so ridiculously in love with him that her normally cautious nature had fallen by the wayside. She was like a teenager with her first crush. She was surprised that the others hadn't caught on to their relationship sooner. She was sure that the would have been able to tell because of how she smiled brighter. Maybe they had known. However, none of them said anything. So, she kept quiet.

She put her hand on her still flat stomach and wondered how on earth she was going to tell him that he was going to become a father again. Would he be happy? Or would he be angry at her for the mistake? She didn't know and she wished that he was here so that she could get it over with. She decided that she would just tell him and then they would decide what to do after the fact.

She turned on the tv and turned up the volume. She smiled when his face filled the screen. She was still so much in love with this man. At one time, she had hated him. Thought that he was just a bi kid. Sure, he still acted like it at times, but she realized that was simply part of who he was. It was part of what made her love him even more. He could make her smile even when she wanted to cry. Gave her the strength to go on, when everything else told her to quit. His faith in her was unfaltering. She realized that made her love him that much more.

She turned up the volume in time to hear the host ask his first question. It was about their relationship.

"So, Mister Castle, you have recently started a relationship with your long time partner, Kate Beckett. Our viewers want to know, are there wedding bells in your future?"

Castle simply smiled and said, "We are taking it slowly. It's a new relationship and neither one of us want to rush things. Although I would gladly marry her. I love her with all my heart and soul."

That made Kate smile brightly. However, her smile faltered when the man kept asking questions about their personal life.

The man smiled and fished for more, "Your daughter recently went off to college. You must miss her. Have you ever thought of having more children? You're still quite young."

Castle had what Kate could only describe as a deer in the headlights kind of look. They had never discussed children. She sat up and her face was glued to the tv screen. She swallowed hard and waited for him to answer.

Her heart broke when she heard his reply. Castle smiled at the cameras and said, "I'm honestly content with only having one child. I can't see myself becoming a father again at my age."

The remote fell out of Kate's hand and she felt the tears sliding down her cheeks at his words. It was at that moment that the bottom fell out of her world and she wondered if this baby would be the beginning of their end.

She didn't hear anything after that answer. She picked up the remote and walked out of the living room and practically fell into their bed. She hugged his pillow and let the tears fall freely. She sobbed uncontrollably and she was glad that he wasn't there, because she didn't want him to see her fall apart. She didn't want him to see the heartbreak that his answer had caused.

She fell asleep a short time later. Hearing her phone ring in the distance made her cry even harder. Her last thought was that she was going to have this baby. Even if it meant the end of her and Castle's relationship...


	2. Chapter 2

_**I should have mentioned that this story is mostly AU. Thanks for all the follows and reviews. And like I said before, don't worry, this will have a happy ending. Eventually...**_

When Kate woke, she listened to the voicemail on her phone. Castle sounded so happy. It definitely didn't fit her mood. She knew that she should have called him, but her heart was still too raw. Too batter and way too bruised. Maybe if it had been any other day she wouldn't have cared, but she'd found out that she was pregnant on the same day that she had heard the man she love say that he doesn't want any more children.

Hearing him say that nearly destroyed her. She had always thought that Castle was a wonderful father. That if the circumstances had been different, he would have had a house full of children. Alexis had turned out great. She was smart, funny and caring.

So, hearing him say that he was done having children, made her wonder if he would resent this baby that she carried inside her. Would he believe that she hadn't planned this? That it had been a mistake and she wasn't trying to trap him. Or would he accept this baby. Would he still love her afterwards? More importantly, would he love their baby? Or would he leave her to raise their baby alone?

Those questions made her start crying all over again. To have him turn his back on their baby would kill her. She put her hand on her flat stomach and whispered to their baby, ""I love you already and I'm sure that your daddy will to."

She let herself imagine what their baby would look like. She imagined a little baby with her eyes and his hair. She could see him holding their baby and looking down at her with eyes filled with love. However, she wondered if her dreams were just that. Dreams.

She knew that Castle was coming home the following day. Usually she would have picked him up from the airport, but she couldn't face him just yet. So, she picked up her phone and sent him a text. It was short and sweet. She typed: _**Tomorrow is going to be a busy day at the precinct. Can you call your mother to pick you up?**_

She hit send and turned down the volume on her phone. She didn't want to talk to him and didn't want to hear the ringtone she had assigned to him. Her heart was so raw that all she wanted to do was run and hide. She sat up in their bed and looked at the picture of them that sat on his night stand. She picked it up and looked wistfully at the picture of the man she loved. The man that loved her. Would he still love her when he found out that she was expecting a baby?

She wasn't sure how long she had been looking at the picture. She heard the front door open and realized two things. She looked like hell and the door to their bedroom wasn't closed. She wasn't ready to talk to anyone. However, when Castle's mom walked into the bedroom. Even though the lights were off in the bedroom, she knew that Martha would be able to tell that she was upset. She had a sixth sense about these kind of things. It was at times like this that Kate wished her mom was still alive. Times like this that she needed someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on.

Martha took one look at her son's girlfriend and instantly knew that something was wrong. She walked over and sat beside Kate and asked, "What did my son do?"

Kate laughed sadly and said, "He didn't do anything."

Martha gave her a look that only a mom could. It was her, I don't believe you look. Kate finally sighed and whispered, "I can't talk about it."

It was true because every time she talked about it, she could feel herself starting to cry again. She couldn't tell Martha that she was going to be a grandmother again. Because she hadn't even told Castle yet. And regardless of what he said, he deserved to know about their baby.

Martha leaned over, put her arms around Kate and hugged her softly. She whispered to her, "If you need to talk, I will be up in my room." She turned to leave, but turned back to Kate and said, "Whatever my son has or hasn't done, I'm sure that he didn't mean to. Talk to him Kate."

Kate nodded and smiled sadly at her. She whispered, "Thank you."

Martha smiled back and walked to her room. She knew that something had Kate upset, but she couldn't imagine what would make the normally strong willed woman that he son had fallen in love with so upset.

She turned on her tv and watched the interview that she had recorded from earlier. She listened to Richard talk about the new book and then the reporter asked him about the relationship with Kate. She knew that their relationship was still relatively new, but she had hoped that Richard would ask her to marry him one day. She liked Kate and she knew that Kate liked her. At least she hoped she did.

Then when the reporter asked about more children, Martha smiled. However, she heard the part of the interview that Kate hadn't. She saw her son's face light up with joy and he said, "I can't imagine having more children, but you never know what surprises life might bring. And honestly, there isn't anyone else that I could ever imagine having children with."

Martha smiled at the prospect of having more grandchildren. She wondered what had upset Kate so badly. She didn't realize that Kate was pregnant and had only heard part of the interview. She wondered if maybe Kate didn't want children and she was upset at her son for announcing on national tv that he wanted more children with her. She bit her bottom lip and whispered softly to the empty room, "What's going on with these two?"

Kate tossed and turned in their bed that night. When she opened her eyes the next morning, she wondered if she had dreamed the events of the previous night. She stood up and walked out into the living room and saw her purse where she had left it. She picked it up and saw the prescription for the pre-natal vitamins sticking out. It was with a heavy heart that she got ready for the day ahead.

She walked into the precinct that morning and smiled sadly when she saw Rick's empty chair. How was she going to tell him that she was pregnant? After watching that interview last night, she was hesitant to say anything to him. She sighed and got back to her paperwork.

She hadn't expected to see him come into the precinct that day. She had assumed that he would go home and she would have a little more time to think about what she was going to say to him. Instead, here he was sitting beside her desk. He looked at her and raised his eyebrow at her. She knew he had a million questions, but all she could do was smile at him sadly and motion her head towards the breakroom. She might as well get this over with.

She sat down and motioned for him to take a seat. She sat across from him and took his hands. She looked at him sadly and whispered, "I just want you to know that I did plan this. I didn't realize that anything was out of the ordinary until yesterday."

Castle looked at her with a worried expression, "What happened yesterday?"

She took a deep breath and whispered, "I had a doctor's appointment. I didn't even realize that anything was out of the ordinary. I just.."

Castle swallowed hard, "You're scaring me sweetheart. What..."

She held up her hand and continued, "I have been so busy at work. I didn't even realize that I was late."

"Late?" Now he was truly confused.

Kate laughed at the look on his face. Despite the heartache that she felt. She looked down at their joined hands and squeezed them tightly. She realized that she was using them as a lifeline. She was trying to ground herself to him and trying to keep herself from falling into a pit of despair. She finally whispered, "I'm..."

She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. She loved this man so much. She didn't think that she'd ever loved someone quite as much as him.

She couldn't go on. Couldn't tell him her news. She looked down at her lap and swallowed hard. She didn't look at him until he pulled one of his hands free from hers and put his finger under her chin. He raised her head so that she was looking into his eyes. She saw the look of pure and complete love in his eyes. She risked losing everything simply because her damn birth control failed.

He leaned forward and kissed her softly. She grabbed onto him tightly and whispered, "I love you. So damn much."

He kissed the top of her head and that just made it harder for her to say what she needed to say. She swallowed hard and whispered, "I will understand if you don't want anything to do with me. I will hate it, but I will understand. Just know that I will always love you and nothing will ever change that."

Rick was extremely worried at this point. He ran his hands up and down her back and whispered, "Just tell me Kate. Whatever it is, we can deal with it together."

She was amazed at how sweet he was being to her. She knew that in a matter of moments she was probably going to destroy three lives. Hers, Rick's and their unborn baby's. She finally whispered, "I'm pregnant."

The silence in the room was so loud that you could have heard a pin drop...


	3. Chapter 3

_**First, I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews. They are truly appreciated. This is an angsty chapter. They have a lot to work out between them. Just know that it will work out between them.**_

When Castle heard Kate whisper those two words, he was rendered speechless. He didn't say anything. He simply opened and closed his mouth. Kate looked up at him and she laughed at the look on his face. He didn't look angry. He looked shocked and she had never seen him at a loss for words. Usually it was just the opposite.

She smiled and told him, "Say something."

"I don't know what to say. I... Are you sure?"

Kate felt a growing sense of dread welling in the pit of her stomach. This was the point where he was going to tell her to choose. Choose between the baby growing inside her and the man standing in front of her. How was she supposed to make that choice?

She finally nodded and then told him, "I didn't plan it. I.."

Kate felt her world falling down around her, but there was nothing she could do to stop it. Why wouldn't he say something? Anything was better than the silence that filled the room. She finally whispered softly, "Say something..."

All kinds of thoughts filled Castle's head. A baby? He was too old to have another child. He did the calculations and he would be in his early sixties by the time their baby would graduate from high school. Then, the next thought was a baby. A baby with Kate. A. Baby. With. Kate. He looked down and whispered, "A baby..."

Kate nodded into his chest and whispered, "Yes."

It was all she could manage. She couldn't look at him for fear of seeing the rejection in his eyes. So, when he pushed her away from him, she expected him to turn and walk out of the break room. Instead, he leaned down and kissed her softly. She hadn't been expecting that. She'd been expecting his rejection. So, when he kissed her, she couldn't help releasing the tears that she'd been trying so hard to fight.

She cried against his chest while he simply held her. Castle had a million thoughts going through his head. They had never discussed having children before. Was she upset? Did she want to get rid of the baby? He finally asked, "What's wrong?"

Kate tried to talk between the sobs that wracked her body. She finally got herself together enough to say, "I know you didn't ask for this. I will understand if you want out."

Out? What was she talking about? This was his baby. Their baby. Did she think he would turn his back on her? Of course she did. Then he remembered back to the interview from last night. Damn. Of all the questions that reporters could ask, why did it have to be that one? And on the same night that she found out that she was pregnant. Wait, he had said that he wanted children with her.

He lifted her chin and whispered, "I don't want out. This is our baby Kate."

She looked up at him. Not sure that she had heard him right. She swallowed hard, "What about the interview last night? You said you didn't want any more children. I don't want you to feel trapped. I..."

Castle shook his head and leaned down to kiss her softly. Then he whispered, "I don't feel trapped. I'm shocked, but only because we weren't trying to have a baby."

"But the interview. You said..."

Castle laughed and said, "You obviously didn't hear the rest of it. I did say that I can't imagine having more children, but you never know what surprises life might bring. And honestly, there isn't anyone else that I could ever imagine having children with."

For a brief moment, she looked like she didn't believe him. He whispered, "Did you really think that I wouldn't love our baby?"

She didn't know what she thought. She knew that he loved Alexis with his whole heart. She just remembered the interview and how heartbroken she had been after hearing him say he didn't want more children. She finally said, "I know you love Alexis."

"Why do I sense a but in there?"

"You wanted her. You were married and happy. We aren't..."

Castle pulled back from her and asked, "We aren't what? Married? Happy? I thought we were happy. At least until today. Because apparently you think I'm some kind of ass who will leave the woman he loves just because she's pregnant."

Kate shook her head, but Castle was upset and not willing to let her speak, "If that's who you think I am, then you don't know me at all Kate. I thought we had something special. Something real. Love means trusting the other person. No matter what."

"Castle, I..."

"Save it Kate. If that's the kind of man that you think I am, then we won't have any hope of a future together. I love you Kate. I have loved you for years. You need to think about what you want from our relationship. I want it all. I want to marry you Kate, but I can't if you think I'm going to throw it all away because of a baby. When you figure it out Kate, let me know. Because I'm really confused right now."

He turned to walk out, but before he did, he kissed her softly and then turned and left. Leaving Kate just as confused and bewildered as she was before she told him about the baby.

Castle left the precinct and headed back to his loft. He couldn't stop himself from slamming the door. This brought Martha down the stairs and into the kitchen. She looked at her son and couldn't remember a time when she'd seen him this upset. She couldn't tell if he was ready to cry or to hurt someone. So, she hesitated when she asked, "What's wrong?"

Castle slammed down the glass that he's been drinking from. Martha was surprised that it hadn't shattered into a hundred pieces with the force that he used. He looked at her and said, "Kate is upset."

Martha nodded, "I could tell she was upset last night. She had been crying. Even if she was trying not to let it show."

"She was crying?"

"Yes. I'm not sure what's going on, but she seemed very upset after watching your interview last night."

Castle laughed bitterly and said, "I'll tell you what's wrong. She doesn't trust me."

"I don't believe that Richard. She loves you very much."

Castle just blurted out, "She's pregnant mom. She's pregnant and she thinks that I won't want the baby."

Martha looked stunned. She couldn't believe that anyone would think that Richard Castle wouldn't want more children. Then it hit her. That interview last night. She told him, "The interview."

He nodded and picked up the glass and threw it across the room. It hit the wall and shattered into a thousand pieces, "That damn interview. This is why I always declare my personal life off limits. Dammit! I thought we were happy...

"You two are the happiest couple I know."

"She doesn't trust me mom. If she did she would know that I would love this baby. Just like I love Alexis."

Martha looked at her son. She could tell how upset he was. It was true that he loved Alexis. She knew that he would have had a houseful of kids. If only he had found the right woman to love. Martha truly believed that Kate was that woman. They seemed so very happy together. There had to be more behind this. Something that Kate wasn't saying to her son.

"You need to talk to her."

"Oh yeah. Because that worked so well when she told me. I just walked out on her."

Martha watched as her son walked into the living room. He looked like a defeated man. She wasn't used to seeing her son like this. He looked like he had lost his best friend and in some ways he had. Kate had been so much more than a girlfriend. She'd been his work partner and someone that he looked forward to seeing. Even before they had started dating. They had always been just friends. Although Martha had suspected that her son had had feelings for Kate for a lot longer than he was willing to admit. Even to himself.

Martha shook her head, "Go. Wait for her in front of the precinct. Talk to her. And for heaven's sake, don't let you pride stand in the way of talking to her Richard."

He shook his head and walked into the bedroom. Martha heard the slamming of the door and realized, not for the first time, how stubborn her son was. She thought about all the women Richard had dated before Kate. She hadn't cared for them. Not even the mother of her granddaughter. That was until Kate came along. She could actually say that she loved and approved of Kate being with her son and she was damned if the two of them were going to screw things up.

She picked up the phone and made a quick phone call. This was going to require the best performance of her lifetime. Operation Back Together depended on it...


	4. Chapter 4

_**First, I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews. They are truly appreciated. I know that the last chapter had Castle out of character, but my muse got mad when I tried to write it any other way. This chapter is getting closer to the happy chapters to come.**_

Martha made quite a few calls before she had everything set up. She went into her son's room and saw him laying on the bed. He was staring up at the ceiling and he looked deep in thought. She sat beside him and asked, "What are you thinking about?"

"Why would she not trust me? Surely I've proved myself to her over the years."

Martha sighed and told her son, "She was probably scared. Especially after seeing that interview." 

"It wasn't that bad. Was it?"

Martha shrugged, "She got all kinds of hormonal things going on. Plus, she had just found out she was pregnant. She had a right to be worried about your reaction."

"But to think that I don't want the baby. I love Alexis."

"Because you've had years to love her, but a new baby. At your age."

"Thanks mom."

Martha laughed, "I'm just saying, it isn't easy for a strong woman like Kate to feel insecure about this baby. Had you ever told her that you wanted to have a baby with her before?

Castle shook his head, "No."

"Has she ever told you she wanted children before?"

He sighed and said, "No, but she should know that I like children. I have a daughter."

Martha laughed softly. Her son was such a man. And as such, he was essentially clueless. She needed to get him out of the house for a few hours, so, she told him, "Alexis is coming home tonight. She had a break in her classes and is missing you. I told her that you would pick her up at the airport."

"Can you do it mother? I don't feel like..."

"No, I most certainly cannot. You need to go get your daughter and come straight home."

Castle looked at his mom funny. He had a feeling she was up to something, but he wasn't in the mood to try and figure it out. He'd screwed up big time with Kate and the news of her pregnancy. Maybe seeing his oldest child would put him in a better mood. So, he got out of bed and grabbed his car keys off of the bedside table. He kissed his mom on her cheek and headed out of the loft. He checked his phone, hoping to see a text from Kate, but there wasn't one. He couldn't blame her really. He told her that he loved her and then he walked out on her. Way to go Richard. If you want to push her away for good, that's the way to do it. He wondered if she would ever talk to him again. Wondered if he had ruined everything. He knew that he needed to make it up to her somehow, but he had no idea how to go about it.

So, he drove to the airport in silence.

Meanwhile, Martha waited for Kate to get home. She came through the door and looked absolutely exhausted and broken down.

Kate saw Martha standing in the kitchen and smiled at her sadly. She really didn't want to talk to her, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to get out of it. She was right because the minute Martha saw her, she walked over to her and gave her a hug. Then she said, "My son is an ass."

Kate gave her a watery smile and said, "Yeah. He is, but I love him."

Martha knew at that moment that there was hope for them. As long as they still loved each other, she knew that there was hope for them. So, she looked at Kate and said, "I ordered dinner. It will be here soon. Go, freshen up and get ready for a good meal."

"I'm not really hungry. I..."

Martha shook her head, "Nonsense. You need to eat. I'm pretty sure that you haven't eaten all day. Which isn't good for you or the baby."

Kate looked at her in shock. Then she asked, "He told you about the baby?"

"Yes."

"Did he tell you that I made him feel like I didn't trust him. It's not that. I am just so confused. I never thought I would be having a baby. And if I did, I didn't think it would be like this."

"Like what?"

"I didn't think that the father of my baby didn't want more children."

"He has always wanted more kids."

"Really?"

Martha nodded, "Yes. However, Meredith didn't want him to touch her after Alexis was born. So, there was no chance of more kids. And the other women he either dated or married were too self-centered to care about anything other than themselves and his money. At least until you came along."

"I hurt him. I don't know if he will ever forgive me."

"He will. Richard isn't one to hold grudges. He will come around. Trust me."

Martha watched as the tears slid down her face. She reached out and took her into her arms and hugged her. Kate grabbed her tightly and whispered, "It's time like this that I wish my mom was here."

Martha hugged her tighter and then whispered, "I know. I'd like to think that I could fill in for her. At least if you'd let me."

Kate nodded, "I would like that."

Martha smiled and told her, "Well, my first official job as your stand in mother is to tell you this. My son and you have something special. Something real and lasting. This baby is going to bring you closer together. Don't let your pride stand in the way of doing what's best for the baby and for both of you."

Kate laughed and said, "Okay."

"Now, go freshen up and get ready for dinner. It will be here in a few minutes."

She pointed towards the bedroom and Kate laughed at the serious look on her face. She nodded and said, "I'm going."

She had no sooner got into the bedroom when Castle and Alexis came through the door. Martha rushed over to hug her granddaughter and kiss her son on the cheek. He looked at her and asked, "Is Kate home?"

Martha nodded and motioned with her head towards their bedroom door. He nodded and walked towards their room. He knew that he had some major kissing up to do, he just hoped that it wasn't too late.

He walked into the bedroom and saw her curled up on the bed. She was clutching his pillow and he could tell that she had been crying. He wasn't sure if she was asleep or simply ignoring him. At least not until she reached for his hand and pulled it around her waist. Then she whispered, "I'm sorry."

Castle told her, "I'm the one that's sorry. Of everything that you could have told me. A baby wasn't even on my mind. I'm too old to have kids."

She laughed, "You are the oldest big kid I know. I think you will be a wonderful father for our baby."

He laid down beside her and pulled her closer. He kissed the top of her head and whispered, "I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"No. I don't want to hear that you're sorry anymore. We just need to move on."

She didn't care about anything that had happened earlier in the day. The only thing that mattered right now was that he was holding her in his arms. They could work everything else out.

Meanwhile out in the living room, Martha and Alexis were busy getting ready for dinner. Alexis looked at her grandmother and asked, "Do you think this will work?"

Martha smiled and said, "Do you hear them fighting?"

Alexis listened for a moment and then smiled, "I don't hear anything."

"That's a good sign. That means they aren't arguing."

Alexis nodded and the doorbell rang. She hurried to the door and paid the deliveryman. She carried it over to the table and started putting the food on the plates. She had no sooner finished, when the door to her father's bedroom opened. She smiled and rushed over to hug Kate. Kate hugged her tightly and then Alexis said, "So, I hear that I'm going to have a baby brother or sister."

Kate looked over at Castle and he shrugged, "What can I say. Once I got over the shock I couldn't keep it from Alexis or my mother."

Kate turned to him and kissed him softly. Then she whispered, "I forgive you. I love you so much. I just want this baby to know only love. From both of us."

Castle nodded and whispered, "I love you. So much that it hurts."

He leaned down and kissed her softly. They forgot that anyone else was in the room. To their credit, Alexis and Martha used that as an excuse to leave the room. Although, not before they stopped to turn on the radio. Slow soft jazz music filled the room and the couple danced softly together in his living room. Oblivious to anything else around them...


	5. Chapter 5

**And now for a bit of levity in the whole angst stuff. I promise we will get some very good fluff after this chapter. Reviews are love and much appreciated.**

They danced until Kate's stomach started making noises. She looked at him and they broke into laughter. He kissed her softly, "We should probably eat."

She nodded and they walked over to the dining room and sat down. Kate noticed two things. First, all of their favorite foods were laid out on the table. Secondly, there were only two places set. Martha had obviously set this all up. She would have to remember to thank her later. For now, Kate was just glad to be in the same room with the man she loved and that they weren't fighting.

Castle smiled and asked, "So, when are you due?"

Kate laughed, "The first part of July. July fifth to be exact."

Castle's face lit up and he said, "I never thought that I would have the chance to be a father again."

Kate put her fork down and Castle noticed a guarded look come over her face again. He quickly told her, "It's not a bad thing."

Kate smiled at him and took a bite of her rice. Castle watched as she threw the fork down and ran from the table. Castle wondered what he had done wrong this time. He heard a door fly open from somewhere in the loft and went to go find her.

The search didn't take a long time. He found her in the bathroom losing the contents of her stomach. He walked over to her and grabbed her hair to hold it out of the way. With his other hand he massaged her back.

After what seemed like hours, the retching finally stopped. She had never felt quite so bad in her life. She wasn't sure which was worse. Getting sick or getting sick in front of Castle.

She turned to him and said, "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

She tried to get up and he reached out his hand. She took it gladly and smiled weakly, "For getting sick."

"Is this the first time?"

She nodded her head softly and told him, "Yeah. It would have to happen when we are eating." _**And trying to work things out, she thought sadly.**_

Castle laughed, "I'm not sure there is a good time for that. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is only the start of things to come. Meredith had it the entire time she was pregnant with Alexis. And don't let the name fool you. It isn't morning sickness. It should be called all day sickness."

Great. Kate couldn't imagine getting this sick again. She gave him a look before saying, "I don't think I'm going to be able to handle this. I quit..."

Castle laughed and said, "I don't think you can quit."

"Yes I can. I quit. I..."

That was all she managed to get out before she proceeded to get sick again. Why did the morning sickness have to start now of all nights? Why couldn't it have waited until she and Castle had worked everything out? There were still so many things that they needed to work out. So many things that they needed to talk about. However, it was obvious that they weren't going to be able to do any of that tonight.

When she was done this time, he simply picked her up and carried her into their bedroom. He kissed her on the forehead and whispered, "I'll be right back."

Kate could only look at him and nod. She closed her eyes and prayed that she didn't get sick again. That hope was soon dashed when she felt the familiar signs that told her she was going to get sick again. She barely made it to the bathroom before she lost was little was apparently still left in her stomach.

Castle went out into the kitchen and grabbed a glass and poured some warm ginger ale into it. Then, he looked around in the cabinets and found some saltine crackers. He walked into the bedroom and heard her in the bathroom again.

He decided to go into her. He felt helpless as he heard her getting sick, but since there was very little left in her stomach, it resulted in dry heaves.

When she was done, she sat herself up against the wall and closed her eyes. She hoped that if she stayed still, she wouldn't get sick. It seemed to work this time. Or maybe it was the fact that she had nothing left in her stomach. Whatever it was, she decided that this would be her new home for the next nine months.

She had forgotten that Castle was in the room until she heard him ask, "Are you feeling better?"

Kate didn't want to move or talk. She was afraid that anything she did would set off the nausea again.

When Kate didn't say anything, Castle started to get worried. However, when she opened her eyes and looked at him, he smiled. She smiled back at him weakly and he said, "I know it's bad now, but I brought you some ginger ale and crackers. It should help with the nausea and get something into your stomach."

She nodded slowly and let him pick her up and carry her to bed. He sat down beside her and handed her the glass of ginger ale and moved the straw so she could drink it. After a few sips she laid back in the bed and waited for the nausea to start again. She was surprised to discover that it seemed to calm her stomach. Castle handed her a cracker and told her, "Nibble on it."

She nodded and took a small bite. After a few bites, she felt much better. She looked at him sweetly and said, "Thank you."

Castle nodded and told her, "Anytime. Get some sleep. You will feel much better."

"We need to talk."

He nodded, "After you sleep." He turned to leave, but said, "Make sure you take a cracker and eat it before you get out of bed. It will help with the nausea."

Kate nodded and closed her eyes. She wondered again what she had done to deserve this man and his love. Her last thought before she drifted off to sleep was how lucky she was to have met him all those years ago.

Going out into the kitchen, Castle ate some of the food and then cleaned up the leftovers. He put them in plastic containers and went into the living room to watch tv. He knew that they needed to talk, but there would be plenty of time for that. He heard the door close upstairs and soon, Alexis was standing in front of him.

She looked around and frowned when she didn't see Kate. She turned to her dad and asked, "Where is she?"

"She's in the bedroom."

She sat beside him and laid her head on his shoulder and asked, "Did you guys talk things over?"

Shaking his head he told her, "She got sick. Apparently the morning sickness picked now to start hitting her hard."

Alexis nodded and got up to go to the kitchen, "She needs crackers and ginger ale."

Castle smiled at his daughter, "Already taken care of. She's sleeping now."

"Good. Sleep is good for her. And for the baby."

Looking over at his daughter, he saw the smile on her face. He realized that he hadn't had a good chance to talk to her about everything that had happened. He'd barely had time to take it in himself. Being a father again at 44 was just as scary as it had been the first time. Sure, he was more experienced, but he was also worried. Worried that he was too old. Worried that he would be the oldest parent at their child's graduation. He would be in his early sixties by the time the baby graduated from high school.

He looked at his oldest child and asked, "How do you feel about all of this?"

Alexis chewed on her bottom lip and thought about it for a moment. She finally smiled and said, "I have to admit that I was surprised when you told me."

"Are you mad?"

"Why would I be mad? I've wanted a brother or sister for years. Don't you remember what I asked for for Christmas when I was five?"

Castle laughed, "Yeah, you told Santa that you wanted a baby brother or sister. Preferably a brother. And you wanted the baby to be at least four years old because you didn't want to have to deal with changing their stinky diapers."

Alexis laughed at her father's face, "I remember the Santa telling me that baby brothers or sisters were the one thing he couldn't bring me for Christmas. I also remember a baby crib under the tree that year. With a baby doll inside."

Castle laughed at her and shook his head. Alexis had proclaimed it the "worst Christmas gift ever" and had refused to play with it. In fact, he found it disassembled and stuffed in the trashcan. However, when she turned six, she asked her dad for another baby doll. In the span of a year, his daughter had decided that she was a girly girl. Which lasted for a year. When she turned seven it was as if a switch had turned again. Alexis was a constant mystery to him.

"So you are okay with being a big sister at nineteen?"

She nodded, "Yes. I'm more than okay with this. Especially since Kate is the baby's mom. She's really good for you dad."

"She is. Isn't she?"

"Yeah. I never thought you would be happy again. I watched you go from one woman to another and you were never really happy. At least not until you met her."

"We are good for each other."

"You are. She's going to make a wonderful mom."

Castle just nodded and then hugged his daughter tightly. They ended up falling asleep there on the couch. Which was where Kate found them the next morning.

She couldn't help but smile at the cute picture they made. She hoped that their baby would know that he or she was loved. Kate leaned down and kissed Castle softly. He opened his eyes and smiled against her lips. He turned his head to the side and asked, "Feeling better?"

She smiled, "Yes. The crackers and ginger ale seemed to have worked. Thank you."

"It's the least I can do. It is partially my fault after all."

Kate smiled the first real smile in days, "I guess I have to accept part of the blame."

Castle laughed and the sound woke Alexis. She looked over at her dad and Kate. They looked incredibly happy. Not at all like her grams was telling her. She made it seem like the two adults were on the verge of calling it quits. To her, it seemed like they were just like normal. Although it did seem like they were a little apprehensive around each other, but that had always been the case. At least before they had started dating.

Alexis stretched and smiled at the two adults and announced, "I'm sore. I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower and then I'm going to go shopping."

Castle looked at his daughter and laughed, "Shopping? You come here to see me and you go shopping?"

Alexis shrugged and said, "You have to work sometime. Besides, Kate and I can use a little girl time."

Kate did a double take at her suggestion. She was surprised that Alexis wanted to spend time with her. Not that it should have surprised her really. She had always like Castle's daughter and she knew that Alexis liked her. So, she nodded and smiled, "I would like that. If I can keep anything down that is. I'll take some crackers and ginger ale with us. Just in case."

Castle smiled as she leaned down to kiss him. Then she whispered, "We still need to talk."

"I know. Can we talk now? Get it all out in the open."

He nodded and then they went into their bedroom. He sat down on the bed and she stood in front of him.. Then he looked up into her eyes and said,"I'm so sorry for everything I said. I was hurt and angry. I didn't mean it. I trust you. With my life. And I love you. More than anything."

Kate nodded, "I know. You have never given me any reason to not trust you before. I just wasn't sure how you would feel about the baby. Whether you would want it or whether you would ask me to have an abortion."

At the word abortion, his head popped up and he said, "Never. That baby is part of you and part of me. I've always wanted more children, but it was never the right time. And never the right woman. Apparently now is the right time. And you are the right woman."

"You're sure that you are okay with this?"

He nodded and then pulled up the shirt that she was wearing to reveal her still flat stomach. Then, he kissed her belly so very softly and whispered, "Would you tell your mommy that I'm so very happy. I can't wait to see you. Hopefully you will be as beautiful as your mommy."

Kate laughed, "What if it's a boy?"

"Boy's can still be beautiful. We just have to be careful what we say in front of his friends. We can't have him getting beat up on the playground."

Kate laughed and ran her hands through his hair and in that instant, everything between them was right again. None of the words from the day before mattered. All that mattered in that moment was that they were together and they were so very much in love with one another. Kate knew that everything else would work itself out eventually...


	6. Chapter 6

The next month went by very quickly. Instead of getting better, Kate's morning sickness only got worse. She spent the majority of her time in bed and even that did little to help her. She had to sleep with a trashcan beside their bed. Castle was very sweet about it, but Kate was getting tired of not being able to keep any food down.

Not only was she constantly sick, but she was extremely tired. It was all she could do to keep her eyes open during the day at work. She found herself sneaking off to the break room for frequent naps. Ryan and Esposito were having to cover for her. She hated being reduced to this. She was, in a word, a mess.

Thankfully she had a doctor's appointment that afternoon and she was determined to ask him why she was so incredibly tired and horribly nauseous.

Her relationship with Castle had only gotten better over the last few weeks. She couldn't have asked for a better father for her unborn child. He'd even bought her a baby book to read and also one for himself. She laughed at the look on his face as he read the chapter on childbirth. He looked like he was going to be sick himself. She managed to pry the book out of his hand and then she whispered, "Lets save that for later. We have plenty of time before we have to worry about that."

He looked shell shocked and simply nodded as he let her take the book from him. She laughed and then kissed him softly. They made love that night and it was so sweet. At least until she pushed him off and threw up in the trashcan. She felt horrible as she looked at his face, "I'm so sorry. It wasn't you..."

He'd simply nodded sweetly and went to get her some ginger ale. Yeah, she was definitely going to have a talk with her doctor. Maybe there was a pill or something that they could give her. She was fast asleep before he returned with the glass.

He gave her a worried look as he set the glass on the bedside table. He brushed her hair out of her eyes and leaned down to kiss her forehead. He would never tell her this, but he was very worried about her. Despite Meredith being so sick during her pregnancy with Alexis, she had never been so violently ill. She had never gotten sick from simply laying in bed. She'd never wanted to sleep all day long. He was taking her to the doctor's appointment and hopefully they would get the answers they needed.

They arrived at the appointment with ten minutes to spare. All Kate had wanted to do that morning was sleep. Castle had to practically drag her out of bed and carry her to the car. She fallen asleep almost immediately. Her head resting on the window. He'd shaken her awake and smiled, "We're here."

She'd simply nodded and opened her door slowly. She rested her head against the head rest of the seat and when Castle offered his hand, she took it gratefully. He led her into the doctor's office and he went to sign her on while she sat down in the waiting room. When he sat down beside her, she laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. He was starting to get worried about her. This behavior wasn't like her at all. She was always ready to go. No matter the time or no matter how tired she was. This was beyond tired. She was absolutely exhausted.

After waiting a few minutes, they called her name and Castle had to shake her awake. She mumbled, "Just five more minutes."

Castle would have laughed if he hadn't been so worried about her. He told her, "I need you to wake up. We are at the doctor's office."

She mumbled, "No..."

He laughed then and stood up and picked her up. She woke up when he did that and she threw her hands around his neck. She closed her eyes again and wished for something to make this tiredness go away. She heard Castle talking to the nurse, but he sounded so far away and she was just so very tired. It felt good to let him talk while she slept.

The nurse gave Castle a worried look and asked, "Is she okay?"

Castle shrugged and told her, "She's been like this for the last few weeks. She's asleep more than she's awake. And when she isn't sleeping, she suffering from horrible morning sickness. Actually, it's more like anytime sickness. We need help."

The nurse nodded and took her vital signs. She helped Kate undress and into a gown. Everything was normal and the nurse said, "The doctor will be in soon."

Castle sat beside her and looked at the posters on the wall. At least until he saw a diagram of a baby being born. It wasn't that it was graphic, it was just more than he could process at the moment. Then he started staring at the floor. He didn't stop staring at the floor until he heard the door open and then close.

"Hello Kate!"

It was then that Kate stirred and found the energy to sit up. She smiled at her doctor and said, "Hello Doctor Adams."

"How have you been feeling Kate?"

She sighed and she knew that she had to be honest with him, "I've been incredibly tired and just as nauseous. I can't keep anything down and when I do, it comes up almost immediately. All I want to do is sleep. Even when I've just gotten up from a long nap. I sleep in the bedroom. I sleep in the car and I even sleep at work."

Doctor Adams didn't say anything, he simply typed into the computer. Then he nodded and told them, "I would like to do a ultrasound. Just to make sure that the baby is developing normally. And I want to do some blood tests. Just to rule out anything more severe. Like anemia or some other cause for the tiredness."

Kate nodded and laid back on the exam table and watched as Castle moved behind her. He looked incredibly nervous and she couldn't help but smile. She took his hand and gave it a soft squeeze. The nurse came in and drew a few vials of blood.

Then, the ultrasound tech wheeled the machine in. She smiled at Kate and said, "I'm going to put some of this gel on your stomach. It's a little cold."

Kate gasped when she felt the cold gel hit her stomach. She felt Castle squeeze her hand and she smiled up at him. He leaned down and whispered, "I love you. Thank you for letting me be here with you for this."

After a few minutes, she heard the tech say, "I need to get the doctor in here."

She slipped out of the room with a few pictures in her hand. Doctor Adams came back into the room and checked out the machine for himself. He switched it off and told Kate, "Go ahead and get dressed Kate. When you're done, I want to see you in my office."

Kate was truly worried then. She asked, "Is everything alright?"

The doctor simply smiled and said, "I'll talk to you when you're dressed."

He left the room and Kate hurried to get dressed. She was worried about what the doctor had to tell them. Hopefully there wasn't something wrong with the baby. She had fallen in love with the baby already.

She got dressed quickly and hurried out of the exam room and she practically ran down the hall to the doctor's office. She was no longer tired. She was simply worried. Worried about her baby and she wanted to find out what was wrong.

Kate didn't both to knock on the door, she simply walked inside. Doctor Adams was sitting at his desk and he had a smile on his face. Surely if there was something wrong with the baby, he wouldn't be smiling. So, she felt a little bit better. She swallowed hard and asked, "So, what's wrong with the baby?"

The doctor's smile fell and he said, "What makes you think there is something wrong?"

Castle told him, "You haven't given us much to go on. You rushed out of the exam room."

"There isn't anything wrong with your babies. In fact, the sonogram explains why you have been so tired."

Kate didn't catch the word babies, but Castle did. He looked at the doctor and asked, "Babies? Did you say babies?"

Her doctor nodded and said, "It looks like you are expecting twins. Identical twins from the looks of it. Although we won't know for sure until we perform the next ultrasound in a few months."

Kate was still reeling from the news. Twins? She was having twins. She was rendered speechless. The doctor gave her a prescription for medicine to help with the nausea. He also advised her to cut back her work schedule. She simply nodded and they were back to the car. Kate hadn't spoken since the doctor told them they were having twins.

He looked over at her and asked, "Are you okay?"

She nodded and then a huge smile appeared on her face. She leaned over and kissed him passionately and then whispered, "I love you..."

"I love you to."

Castle couldn't stop the smile that crept onto his face. He couldn't believe that they were having twins. He couldn't wait to tell everyone. Starting with his mom and Alexis...


	7. Chapter 7

Kate managed to walk into the loft by herself. She sat down in the living room and let her hand drift to her stomach. Twins. She had never given twins a thought. As far as she knew, they didn't run in her family. She wasn't sure about Castle's family, but she was sure that he would have mentioned it.

She rubbed her belly softly and smiled. She had only known about the twins for an hour, but she was already in love with them. The doctor had said that he thought they were identical. Part of her hoped that they were little boys. Little boys that looked just like their daddy. Complete with his unruly mop of hair.

Castle watched her from the kitchen and smiled. He saw her stroking the skin on her stomach softly and he knew that she was thinking of their babies. He grabbed her medicine and some water for her to wash the pills down with and walked over to sit beside her. He showed her the bottle and she opened her hand. He shook two into her hand and smiled at her softly, "Penny for your thoughts."

After she swallowed the medicine, she told him, "I'm just thinking about the babies. Wondering what they are going to look like. Wondering whether they are boys who look like you or girls that look like me."

Castle smiled and told her, "Boys would be nice."

"But?"

He leaned down and kissed her softly, "I would love two little girls who are just as beautiful as their mommy is."

She smiled and said, "I can imagine what you would be like if we have daughters. Their boyfriends would be subjected to such torture."

"I was fine with Alexis."

Kate gave him a look and he smiled, "Well, I was mostly fine. At least until she hit puberty and started dating. That's when I started freaking out."

They laughed together and she laid her head back on his shoulder. He let his hand rest on her stomach and she put her hand on top of his and intertwined her fingers with his. He smiled and kissed her head. They sat there like that for awhile and after a few minutes, he realized that she had drifted off to sleep. Not wanting to wake her, he decided that he would sleep on the couch also.

When Kate woke early the next morning, she was surprised to find that she was on the couch. Castle was nowhere to be found. She could smell food cooking in the kitchen. She saw her pills sitting on the table and a glass of water sitting beside it. She sat up slowly and opened the bottle, popped them in her mouth and swallowed them with a sip of water.

When she stood up, she realized that she didn't feel sick to her stomach for the first time in weeks. She hoped that it would continue. She wandered into the kitchen and saw Castle cooking breakfast. He saw her and asked, "How do you feel?"

She smiled, "Better. No morning sickness so far. I think your children have decided to give me a break for awhile."

"My children? Why do I think that this is just the beginning of my children and your children? When they are good, they are yours, and bad when they are mine."

She simply smiled at him and tilted her head to the side, "Because that's just the way it is Castle."

She walked over to him and kissed him softly. She didn't hear the door open and she didn't realize they weren't alone until she heard Alexis say, "Just pretend like I'm not here."

Kate and Castle laughed and then Kate whispered, "Do you think we should tell her the news about the baby?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should make her wait until my mom is here. That way we can tell them both at once."

"Tell me what? What's wrong with the baby?"

Kate smiled and then went to get her purse. She pulled out the ultrasound pictures and said, "We went to the doctor yesterday and we found out some good news."

Alexis was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. She was trying to look at the pictures that Kate was holding, but Kate managed to keep them just out of her reach. She handed them to Castle and said, "You tell her."

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

Alexis let out a groan and said, "Will somebody please tell me what's going on?!"

Castle smiled and handed the pictures to her. She looked at them and scrunched up her eyes and asked, "What am I supposed to be seeing?"

Kate could tell the exact moment when she realized that she was looking at pictures of the babies. They were labeled Baby A and Baby B. Her face lit up and she practically screamed, "Twins! You're having twins? Oh my God! I can't believe it! I'm going to have two brothers or sisters?"

She was jumping up and down with excitement. Then she hugged Kate and her dad. Kate and Castle couldn't get a word in edgewise! She looked at her dad and said, "Wait until Grams finds out!"

Alexis took off upstairs toward her bedroom. She was still talking and Castle could tell that his daughter was excited. He looked at Kate and said, "That went well."

They knew the exact moment that Martha found out. Because they heard her say, "Twins!"

It was exactly two point six seconds before she appeared in the kitchen. Castle laughed and said, "That's a world speed record. Even for her."

"What is this that I hear about Kate expecting twins? When did you find out about it and when were you going to tell me about it?"

Castle smiled and Kate said, "We found out yesterday. We only told Alexis a few minutes ago."

Martha looked at Kate and then at her son. For the first time in her life she was speechless. She looked at them and then hugged Kate tightly. She whispered to her, "I'm happy for you. Both of you."

Kate swallowed hard and hugged her back. Then Martha walked over to her son and hugged him. Then she whispered, "I'm happy for you two. I'm going to be a Grandmother again."

Castle could tell that his mom was emotional and saw the tears in her eyes. His mother never cried. He watched as she walked upstairs and then he whispered, "Wow..."

"Yeah. Those were my thoughts exactly."

Then Castle told her, "There's one more person we need to tell. And you aren't going to like it."

"Who?"

"Gates."

Kate frowned and said, "You're right. I don't like it. She's going to put me on desk duty."

"I don't think that's a bad thing. It will be safer for you and the babies."

She knew that he was right, but she didn't want to admit it to him. She sighed and knew that they would have to tell her Captain. Kate was sure that she already suspected something, but this would make it all the more real. So, Kate nodded and told him, "I will tell her today."

Castle smiled and kissed her softly. It was then that they realized she had went almost three hours and she hadn't gotten sick. It was a new record for her. She told Castle, "These pills seem to be working."

She kissed him as she turned to walk upstairs and get ready for work. She wasn't excited about telling Gates. She didn't want to be put on desk duty, but she didn't want to put the babies in harm. So, she would tell Gates and let the chips fall where they may...


	8. Chapter 8

_**Trying for a little bit of humor. Not sure if I succeeded. Thank you for all the reviews and likes. Reviews are loved and much appreciated.**_

Walking into the precinct that morning for work, Kate felt like she was getting ready to face the firing squad. It didn't help that Castle was standing right beside her looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. When she sat down at her desk, she whispered to him, "Would you please wipe that grin off of your face."

Castle was practically bouncing up and down in his seat. His left leg was bouncing up and down and it took every ounce of willpower she had to not put her hand on it and tell him to stop. He finally said, "Can't..."

She shook her head and smiled at him. She knew that he was nervous and excited. She smiled at him and looked down at the paperwork in front of her. Having him here beside her wasn't making this any easier.

Apparently his nervousness was obvious, because when Espo got to his desk, he took one look at her partner and asked, "What's wrong with him?"

Castle immediately shot up out of his chair, "Nothing! Nothing's wrong with me. I need coffee. Do you need coffee Beckett? I'm going to go get some coffee."

Espo laughed and whispered to Ryan, "I think he's had enough coffee."

Ryan nodded, "Yeah dude. You really need to lay off of the caffeine."

Before they could say anything else to him, he was in the elevator and the doors were closing. Espo and Ryan looked at Beckett and asked, "What is up with him?"

She laughed and shook her head, "I have no idea. You know Castle. He's hyper."

Ryan shook his head, "I know hyper and that wasn't hyper. That was weird."

Espo laughed, "But Castle is weird so..."

Kate couldn't argue with them. She simply said, "Get to work. Both of you."

They both saluted her and she smiled before turning back to her paperwork. She heard her phone buzz and she picked it up and saw a message from Castle. She smiled when she read: _**I had to get out of there. I was two seconds away from blurting out the good news to everyone.**_

She shook her head and laughed as she typed back: _**I would have killed you. Even though I know we have to tell them, that's not the way I want it to come out.**_

Castle: _**I know. We had better tell them soon. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it in.**_

Kate: _**Gates will be here in about 15 minutes. We will tell her first and then tell the guys.**_

Castle: _**We? I thought you could tell her and then...**_

Kate: _**I don't think so Mister. This is partially your fault. So, you are going to be here when we break the news to everyone. **_

Castle: _**I'm going to be sick. I...**_

Kate: _**Save it Castle! I've been sick for the last month. Get your ass back in here now. Or I will come and hunt you down. You don't want to suffer the wrath of a pregnant woman. Do you?**_

Castle: _**I think I'm safer here.**_

Kate: _**You have to go home sometime and you have to sleep.**_

Castle: _**I love you Beckett.**_

Kate: _**I love you to, but get you ass back in here now!**_

Castle walked up to her and held out a cup of coffee to her. She gave him a dirty look, "You know I can't have this. I..."

"It's decaf."

"Thank you."

Espo looked up at them and with a smile on his face asked, "Is everything okay between you two lovebirds?"

Ryan laughed and Castle gave her a pitiful look. She simply smiled and shook her head, "Knock it off you two. I swear you act like such little kids sometimes."

At the word kids, Castle's eyebrows shot up and he looked like he was going to run again. She gave him a look and then looked at her gun. He had a feeling that if he left again, she would shoot him.

He looked around the room and tried to keep his mind off of what they were going to do in a few minutes. He whispered, "How much longer?"

She didn't look up, but said, "Another ten minutes."

She heard him blow out a long breath. He took out his phone and started playing a game on it to help pass the time.

When Gates came in ten minutes later, she announced her arrival with a, "Good morning detectives and Castle."

Kate thought Castle was going to have a heart attack. He threw his phone up in the air screamed in shock and barely caught it before it crashed onto the floor. She started chuckling when she saw the looks on Ryan and Espo's faces.

She shot Castle a look and said, "You are going to have to get yourself together."

He shook his head, "Can't. She makes me nervous. I can't go in there. She..."

"Is my boss. I have more to worry about than you do."

"She's going to kill me."

Kate shook her head, "Come on."

"I'm scared."

She smiled softly at him and then reached for his hand. She squeezed it softly and whispered, "We will do this together."

He nodded, "Together."

And together they walked into the Captain's office. Kate cleared her throat as they stood in front of her.

Her top detective looked as composed as usual. Her partner, however, looked like he was going to be sick. After a few long moments, she asked, "Yes? Do you need something or are you two just going to stand there all day?"

Kate looked at her and Castle could only point at Kate. Gates would have laughed at the look on his face, but decided that it would send the man running.

After a few seconds, Kate finally said, "I, we need to tell you something."

Castle nodded and Kate continued, "I'm pregnant."

Gates nodded, "Congratulations."

Castle looked at her surprised, "You don't sound or look surprised."

"Give me a little bit of credit. I could tell that something was wrong with her. She's been off of your game for the past few weeks. And no one ever sleeps that much. At least no normal person."

Kate bit her bottom lip and Gates said, "I guess there's more."

"I found out yesterday that..."

"Come on detective. Spit it out."

Kate looked at Castle and he nodded and reached over and took her hand. This did not go unnoticed by Gates, but she chose not to say anything. She smiled on the inside as she watched him look at her best detective.

Finally Kate managed to tell her, "I'm having twins."

If she was shocked, she didn't show it. She simply smiled at the couple standing before her and said, "Well. I have to say that this is definitely a shock. What are your plans?"

"Plans?"

"Yes detective. You know that I'm going to have to put you on desk duty. I can't allow this job to endanger you or your unborn children. Carrying twins is harder on the body than a singleton pregnancy."

Kate looked shocked. She hadn't expected her Captain to be sympathetic to her situation. She'd expected a reprimand or something more. She finally said, "I plan to work for as long as possible."

"Even though I want her to take a leave. Sooner, rather than later."

Kate gave him a look and said, "Castle... That isn't your decision. I..."

"It's my baby also. I..."

"It's my body and I should be the judge of how long I can work. I..."

"Alright you two! That's enough. I will be the one to decide, if and when you go on maternity leave. If I think that you or your babies health is at risk, you will be on leave immediately. Got that detective?"

Beckett nodded and Castle looked at the ground. Then Gates said, "Unless there is something else you feel I need to know."

They shook their heads and walked out of her office. Castle knew he was in trouble when she shot him a look and took off for the elevator. She motioned for him to follow angrily. He shook his head, "I think I'm safer here."

She motioned to her gun and told him, "I know where you sleep."

Castle swallowed and decided not to mess with her. He followed her to the elevator and swallowed hard when the doors closed behind them and she stopped the elevator mid-floor.

She turned on him and asked, "What the hell was that all about?"

He held up his hands, "What was what all about?"

"You want me to take leave sooner rather than later? Shouldn't I be the one to decide that. I..."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I was out of line."

"Way out of line."

"Wait a minute. Those are my babies also."

"And I'm the one carrying them and we aren't married and I..."

He looked at her and shook his head. He would marry her in a heartbeat. If only he thought that it wouldn't scare her.

Since Castle didn't know what else to do, he walked closer to her and kissed her. She struggled for a moment and then started kissing him back. After a few moments, she pulled away and whispered, "That's so not fair."

"What?"

"It's impossible to be mad at you when you kiss me like that."

He laid his forehead on hers and whispered, "I'm sorry I upset you. You're right. It's your body and it should be your decision. I won't mention it again."

She shook her head, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. My hormones are out of whack. I..."

He kissed her again and she smiled against his lips and pulled back, "I think you are trying to shut me up."

"You think?"

"Yeah, but I like it."

"Me to."

They kissed again until the elevator started moving again. They were brought to a stop in at the floor of the precinct. Espo and Ryan were standing there and Ryan coughed when they saw the couple kissing. He asked, "You are planning on actually doing some work today. Aren't you?"

Castle and Beckett walked out of the elevator as the two men walked in.

Then Espo said, "They are sickeningly sweet lately. Aren't they?"

Ryan laughed and said "They need to get a room."

Castle whispered to her, "Do you think we should tell them?"

"I think so. Hey Espo! Ryan!"

The men looked at her and she said, "I'm pregnant. With twins!"

It was then that the door started shutting and both men tried to stop it. They were unsuccessful and the look of shock on the men's faces made Castle wish he had a camera.

Castle laughed and said, "I have a feeling we shocked them."

She nodded and they kissed once again, before they heard Gates say, "Get to work Detective Beckett!"

She laughed and said, "Gates is back to normal."

Castle nodded, "I love you, but you better get back to work."

She nodded and sat down to get to work...


	9. Chapter 9

Ryan and Espo came back to the precinct right before Kate left for the night. The shock was still evident on both of their faces. She knew that they were full of questions. So, she told them, "Go ahead. Ask away."

Ryan looked at her, "How long have you known that you were pregnant?"

"For about a month."

Espo was shocked, "A month? You've known that you were pregnant for a month and you didn't say anything?"

"We didn't want to let everyone know. It was killing Castle."

Ryan laughed, "I bet. He's not one for keeping secrets. But twins! When did you find that out?"

"Yesterday at my doctor's appointment."

The guys looked at each other and high-fived one another. Despite their bravado, Kate couldn't help but smile. Espo said, "We are going to have two new members of the team soon!"

"Okay, first of all, they are going to be very tiny babies for a long time. So, we want to try and keep them innocent for awhile."

She might as well have been talking to the moon. Because the guys were off and talking about what they were going to teach their newest additions to the team. She smiled, shook her head and put her hand on her stomach. If nothing, these babies were going to have lots of protective Uncles around them. No one would dare hurt them or else there would be hell to pay.

Kate wondered where Castle had wandered off to, but she got into her car and drove home with a smile on her face. Their babies were definitely going to be loved.

When she got home the first thing she noticed was a rocking chair sitting in the living room. She called out to Castle, "Where are you?"

She didn't hear him answer and went looking for him. She finally found him in their bedroom. He was sleeping in their bed. She smiled and climbed in beside him. Kissing his lips softly, he finally opened his eyes, "Sorry, I guess I fell asleep."

Castle had been trying so hard for her. Hard to make sure that she was okay, that he had neglected himself. It wasn't a surprise that he was exhausted. She kissed him again and smiled, "I saw the rocking chair. What have you been up to today?"

"I went shopping. B-bought some things for you."

"Like what?"

"Stuff for you to eat. Protein shakes. All the books say that they will help you to not lose weight even if you can't keep anything down." Then he reached over to his night stand and handed her a bottle of lotion.

"What's this for?"

"To help avoid stretch marks. I figure that it can be a nightly ritual. I'll spread it on your stomach each night before bed. I also bought some epsom salts for your bath."

"You've been busy."

Castle smiled and told her, "I just want the best for you and the babies. I will do whatever it takes to make that you have everything you need."

Kate smiled at him and whispered, "You are a wonderful, wonderful man. How did I get so lucky?"

He simply kissed her and pulled her down into the bed. He kissed her and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing much better. I only got sick twice today."

"That's an improvement. Are you hungry? I can make us dinner."

She smiled as she snuggled closer to him. She was happy here in his arms and didn't want to move anytime soon. She put her arm around his neck and pulled his lips closer to hers for a kiss. She pulled away from the kiss slowly and whispered,"I love you Richard Castle."

"And I love you Kate Beckett. Marry me?"

Castle wasn't sure who was more surprised by his sudden proposal. Him or Kate. She was quiet for a few long moments and then she turned to look at him. She didn't say anything. She just studied him.

Long ago, she's told him that she was a one and done type of girl. Never imagining that he would be her one and done. She tried to imagine what her life would be like without him in it and the thought of life without him filled her with sadness. Sure, he was frustrating at times, but he was also the most incredibly sweet man she'd had ever been with. She couldn't and didn't want to know what her life would be like without him in it.

She looked at the man she loved and he seemed to withdraw as he got out of the bed, "I'm sorry. Forget I asked."

She realized then that maybe she had been thinking for far too long. Maybe her silence had been mistaken for something else. She pulled him back down onto the bed, turned his face to hers and looked him in the eyes, "Don't you want to marry me?"

Castle nodded slowly, "I do. I can't imagine a life without you in it. I want to make a home for you and our babies. You once told me that you were a one and done type of girl. Well, I want to be your one and done. I want to be the man that makes you smile and is there to dry your tears. I want to be the man you come home to every night and the man that you kiss goodbye before you leave in the morning. I want to be your everything."

She smiled and then whispered, "Yes."

"W-what?"

Kate laughed and then leaned forward to kiss him softly. Then she pulled back a bit and whispered against his lips ever so softly, "I want to marry you. I want you to be my one and done."

Castle was in shock. After everything he'd done and all of the twists and turns, he'd finally found the woman that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. She loved him for him and not for his money or his fame. When he finally processed what she said, he smiled and then hopped around on the bed. Acting like a little kid who's best dream had come true. He looked at her with tears in his eyes and whispered, "I love you. So much. You've made me the happiest man in the world."

Kate looked at him and knew what he said was the honest truth. He loved her and he had loved her for the longest time. If she was honest with herself, she had loved him for nearly as long. It had just taken her a lot longer to admit those feelings to herself and to him. But when she had, they had opened her world to the love of Rick Castle. And what a world that was.

Now, she was expecting his babies and their future together was destined to be great. She kissed him and whispered, "Come to bed Castle. I love you and want to show you just how much."

Castle smiled and did as he was told. They made love until early the next morning. Falling asleep in each others arms. Each with a huge smile on their face.

They woke late the next morning and heard Martha and Alexis moving around in the kitchen. Castle laughed and said, "She sure is here a lot for someone who didn't want me to smother her."

Kate laughed and kissed his chest before she got up to get ready for the day. Castle followed her to get ready for their day. She realized that she hadn't been this happy in a long, long time and it felt wonderful...


	10. Chapter 10

The next ten weeks went by very quickly for Castle and Beckett. She was growing bigger each and every day and was finally starting to show. Castle loved talking to her belly late at night when he thought she was asleep. He would have long conversations with their growing babies. He would tell them how much he loved them and their mommy and that he couldn't wait to see them. He would kiss her belly softly after he was done.

It took every ounce of self control she had not to let him know that she was awake and listening to him. She knew that it was his way of spending a little bit of time with their babies. She wouldn't take that time away from him for anything.

One night though, he slid into bed and didn't talk to her stomach. She turned to look at him and he was trying hard to fall asleep. She put her hand on his shoulder and asked, "Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine."

She sighed, "I know that isn't true."

"Why?"

She knew that there wasn't any way to tell him without blowing the secret of his nightly ritual. So, she simply said, "You've talked to the babies every night for the last seven weeks. Tonight, you simply got into bed and haven't said a word to them.

"I just don't feel like it tonight. I'm tired."

Kate knew that there was more to his mood than he was letting on. She turned on the light and looked at him, she could tell that he had been crying. His face was red and he sounded funny when he talked. She put her hand on his arm and whispered, "Talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Castle, you're obviously upset about something. Let me in."

"I can't..."

She shook her head and got out of bed. She needed a drink and she needed to figure out how to get him to talk to her. She walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of orange juice. She stood at the sink and drank slowly. She let her free hand drift to her stomach. She was drinking slowly and thinking about what could be wrong with Castle when she felt it. She dropped the glass and it fell to the floor. She gasped and put both her hands on her stomach.

She couldn't move. She wanted to see if it was what she thought it was. Castle came running into the kitchen and asked, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

She would have laughed at the sight of him standing in their kitchen in his boxers, but she was too busy trying to concentrate on what was going on inside her. She finally whispered, "I think I felt them move."

She saw his eyes light up with love and whispered, "Really?"

Kate nodded and he asked, "What does it feel like?"

"Like a bunch of butterflies in my stomach, but much softer."

"Oh man. I wish I could feel it."

She took his hands and pressed it to his stomach. She felt it again and looked at him, "Did you feel that?"

He shook his head, "No. I can't feel anything."

"According to the books it's not uncommon. You should be able to feel it soon."

Castle leaned forward and kissed her softly. Then he said, "Stand still while I clean up the glass. I don't want you to get cut."

While he was cleaning up the mess, she decided to try and find out what had been bothering him earlier. She stood still and followed his movements and smiled, "Are you going to tell me what had you so upset earlier?"

"It was nothing. I just..."

"It was something. What's wrong?"

"I just found out that Alexis is dating someone and it seems to be very serious. She wants to bring him over to the loft to meet us."

"That's great news."

"No it's not! What if she wants to get married? I'm not ready for my little girl to get married and.."

She smiled and moved closer to him. Then she took his hand and pulled him closer as she whispered, "She's got to grow up sometime. Besides, it might not be that serious. Look at her relationship with Ashley."

"This is different. She said his name like ten times in five minutes. I think she's in love with him."

"Would that be so bad? She deserved to be happy. With a family of her own."

"It just makes me sad and.."

"And it's always been the two of you. I think it's wonderful how much you love her and how much she loves you. No matter what, she's always going to be your little girl."

"You think so?"

Kate nodded and kissed him again, "She's always going to need her dad."

"She is. Isn't she?"

"Yes. I still need my dad. Just not as much as I did when I was little."

"I'm more than a little embarrassed though. You were supposed to be asleep when I was talking to the twins."

"It was sweet Castle and I love it when you kiss my belly. It's very sexy."

He raised his eyebrows and asked, "Really?"

She nodded and whispered, "Yes. How about we go to bed and you can whisper to the babies. Kiss my stomach and then make love to me."

His eyes lit up and she pulled him towards their bedroom and shut the door behind them.

They woke up early the next morning. Kate had an ultrasound appointment and they were going to be able to find out the sex of the babies. They had thought about letting it be a surprise, but Kate knew that the suspense would kill Castle and he would bother her for the remainder of the pregnancy.

So, she drank the water and felt as if she was ready to explode by the time they got to the doctor's office. They checked in and waited. When they called her name, she laughed when Castle popped up and held out his hand to her. She shook her head and wondered if his chair had been spring loaded.

He helped her up and they walked back together. They walked back out an hour later and both had huge smiles on their faces. Kate looked at her fiance and said, "You need to call Alexis. We need to tell her about this and I don't want to tell her after Martha."

Castle nodded and called his daughter. She was going to meet them at their house at six for dinner. She didn't know about the surprise that would be waiting there for her. Castle smiled and said, "I'm going shopping. I'll drop you off at the precinct and pick you up after work."

She smiled and kissed him deeply. Then she said, "I want to get married before the babies come. I want to be Mrs. Richard Castle when I give birth and not after."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded and said, "I'm positive. Next month. A small wedding with just our family and friends there."

He kissed her and whispered, "It sounds absolutely perfect. I can't imagine anything better."

She couldn't either and she kissed him deeply before he dropped her off at work and went shopping. He had a few things to pick up before Alexis came to dinner that night and he wanted to make everything perfect...


	11. Chapter 11

Castle had never been able to do shopping for Meredith when she had been pregnant with Alexis. She'd never wanted to wear maternity clothing. She'd never wanted to call attention to the fact that she was having a baby.

He knew that Kate would be different. She loved being pregnant and they had went shopping together for her maternity clothing. However, he wanted to get her some shirts that he had seen earlier in the week. He had debated over it for awhile, but he knew that he needed to get it for her when they found out the sex of the babies today.

So, he bought every shirt he could find. He even bought a few for Alexis and one for Martha. He knew that they would love them.

He got home right after Kate did that night. She raised her eyebrows at the bags and asked, "What did you do, buy out the whole store?"

He smiled, "I wanted to, but decided to hold off. At least until you could be with me."

Kate walked over to him and kissed him softly. She put her hands over his shoulders and kissed him softly and whispered, "I missed you today."

"You did?"

"Yes. And so did the babies. They were very active this afternoon. I think they could tell that there daddy wasn't there with me."

He looked into her eyes with such love, that her heart did a flip flop. She put her hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes. God. She loved him so damn much and she seemed to love him more with each day that passed. He kissed her softly and pulled back, "I'm so jealous that you can feel them move. It must seem so real to you now."

She nodded, "I have to admit that before I felt them move for the first time, it was very hard to believe I was pregnant. Other than the morning sickness that is. It's hard to explain it, but I've been imagining what they look like. And knowing the sex of them, well if makes it even more real to me."

Castle pulled her into their bedroom and kissed her softly. He loved being able to share this pregnancy with him. She couldn't imagine doing this without him. She loved how his eyes lit up with surprise and wonder when he talked to the baby. She could only imagine what he was going to do when he felt them move for the first time.

He handed her one of the t-shirts that he bought for her. She smiled and rolled her eyes. She was marrying a twelve year old, but that made her love him even more. Their babies were so incredibly lucky to have him for a father. She'd seen him with Alexis and he was an incredible father.

She walked into their bathroom and put on the shirt that he bought. It fit perfectly and there was even room for her to grow into it. She smiled at the design and thought that it was perfect.

Castle walked behind her and gathered her in his arms. She leaned against his chest and his hands came to rest on her stomach. He nibbled on her ear and whispered, "I wish we were going to be alone tonight. I want you all to myself."

Kate laughed, "As much as I want that myself, your daughter's coming over and your mom will be home soon. We need to get ready."

He nodded and turned her around and kissed her one final time before he walked out of the bathroom. She smiled as she watched him leave in the mirror. Then she turned and followed him out into the living room. She heard the door open and soon Alexis was calling out, "I'm home!"

Kate smiled and hurried out to the living room.

Alexis walked over to her and hugged her tightly, "Wow! You look amazing!"

"I look huge."

Alexis shook her head, "No you don't!"

"You're a sweetheart. Go say hi to your dad."

Kate laughed as Alexis walked away. It was obvious that she either hadn't noticed the shirt or hadn't put two and two together. Because she didn't say a word about it. The shirt held a clue to the babies sex.

She heard her future stepdaughter in the kitchen chatting with her dad. She knew that he was wearing an identical shirt. Except instead of the shirt being black, it was white.

Castle thought for sure his daughter would say something about the shirt he was wearing, but she simply chatted about school and her friends. Martha got home shortly before dinner was ready. Kate came to stand beside Castle and they watched as the other women finally noticed the shirts.

Alexis was the first to notice it and asked, "The blue smiley faces. There are two of them. Does that mean that the babies are boys?"

Kate nodded and chewed on her bottom lip and asked, "Are you okay with that?"

Alexis looked at her dad and then at Kate and simply nodded. Then she said, "I need to go to my room."

The three adults were stunned by her reaction. They had been expecting her to be happy, but her reaction was anything but happy. If anything she was almost sad. Castle looked at his mom and Kate and said, "I'll go talk to her."

Kate was confused as she nodded and went to sit in the living room. Martha came to sit beside her and patted her on the knee. Then she said, "She will be fine. I'm not sure what's wrong, but Richard will figure it out."

She could only nod and hope that everything would work out for the best.

Castle knocked on her bedroom door softly and heard her whisper, "Go away."

He smiled and walked into the room and saw her curled up on the bed. Her face looked like she had been crying. He put his hand on her back and asked, "What's wrong pumpkin?"

She shook her head, "It's nothing."

"Obviously something's wrong. I thought you were excited about the babies?"

"I am."

"Something's bothering you. Tell me."

She sighed and whispered, "I guess I was hoping that they babies were girls."

"Why?"

She shrugged, "You're going to be so happy about having boys that you're going to forget all about me. It's stupid, but I'm scared you will ignore me."

Castle smiled and Alexis thought he was laughing at her and said, "Forget it dad. This is why I didn't want to say anything. You just laugh at me and..."

She rolled over to face the window in her room and he rolled her back to face him. She closed her eyes, but he shook her a little and said, "Open your eyes."

She did as he asked and then he told her, "I would never, ever forget or ignore you."

"Yeah right."

Kate walked into the doorway and listened to Castle and Alexis talking. She didn't want to intrude, but wanted to listen and help if she could.

"I'm serious. Do you know what I did the day you were born and the doctor announced that you were a girl?"

Alexis shook her head, "No."

Castle climbed into her bed and pulled her close to him. She let her head rest on his shoulder and he smiled as he remembered back. He told her, "Your mom was convinced that she was having a boy. I didn't care if the baby was a boy or a girl. I just wanted a healthy baby. The day of the ultrasound, they couldn't tell if you were a boy or a girl. I told your mom then that you were a girl. Because you didn't look your best and you didn't want your picture taken. So, from that day forward, I knew that you were a girl. When you were born, your mom was happy, but I was over the moon. Then I held you for the first time and it was then that I knew what love was. You opened your eyes and looked at me and I knew right then and there that I would do anything for you. I went to the nursery to see you and told all the other dad's there that you were my little girl."

Castle smiled and went on, "Then they brought you into the room. They wheeled you into the room in that tiny bassinet and I picked you up and didn't want to put you down. At least not until the nurses told me that they had to take you back to the nursery to get checked over. I kissed your tiny forehead and handed you over to the nurse. For me, it was love at first sight. And nothing has changed since then."

Alexis smiled and Kate was standing in the doorway and had to wipe a tear away. Alexis whispered, "I'm just afraid that I won't be needed once the boys get here."

It was then that Kate walked further into the room and told her, "Nothing could be further from the truth."

Alexis turned and Kate saw her shocked look and said, "I didn't know you were there. I'm so embarrassed."

Kate laughed and said, "Don't be. And don't think that we won't need you. Who else is going to help me keep your dad in line? And who is going to help me teach the twins that not everything your dad says is okay to do?"

Alexis giggled and Castle looked at Kate and said, "Hey! I'm not that bad!"

Alexis smiled, "Yeah dad, you kind of are."

"Yeah. We are going to do everything we can to include you Alexis. I'm not saying that it won't be hard, but you and your dad will have plenty of one on one time."

"Time for all night movie marathons?"

Castle smiled and nodded, "Who else is going to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 with me and come up with cheesy lines?"

Alexis smiled, "I always beat you at coming up with good ones."

"You do not!"

"Do to."

Kate smiled as she watched Castle and Alexis together. She slipped out of the room and went into the kitchen to finish dinner. Martha smiled at her and asked, "Everything okay?"

She smiled and said, "Everything's perfect."

Martha nodded and smiled at the mother of her future grandchildren. She was so glad that everything was working out for them. She had always liked Kate. She was good for her son and brought out the best in him. She hugged her with tears in her eyes and said, "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For being you. For taking the chance on loving my son. For letting me be part of your lives."

Kate didn't know what to say, so she simply smiled and hugged her tightly and they cried together silently. Kate considered herself lucky to be part of this family and she knew that she was the luckies woman in the world right now and she wouldn't change it for anything in the world.


	12. Chapter 12

_**I know that some people might have not liked Alexis in the last chapter. I feel that her reaction was an honest one. She's been an only child for 18 years. It's only normal that she might feel a little upset at the thought of brothers and twin brothers at that.**_

_**Thank you for all the reviews, favorites and likes. They are all appreciated and loved.**_

Kate found herself laying on the couch later that night. She couldn't get comfortable in their bed. So, she wandered out to the couch and finally found a comfortable position. She turned on the tv and tried to find something good to watch. She soon gave up and turned it to a music station. She closed her eyes and put her hands on her stomach. She felt the babies moving and couldn't stop the smile that came to her face.

She was constantly reminded of the fact that she was creating two new lives. She knew that Castle would be a wonderful father. Alexis was a wonderful young lady. She only hoped that she would be a good mother. It was at times like this that she wished that he mother was still alive.

Feeling a tear slide down her cheek, she wiped at it and then heard Alexis ask, "What's wrong Kate?"

Turning in the direction of the voice, Kate opened her eyes and smiled, "I'm fine."

Alexis shook her head, "You're crying."

"I'm just missing my mom. I wish she was here."

"To help you with the babies."

"Yeah. Someone that's been through this before. I just don't want to screw it up."

Alexis smiled, "I don't think you're going to screw it up Kate. My brothers are going to be so lucky to have you for their mom."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. You love my dad and that's got to be harder than raising kids. Even two kids."

Kate laughed, "Loving him is like having a twelve year old around. All the time."

"Why do you do it?"

Kate smiled and got a far away look in her eyes. She told her softly, "Because one minute of loving him is better than ten minutes of being alone. He frustrates me to no end sometimes, but I honestly can't imagine my life without him in it. He makes like interesting and fun."

Alexis smiled, "I hope I find a love like that eventually."

"It took your dad and I a long time to realize that we were meant to be, but when we did, it was wonderful. Loving your dad is worth it."

Alexis smiled and asked her, "What's it like being pregnant?"

"Well, the first few months were just awful. I never slept and when I did it was only for a few hours at a time. And don't even get me started on the morning sickness. They need to call it all day and all night sickness."

"Was it that bad?"

"It was awful, but the last few weeks have been wonderful. I finally felt the babies move. It was the most amazing thing ever."

"Really? Can I feel it? What does it feel like?"

"Not yet. Your dad was really upset because he couldn't feel them moving. I told him that it will be awhile before anyone else can feel them moving, but that doesn't stop him from trying. The first time I felt it, it was like I had swallowed a butterfly. I wasn't even sure what it was. Then it happened again and I dropped a glass of water that I had been drinking. I think it really scared your dad."

Kate smiled and Alexis laughed. She knew that her dad had a tendency to overreact to certain things. She'd lived with it for nearly nineteen years. She loved him, but he was very quirky sometimes. Sometimes it felt like she was the parent and he was the child.

Alexis bit her bottom lip and told Kate, "I'm sorry for getting up and leaving when I found out the babies are boys. I guess I always thought that men wanted boys and thought that dad would love them more than me."

Kate shook her head, "Alexis, I can promise you one thing. That will never, ever happen. You and your dad have something very special. It was only the two of you for the longest time. You have a bond that is unbreakable. I don't and won't ever come between you and your dad. I know that your dad will love these babies, but it won't take away the love he has for you. I know that I can't take the place of your mom, but I hope that you would let me be a mom like person for you."

Alexis smiled softly. She had always liked Kate. She smiled and nodded, "I think I would like that. Heaven knows that we need everyone to keep dad in line. And it's only going to get worse once the babies are older. I don't even want to think about what's going to happen when they get old enough to play laser tag with him."

"Oh no... I forgot all about laser tag. You honestly don't think he would play with them. Do you?"

Alexis laughed, "Oh I do. If there's one thing I can say for certain, my brothers will probably be playing laser tag before they even know what the words mean." At the look on Kate's face, she laughed and patted her knee, "Don't worry, it's not as bad as it seems. It's actually kind of fun."

They didn't realize it, but Castle had been standing in the doorway where they couldn't see him. He had heard the whole conversation and what he heard made him smile. He loved the idea of his two favorite women talking about playing laser tag with the twins. It had always been a tradition between him and Alexis. He hadn't thought about including the twins, but it sounded as if Alexis was looking forward to including her brothers in their special time.

He heard Alexis ask, "Do you want something to drink?"

"I would love some orange juice."

He took that as his cue to slip back into the bedroom, but he couldn't stop smiling. He knew that Alexis had been worried about the babies coming. He hoped that she realized that she had nothing to worry about. He loved her just as much as he would love the twins.

Alexis grabbed her juice and leaned down and kissed her softly on the cheek and whispered softly, "I'm glad that you are their mother. They are very lucky kids."

Then she slipped out of the room and left a speechless Kate laying on the couch. Kate touched the spot where she kissed her and she got up and hurried into her bedroom.

She saw that Castle was still awake and working on his computer. She stood beside him until he looked at her and asked, "Are you okay?"

Kate simply nodded wordlessly and he wondered if something was wrong. He had never seen her speechless before. He asked, "Is there something wrong with the babies?"

She shook her head, "No. They are fine."

He put his computer to the side and looked up at her. She had a shocked look on her face and he knew that something had happened. He was sure that it had something to do with the conversation that she'd had with Alexis. He didn't want to let on that he'd heard the conversation he had heard, but he decided that he needed to find out what was going on, "Come on Kate. What's wrong?"

"I couldn't get comfortable in the bed. So, I went to lay on the couch. Alexis and I talked. She's a really good kid."

"I know. Does that have something to do with the look of shock on your face? Did she say something bad?"

It was at that moment that the tears sprang to her eyes and she shook her head. Okay, this was definitely weird. The conversation that he had heard hadn't been bad. Maybe something that changed after he had left the room. He stood up and took her in his arms and hugged her tightly. He kissed her softly and she started crying even harder.

This definitely gave him a reason for concern. Kate was never speechless and she was not an emotional person by nature. He was ready to go talk to Alexis, when he heard Kate hiccup and say, " She kissed me on the cheek and then she told me that the babies are lucky to have me as a mom."

Castle laughed and Kate gave him a dirty look. Then she said, "Don't laugh at me."

"I'm not laughing at you. I think it's very sweet."

"It is. Isn't it?"

She broke down in more tears and Castle simply held her tighter. He kissed the top of her head as he led her into their bed. He tucked her in and then climbed into bed beside her. He knew that the tears had been caused by a combination of hormones and Alexis' words. He smiled and fell asleep holding her close to him. Thinking again how lucky he was to have met and fallen in love with this incredible woman laying with him in bed...


	13. Chapter 13

Kate and Castle were married exactly one week later. Lanie had cornered him in the morgue late one night. She'd told him that time was running out and that her girl had better be married by the time those twins were born. Or else.

Castle had gulped and nodded. Lanie went on to tell him that, as Beckett's best friend, she was in charge of everything. From helping her get a dress to decorating.

Castle had asked, "What am I supposed to do?"

Lanie smiled, "Just show up with Beckett. At your house in the Hamptons." She turned to walk away, but turned back and told him, "Make sure your tell your mom and Alexis that I will be calling on them to help."

Castle nodded and smiled as he left the morgue. He told Kate about the conversation that night and she smiled, "I should be helping her and..."

Castle smile, "I was told that we are only expected to show up. With you. Lanie is taking care of everything. She's enlisted the help of my mother and Alexis. I'm not worried about Alexis, but Lanie and my mom..."

Kate laughed, "I trust Lanie. Sort of."

When they walked into the kitchen the morning of the wedding, they saw a note on the fridge. It read: _**Get your butt out of that loft and get to the Hamptons. Now...**_

Castle laughed and after breakfast, they left for the house. She held his hand the entire way. Every mile they drove, Kate got more nervous. She looked out the window and smiled.

When the pulled into the driveway of the house, Kate was taken aback by all of the decorations that adorned the house. There were pink, white and lavender ribbons everywhere. There were pots of flowers that matched the ribbons. Kate smiled and she wondered how long it had taken for her best friend to set this up.

She had barely stepped onto the porch before the door flew open and Lanie, Alexis and Martha appeared. Lanie hugged her and said, "Girl! I didn't think you would ever get here. Now lets go get you ready to marry writer boy!"

Kate laughed and walked into the house, Castle followed, but when he tried to follow them into the master bedroom, he was stopped by his mother. She shook her head and told him, "You are to go into the guestroom. Ryan and Espo are waiting for you."

He was shocked when the door slammed in his face. He turned and headed to the guestroom. The guys were waiting there with a tuxedo and smiles on their faces. Ryan clapped his hands together and said, "Lets get you ready to get married."

Lanie smiled as she looked at Kate. It had taken three hours, but they finally had her makeup and hair done. They got her into her dress and Kate had to admit that she looked beautiful. It was the perfect dress. Lanie definitely picked out the perfect dress for her. She hugged her friend, "I feel sick."

"That's nerves and it's perfectly normal. Are you sure you want to marry him?"

"Lanie! Of course I'm sure. I love him."

"Okay! I was just making sure. It's my duty as your best friend. I don't want you making a mistake and marry the wrong man."

Kate laughed and shook her head. She heard a knock on the door and someone say, "It's time."

Lanie looked at her and she thought that Kate looked extremely beautiful, but incredibly nervous. She took her friends hand and gave it a squeeze. Then she said, "We better hurry. Castle's waiting."

Kate smiled and nodded. She knew that was the truth. If she had to admit it to anyone, she knew that he had been waiting for her for years. Ever since their first case together. She knew that he had been in love with her for nearly as long. It had taken her a lot longer to realize just how much she loved him.

Lanie walked out of the room and was followed by Alexis and then by Martha. Just as Kate was getting ready to leave the room, she saw her dad approaching her. She smiled brightly at him, "Dad! What are you doing here?"

"What? You didn't think I was going to let my only daughter get married and not be there to give her away did you?"

She saw Lanie walking quickly to the backyard and she could have hugged her friend. She had truly thought of everything. Kate smiled, "Not at all."

"Do you love him? Really love him."

Kate smiled and whispered, "Yes dad. He's my one and done."

Jim Beckett smiled at his only daughter. He could tell how incredibly happy the man she was marrying made her. He finally told her, "If he ever hurts you..."

"He won't dad."

Jim nodded, "If he does he will have me to answer to."

Kate smiled, "He won't, but thank you dad."

He kissed her on the cheek and then walked her down the aisle to her future.

Richard Castle had never been at a loss for words, but he was rendered speechless when he say Kate appear in the doorway with her father. She was the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen in his life. He had been with some of the most beautiful models and none of them could compare to her. Her hair was up in a bun, with some loose curls framing her face. She literally took his breath away and he forgot how to breathe.

Ryan noticed and whispered, "Breathe man."

Castle nodded and watched as everyone stood and turned to look at her. The smile that adorned her face was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. When she was finally standing beside him and he whispered, "You are so beautiful."

Kate smiled at him softly, "You clean up well also."

He smiled and they turned to the minister and said their vows in front of their friends and family. They had written some of their own vows.

Kate smiled at him warmly, "When I first met you, I thought you were the most arrogant, conceited man that I'd ever met. I didn't want you anywhere near me, let alone working with me. Then, you slowly worked your way into my life and into my heart. It took me almost four years to realize that what I felt for you was real. That I loved you and wanted to spend my life with you. Not just as your work partner, but as your partner in life and in love. You are my one and done Castle. Forever and always."

Castle had to swallow the lump in his throat. He was always able to come up with the right words, but he was very emotional and it took him a moment. He smiled at her, "I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. You captured my heart when you walked in that room all those years ago. I thought that I would never get married again. I would never trust my heart to another woman. Then you came along and changed my life. I found myself wanting to spend time with you. You are a remarkable woman. You opened your heart to me. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Raising our children together. Growing old with you. I want to be the last thing you see before you go to sleep at night and the first thing you see when you wake up in the morning. I love you Kate Beckett. You are the most amazing woman and I am so lucky to have met you."

The minister then pronounced them husband and wife and said, "You may now kiss the bride."

Castle and Kate turned to each other and kissed each other in front of their family and friends. It was at that moment that everyone started clapping. Kate leaned her forehead against his and laughed, "I don't think they thought we were going to go through with it."

"You think so?"

Nodding, she laughed and kissed him again. Oblivious to anything else going on around them. They only stopped when Alexis tapped her dad on the shoulder whispered, "You're making a scene daddy."

They pulled away from each other and went to the reception. When the toasts started, Alexis was the first one to stand up. She smiled at her dad and Kate. Then she told everyone there, "I want to welcome Kate to our family. You have been an important part of our family for years. A lot longer than you have realized. I hope that we can become better friends. My dad loves you and you love him. You make him happy and for that I thank you. I love you Kate. I want to officially welcome you to our family."

Kate gave her a watery smile and raised her glass. After what seemed like a thousand more toasts, the guests started leaving. Castle led Kate to the bedroom and there, they made love as husband and wife for the first time...


	14. Chapter 14

Castle woke early the morning after their wedding. He watched Kate as she slept. She looked extremely peaceful and calm. He kissed her cheek and made sure she was still asleep. When he was sure that she wouldn't wake up, he pushed up her night shirt and kissed her stomach. He looked up at Kate and smiled. These babies were so damn lucky. He was damn lucky to have her for his wife. Wife. He still couldn't believe that she had married him after all this time. He loved her and would always love her.

He whispered to her stomach, "Guess what boys? Your mommy married me yesterday. Although you probably already knew that. I'm not sure how much you can hear, but I still like talking to you. One day, you are going to find that special someone and when you guys find her, you need to hold onto her. Not in a stalkerish way, but don't let her get away. Make sure you tell her that you love her. Sooner, rather than later. It took your mom and I a long time to come to our senses. But now that we have, it's incredible. Loving your mom is one of the best things I've ever done. She's a great woman. She..."

It was then that he felt her hands run through his hair. He knew that he was busted and looked up at her. He saw tears in her eyes and she whispered, "You are an incredible man Richard Castle. I love you so damn much."

She pulled him up to her and kissed him softly. The kisses got more heated and he let his hand rest on her stomach. She saw his eye grow wide and he pulled away. She felt a huge kick and Castle whispered, "Wow..."

She smiled, "The baby moved."

"I know. I felt it."

His eyes grew even wider and he said, "I felt it. I felt them move. I felt the babies move!"

She watched as the man she loved jumped up in the bed and started screaming at the top of his lungs, "I felt them move! I felt them move!"

The smile that she gave him was enough to light up a small city. He finally calmed down and sat beside her and put his hand on her stomach again. He whispered, "I know you're there guys. I love you."

He was rewarded with a small kick against his hand. He looked up at her with tears in his eyes, "I felt them move..."

She nodded and ran her hands through his hair. She looked at him with such love in her eyes that it nearly blew him away. She knew that it was at that moment that the pregnancy felt real to him. She was glad that it had happened and they kissed and made love for the second time as husband and wife.

When they finally managed to drag themselves out of bed that morning, they found that Alexis was cooking breakfast for them. She smiled at Kate and her father, "It's about time the two of you woke up! I thought I was going to have to start knocking on the door and drag you out here!"

Castle looked at his daughter and said, "WE are on our honeymoon dear daughter. You shouldn't even be here."

She laughed and told him, "I will leave after dinner tonight."

Alexis watched as her father walked behind Kate and let his hands rest on her belly. She saw his eyes brighten when he said, "I felt it again."

Kate smiled and turned her head to kiss him. Alexis smiled, "What did you feel dad?"

"I felt the babies move."

Alexis threw down the spatula that she had been using and hurried over to where they were standing. She wanted to feel it, but was scared to overstep her bounds. She wasn't sure if Kate would mind her touching her stomach. She was pleasantly surprised when Kate took her hand and pressed it against her stomach. Alexis scrunched up her eyebrows trying to concentrate on what was happening. She didn't feel anything at first, but after a few seconds, she felt a tiny kick against her hand. Alexis' eyes grew wide and she whispered, "Wow... That was incredible. Does it hurt?"

Kate laughed, "No. It's actually pretty cool."

"It's amazing."

Castle looked at his daughter and said, "It's not something you should experience. At least not before you are forty."

"Dad! By that logic you and Kate shouldn't be married and having children. She isn't forty yet."

"She's different."

"How?"

"She isn't my little girl."

Alexis laughed and said, "Breakfast is ready."

Kate smiled and told her, "This looks delicious. The babies are starving and so is their mother."

They all sat down to eat and Alexis said, "Have you discussed names for the babies? We can't keep calling them 'the babies' for the rest of their lives."

Kate chewed on her bottom lip and said, "We haven't discussed names yet. I guess we probably should though."

Castle nodded, "How about the names Babar and Rufus?"

Kate and Alexis both looked at him and responded at the same times, "No!"

They looked at each other and laughed at the look on his face. He asked, "Why not?"

Kate smiled and patted him on the shoulder and laughed, "We are not naming our sons after a elephant or a dog."

"Really dad. They need normal names. Names that aren't going to get them beat up on the playground every single day."

Kate smiled at her and promised, "I will not let them be named something awful. We will need to agree on their names." She looked at Alexis and said, "I would like your input to."

"Really?"

Kate nodded, "Of course. You are their big sister. It's important that you like their names also."

Alexis wiped at the tears that suddenly sprang to her eyes. She nodded and then ran out of the kitchen. Kate and Castle looked at each other. Kate whispered, "I think I upset her."

"Let me talk to her."

He kissed her softly and left the kitchen to talk to his daughter.

He found her sitting on her bed. She had her legs up and her chin was resting on her knees. She was staring into space and she had a thoughtful look on her face. When she saw her dad, she whispered, "She's so nice to me dad. I.."

"We just want to include you in this. The babies are going to look up to you. Their big sister."

"But naming them? That should be something that you and Kate do. I..."

It was then that they heard, "I would like your input to Alexis. You're important to me."

Alexis looked up and saw Kate standing in the doorway. She jumped up from her bed and ran over to where Kate stood. She hugged her tightly and whispered, "I love you Kate. Thank you. For everything."

Kate smiled and said, "There's no need to thank me. Just promise me one thing."

"Anything."

"Promise me that you will veto any strange names that your father comes up with."

"Agreed!"

The women linked hands and they walked back into the kitchen. Chatting the entire time. Leaving Castle standing in the room and with his mouth wide open. If he lived to be a hundred he would never understand the way a woman's mind worked. And for that he was extremely grateful...


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N I like Gates. Even if she seems a bit hard on Castle and Beckett. Thought this would be a good time to bring her in...**_

Kate had returned to work after a two week honeymoon. It was, without a doubt, the best two weeks of her life. She had spent hours in bed with her new husband. She was almost twenty four weeks pregnant and she was growing bigger each and every day. When she walked into the station there was a note from Gates requesting to see her.

She sighed and walked over to her office. She knocked on the door and heard, "Come in!"

Gates motioned for her to sit down and she complied. She waited for her boss to get off of the phone and stared around the office uncomfortably. She wished that Castle was here, but he'd had to meet with his publisher.

When Gates got off the phone, she looked at her detective and smiled, "How are you feeling Detective Beckett?"

Kate wasn't sure if this was a trick question or not. So, she answered her honestly, "I'm more tired that usual, but okay otherwise."

Gates nodded and clasped her hand together on the desk. She looked at her best detective and did something that was sure to upset her, "I'm putting you on desk duty. Effective immediately."

Kate's mouth opened and closed rapidly, "I'm perfectly fine Sir! I..."

Gates shook her head in a way that told her that she wasn't going to debate this with her, "I'm only thinking of you and your safety. You can barely walk, let alone run after suspects. You have got a great team Detective Beckett. Let them do the running for you. At least until your babies are born."

"I..."

Gates shook her head and said, "Let me tell you a story." She turned a picture towards Kate and smiled, "This is my family. I have three sons and two daughters. I pushed myself hard. Harder than I should have and as a result, my youngest son was born prematurely. He was born at twenty seven weeks. He only weighed two pounds. Back then it was rare for a premature baby to survive. He spent nearly three months in the hospital. Before he came along I was all about my career. My husband spent more time with the other children than I did. Until Keith came along that is. I was driven by my career. Saw my four older children only in passing. When he came along, suddenly none of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was that my baby was fighting for his life in the NICU. I took a leave of absence for the entire three months he was in danger."

"Didn't that hurt your career?"

Gates nodded, "It probably did, but it didn't matter to me. The only thing that mattered to me was being there for my baby boy. You are going to make a wonderful mother Detective Beckett. Just like you are a wonderful Detective."

"I feel like I'm being punished."

Gates shook her head, "This isn't a punishment Detective. I'm looking out for you and for those babies you are carrying. I want them to be carried as close to term as possible. After all, they are part of this crazy family we have going on here."

Kate smiled at her boss, "Yes Sir. I will start delegating more to Ryan and Esposito going forward. Despite my thoughts that I can still go out into the field."

Gates nodded and motioned for her to leave. However, before Kate got out the door, she smiled and said, "Congratulations on your marriage."

"Thank you Sir."

Gates smiled as her Detective walked out of the room. She had expected her to put up more of a fight. Looking at the picture of her son, she smiled and hoped that she spared Beckett the heartache of watching her babies fight for their lives every single day. Wondering if she would ever be able to take them home with her. If they would make it to their first week. First month. First year. She picked up the phone and called her now twenty year old son, "Keith! Can you meet me for dinner tonight? Good. I love you."

She smiled into the phone and talked with him for awhile longer before she hung up the phone. Of all the jobs Gates had had over the years, being a mom was the best job ever.

When Castle arrived at the precinct, he knew immediately that something was wrong. The first clue was that she was practically pounding her keyboard into oblivion. He looked at Ryan and Esposito and the both shook their heads. If they knew what was wrong, they weren't saying.

So, he took the chance to ask her himself, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Okay, so he was going to have to pry it out of her, "I think your poor keyboard would think differently. If it could talk that is."

She looked at him and practically growled, "I'm on desk duty! Me! On desk duty!"

Castle opened and closed his mouth, "Why?"

"Gates wants me to be more careful. I'm getting further along in the pregnancy and she wants me to be careful."

"I can understand that."

"You agree with her..."

He held up his hands, "I am not saying that I agree with her. I..."

"I can't believe this. My own husband thinks that I should be confined to a desk. I can't believe this..."

She stood up to walk into the break room. She slammed the cabinets looking for her teabags. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She felt his arms circle around her and rest on her stomach. He brought his cheek to hers and whispered, "I only agree with her because I want the babies to be born safely and if that means keeping you behind a desk, then yes. I agree with her. The longer these babies stay in you the better it is for them."

The babies picked that moment to kick. She laughed, "I can't believe it. They haven't even been born yet and they are already agreeing with you."

He kissed her cheek and then whispered softly to her, "I wish I could keep you safe. Every day that you go to work I worry that you won't come home. I worry that something will happen to you and the babies. Knowing that you will be safe behind a desk." He kissed her softly, "Well, that helps ease my mind. Just a little bit."

She rested her head against his chest and whispered, "I hate this."

"I know. Just remember that this isn't forever. The babies will be here before you know it. Then you can go back to running after the bad guys."

She laughed and Castle swore that he had never heard a sweeter sound in his life. He turned her around and kissed her softly. Wishing that the day was over and that he could take her home and to bed. Instead, he followed her back to her desk and said, "I can't wait to get you home tonight."

Kate simply smiled and laughed at her husband. Thankful once again that he seemed to know just what to say to make her feel better about what had happened that day. She loved him and would be forever grateful for having him in her life. Something she couldn't have said five years ago. If someone had told her that she would be married and having his babies, she would have told them they were crazy.

Now she couldn't imagine her life without him in it. She sat down at her desk and got back to the paperwork. She looked over at him and noticed he was smiling at her. She smiled back and shook her head. God how she loved him. So much that she would do anything to make him smile. She would even deal with being stuck at her desk for three months. It seemed like forever, but she knew it would go by faster than she thought...


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N This is completely AU. As the daughter of a non-mother, this is something I can relate to. So, I can imagine that Alexis might have some of the same feelings about her mom. So, here's the next chapter.**_

When Castle and Beckett got home that night they smelled food cooking in the kitchen. Castle called out, "Mom!"

He was surprised when, instead of seeing his mother in the kitchen, he saw Alexis. He looked at her and asked, "What are you doing here?"

Alexis laughed, "It's nice to see you to dad."

"I didn't mean it in a bad way. I... What are you doing here?"

She smiled, "I missed Kate."

He did a double take, "Kate?"

"And you."

"Gee thanks. I love you to."

She smiled at her dad and asked, "Where is Kate?"

"She went to lay down. She said that she was tired. Incubating a human is hard work."

Alexis shook her head and laughed. They talked while she made dinner. She asked, "Have you guys decided on names yet?"

Castle shook his head, "No. We can't agree on one name, never mind two. Or four if you think of middle names. She doesn't like any of the names that I've suggested. I don't understand. What's wrong with Napoleon or Fairfax?"

Alexis scrunched up her nose at the suggestions her father gave for names, "Seriously? Where do I even begin?"

"There's nothing wrong with either of those names."

"Yeah, if you want them to get beat up every single day of their lives and then when they turn eighteen they are going to change their names. I promise you that."

Castle smiled at his daughter. He knew that the names were kind of out there. However, after talking to Kate, they decided that they wanted to enlist her help in naming the babies. The best way to get that help was by letting her think that she was saving them from a terrible fate. A fate worse than death. A fate of being named something horrible.

He finally asked, "What would you name them?"

Alexis thought for a moment and then smiled, "I like the names Benjamin and Caleb. And pretty much any middle name would work for those."

She didn't know that Kate was standing around the corner listening. She smiled, "Those are much better than the suggestions that your dad made." She turned and looked at Castle, "And what about using our dads names for their middle names."

Castle thought about it for a moment and then smiled, "Benjamin James and Caleb Jackson Castle."

Kate smiled, "I love them. Perfect names for our babies."

She smiled and was surprised when Alexis rushed forward to hug her. The babies picked that moment to kick and Alexis smiled brightly and told them, "Dinners almost ready."

Before she turned around, Castle was sure that she was upset. Despite her upbeat manner. There was something up with his daughter. So, he told Kate, "Go rest. I'll come get you when dinner is ready."

Kate kissed him softly and slipped out of the kitchen. Leaving Castle and Alexis alone. Once he was sure that Kate was in the bedroom, he asked his daughter, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Alexis. I know you and I know when something's wrong."

She stirred the chicken and rice slowly and sighed, "I guess I'm just a little envious of the babies."

"Why?"

She shrugged and looked at him, "Because they have Kate for a mom. She won't ever be like..."

"Your mom."

"Yeah. And I know that it's terrible to think this, but I wonder what I would be like if Kate was my mom. Don't get me wrong dad. You were great, but sometimes it would have been nice to have a mom around. To talk to about the girl things. Things that have always been hard to tell you. And I just wonder..."

Alexis stopped talking then and bit her lip. She didn't want to hurt her dads feelings. He was a great dad. The best. But sometimes she would have liked to have a mom around. Not necessarily her mom, because her mom wasn't meant to be a full time mom, but someone like Kate would have been nice.

Castle took the spoon out of her hand and set it to the side. He took the food off of the burner and turned her around and hugged her, "What do you wonder?"

"It's stupid really."

"No it's not. Tell me."

Alexis bit her bottom lip and finally told him, "I just wonder why mom left. What was wrong with me? Did I cry too much? Was I a bad baby? Why didn't she want me?"

Castle took his daughter in her arms, "It wasn't you. You were absolutely perfect."

"Then why did she..."

"Your mom was never meant to be a mom. She liked the idea of it, but the actual reality was something completely different. Your mom was more suited for Hollywood. Not Main Street. Forget about changing diapers. You've seen how she is around you. She'd much rather take you shopping and three year old girls are much too messy for someone like her."

"She didn't love me."

Castle shook his head, "She did. In her own way. She just has a hard time showing it."

"If she loved me dad she wouldn't have left and only come to see me once or twice a year. She wouldn't make me feel like a burden to her. Sometimes I wish I had a mom like Kate. The babies haven't even been born yet and she loves them."

"She loves you to you know."

Alexis shrugged, "She has to. She's married to you."

It was then that Kate walked into the kitchen and told her, "No. I don't have to love you, but I do. You make it easy. You're a wonderful young lady. You're smart and funny. Plus, you help me keep your dad in line."

Both of them looked up at her suddenly. She laughed at them softly, "What? It's the truth." She walked over to Alexis and hugged her, "I feel lucky to have you in my life. And it isn't because I'm married to your father. Even if we weren't together I would still want to spend time with you. Every young lady needs a woman in her life that she can look up to. Your mom wants to be your friend. I wish I was your mom also, but since that won't happen, would you be okay with me being your fill in mom?"

"Could I call you mom? It would feel funny, but since the babies are going to call you mom and dad is going to be dad... Well, I..."

Kate looked at this incredible young lady standing in front of her. She finally nodded and told her, "I think I would like that. If your dad doesn't mind. I know that I can't take your mom's place and I don't want to. I'd be a fill in mom."

Alexis and Kate looked at Castle and he was having a hard time controlling his emotions and finally choked out, "I think that would be perfect. I know I failed you when it came to your mother, but..."

Alexis shook her head, "You didn't fail me dad. She did. She's more of a crazy Aunt that comes into town for the holiday's and is gone just as quickly. I know I shouldn't say this, but..."

Castle looked at his daughter, "What?"

"I just don't feel a mother daughter connection to her and that's bad. I know."

Castle knew that he should say something. Anything to make his daughter feel better, but he'd been thinking the same things for years. Despite him trying to get Meredith to form that kind of bond with their daughter, the old woman refused. Instead being more inclined to come into town when it suited her best. It wasn't any surprise to him that Alexis hadn't formed a strong bond with her mother. It was the one area in which he felt like he had failed his daughter. He was a great father, but no one could replace a mother. Especially in a girls life.

Castle smiled and hugged her tightly, "Your mom loves you in the best ways that she can. I tried to..."

Alexis stopped him, "You were wonderful dad."

"But it wasn't the same thing as having your mom."

Kate slipped out of the room and went to lay down on the couch. She closed her eyes waiting for their dinner to be ready.

Castle and Alexis finished their talk and went off in search of Kate. Alexis smiled, "She looks so peaceful laying there. I hate to wake her up."

"We are waking her up for dinner. If we don't she will hurt us."

Kate smiled with her eyes closed and said, "You're darn right mister. I'm hungry and so are your future children. Starving me is not a way to get on our good side!"

Castle and Alexis looked at each other and smiled. Then they each grabbed a hand and pulled her to her feet. Kate hugged each other them and then told them, "Get out of my way! I'm hungry!"

Alexis and Castle laughed as they watched her make her way towards the kitchen. Hell bent on getting to the food. She smiled as she sat down and waited for them to join her. Her brand new and perfect family...


	17. Chapter 17

Kate arrived home from work late that evening. The house was extremely quiet and dark. She frowned and wondered where everyone was. It wasn't normal for their house. She went in search of Castle and finally found him in his office. She could tell immediately that he was upset and that he had been drinking. She whispered, "Is everything okay?"

He didn't say anything, he simply shook his head. He took the bottle of whiskey that was sitting on his desk and took a drink directly from it. She knew that he was upset if he wasn't even bothering with a glass. She walked over to him and took the bottle out of his hand. It took a bit of force, but she finally pried it away from him. She leaned down and kissed him softly. He tasted like whiskey and she grimaced and pulled back, "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. He didn't want to tell her how badly he had screwed up. He'd gotten a call from Paula early that morning and he'd been sitting in his office ever since. At first, he'd been trying to think of a way to tell Kate. Then, the more he thought about it he knew she was going to be upset with him. So, he did something that he rarely did these days. He started drinking himself into oblivion. Then he simply stopped thinking about it. Thinking about how his world was falling apart.

Kate rested her bottom on the edge of his desk and looked him in the eyes. It hurt to look in her eyes. They were filled with such love. Such trust. He saw her smile, "Something has you upset." Before he could talk, she continued, "And don't say it's nothing. I can tell something is bothering you. If you're upset then I want to know."

Castle let his hands drift under her shirt and let them frame her stomach. He felt her hands in his hair and he smiled sadly. He leaned forward and kissed her skin so very softly. He felt one or both of their babies kick. A tear fell from his eyes onto her stomach. It didn't go unnoticed by her. She put one finger under his chin and forced him to look at her, "Castle, you're scaring me. Please. It can't be that bad."

He swallowed hard and then whispered, "I talked to Paula this morning."

Kate nodded, "And?"

"Well, the new book comes out next week."

Kate knew all of this. She knew that the launch party was this coming Friday. It was always that way when a new book came out. She still hated being in the spotlight, but she knew that it was important for his career and she would do it for him. Simply because she loved him.

She nodded and kept running her hands through his hair. Signaling him to continue. He nodded and whispered, "I forgot about book tour. Thirty cities over the next nine weeks. I tried telling Paula that I can't do it. I can't be away from you for that long."

Castle turned his head to the side and let he cheek rest on her stomach. She wasn't sure if he was listening to the babies or just trying to get as close to her as possible, but she knew that he was an emotional wreck.

Kate pushed him away softly and then took his hand and led him to their bedroom. She closed the door behind her and led him to the bed. She laid down and he joined her. He was simply looking at her. Waiting for her to yell at him. To scream at him. To do anything. The silence was killing him.

Instead of getting upset at him, she simply said, "I think you should do it."

"What?"

"It's important for your career and..."

"You're more important than..."

Kate shook her head, "Let me finish. Please?"

Castle nodded, "Okay."

She swallowed and then continued, "I'm basically on desk duty. I'm going to talk to Gates about going on maternity leave early. Maybe we can go together."

"You can't fly. I..."

She laughed at him, "Who said anything about flying? Maybe we can rent one of those tour bus like RV's. I would have to come back once every two weeks to see my doctor's, but..."

"I can fly them into whatever city we are at. You'd really want to do that for me? For us?"

There was no way she was letting this man out of her sights for the next 9 weeks. If she had to tag along on the book tour, then that's what she would do. She had a feeling that Gates would understand. She loved her job, but she loved this man more.

She laid her head on his chest and simply nodded. Then she told him, "I love you Richard Castle. I would follow you to the ends of the earth. Simply to be with you. This is important."

"Okay. I will tell Paula that I will do it, but we are coming home every two weeks and if anything happens during the pregnancy then we are canceling the rest of the tour." He stopped and smiled at her, "We are getting tour bus. I'll get my picture on it. It's going to be amazing. I..."

Castle jumped out of bed and picked up his cell phone. Kate laughed as she watched her husband rush around their bedroom. She shook her head and she knew that she had just made him the happiest man in the world. She knew that relationships were all about give and take. This was her give. He had given her so much in the past.

She let her hands rest on her stomach and the babies rolled around inside her. She laughed as she watched him talking to Paula. Now all she had to do was talk to Gates. She was almost certain that she would approve the time off. She also needed to talk with her doctor about the tour and make sure it was going to be okay for her to spend the time in a RV.

Walking into Gates' office the next morning, Kate had butterflies rolling inside her stomach and she knew that it wasn't because of the babies. She was nervous. She was sure that she could get the time off, but it didn't make her any less nervous.

She waited for Gates to get off the phone. She chewed on her bottom lip and looked around the office. Kate had never noticed how pictures of her family dotted her desk. She smiled and wondered if this was what her desk would look like in a few years. She already had a picture of Castle and Alexis, but she couldn't wait to add more pictures to her collection. She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear Gates ask, "What can I do for you Detective?"

Kate heard her clear her throat and ask, "Detective?"

Kate shook her head, "I need to go on maternity leave early. Next week if possible."

Gates narrowed her eyes and asked, "Why the sudden urgency Detective Beckett?"

Kate told her about the book tour and the fact that she wanted to go with Castle. She was surprised when Gates nodded, "I will grant the time off. You will be missed around here, but family time is important Beckett. Just do me one favor?"

"Anything."

"Tell your husband that he had better take good care of you. If anything happens to you or those babies you are carrying I will personally hunt him down and shoot him."

Kate smiled brightly and nodded, "I will tell him. Although I don't think there is a danger of anything happening to us."

Gates nodded and waved for her to leave. She smiled and shook her head. Her best Detective had it bad and she was glad that she was going to take time for herself and her family. Family was important. Sometimes more important than working all kinds of crazy hours. She smiled once again and went back to her paperwork.

Kate got home late that evening and smiled when she saw the table had been set with candles and their good china. She saw Castle cooking in the kitchen. He was singing at the top of his lungs and she laughed as she walked behind him and said, "You're in a good mood."

She could tell that he hadn't known she was home. He startled and said, "Ahhh! You scared me!"

Kate laughed, "Obviously. What's the occasion?"

He smiled at her brightly, "Paula agreed with all of my conditions. She actually said that she was glad you agreed to come along with me. She said that I will be less distracted with you along. Otherwise I would be worrying about you and wanting to go home every chance I got. Which just shows you how well she knows me. Because I would definitely be thinking about you. And looking for ways to get back home to you."

She put her hands around his neck and pulled him down towards her for a deep kiss. Then, she whispered, "I love you Richard Castle."

"And I love you Kate Castle."

She smiled and they kissed again and only broke apart when her stomach started making noises. Signaling that she was hungry. She laughed and he pulled her towards the dining room. She would be glad once the babies were born. It seemed like she was hungry all the time lately.

During dinner they talked about the upcoming book tour. He could tell that Kate was excited about going along with him. What she didn't know was that while they were gone he had arranged with Alexis and his mother. They were going to let the painters in. When they were shopping for baby furniture one day, she'd mentioned decorating the babies room. Kate had fallen in love with a jungle scene. So, he had called his interior decorator and arranged for them to have it done by the time they got back from the book tour.

After dinner, he cleared the dishes and then told her, "Don't forget. You need a dress for the launch party next week."

Kate groaned, "I wonder if I can skip it. I look like a whale."

"You're pregnant with my babies. You look beautiful."

"I look horrible and no matter what dress I pick, it won't help."

"I happen to disagree with you. And if anyone says anything different I will punch them in the mouth."

Kate put her hand over her heart and whispered dramatically, "My hero."

Castle bowed and told her, "All for the woman I love."

"You do love me. Don't you?"

Castle looked at her and smiled, "Always. Never doubt that for a single second. You are my love and my life. You and our children are the most important thing to me. I could lose everything I own and as long as I still have you, I'm a happy man."

They kissed softly and Kate led her to their bedroom. He made love to her all night long and early into the morning. Before he fell asleep he thought once again how lucky he was to be married to her...


	18. Chapter 18

On a good day Kate hated going shopping and dress shopping when you were nearly six and a half months pregnant was a nightmare. Every shop she went into was a disaster. They didn't cater to pregnant women. So, after nearly six hours of shopping, she went home that night in tears.

Castle had had a meeting at Black Pawn and got home late. He grabbed himself a sandwich and a beer. When he was done, he made his way to the bedroom. He undressed and then climbed into bed beside Kate.

He put his arm around her waist and rubbed it softly. He was soon rewarded with a tiny kick. He whispered to the room, "I don't think I will ever get tired of feeling that."

Kate pulled away from his touch and turned to face him. It was then that he realized that she had been crying. He turned on the light and asked, "What's wrong?"

Kate shrugged, "Nothing."

"Something's wrong. I can tell that you're upset."

Kate sighed and swallowed hard, "Maybe you can get someone else to go to the launch party. Instead of me I mean."

Castle scrunched up his forehead and looked down at her, "Why? I know you don't like these, but..."

"It's not that. I spent six hours looking for a dress. I looked everywhere and no one carries formal evening gowns for pregnant women."

"You could dress in a bathrobe for all I care. I just want you there with me. I want to show you off to everyone. I want everyone to know that we are together and happy. So very happy together."

She gave him a look and shook her head, "I'm not going. It's a formal event. Everyone else is going to be dressed in nice clothes. And I can't even find one damn dress to wear. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want to sleep."

He nodded and held her while she drifted off to sleep. All the while, a plan was forming in his mind. There was a perk to being a best selling author. You had resources and people willing to do just about anything to make you happy. So, when he woke the following morning, he got on the phone with Paula and told her that he needed someone to help him with a little problem.

He knew that was Paula's element. She loved fashion and the chance to help out Castle and Kate was just too good to be true.

She promised him that she would have someone there by noon. Castle smiled and told her, "I love you Paula! You are the best!"

"And you better not forget it. You're just lucky that you are my favorite author right now."

"It also helps that I'm your best selling author right now."

"Whatever! You had better show up at the launch party early."

"I will be there with bells on."

"Yeah, yeah. You're just trying to butter me up."

"Is it working?"

Paula laughed, "Yeah. Just like it always does with you."

They talked for a few more minutes and finally hung up the phone. Castle made breakfast for Kate and brought it into the bedroom. His normally perky wife simply laid in bed. Pretending to be asleep, but he could tell that she was awake. Simply by watching her breathe. He knelt down beside the bed and moved her hair out of her face. He made a mental note to remember to have a hair stylist come to do her hair. He wanted her to feel like a princess and a day of pampering was the way to go about it.

He leaned down and kissed her until her eyes opened. He whispered against her lips, "I brought you breakfast."

Kate shook her head, "Not hungry." At the same time that her stomach started rumbling. She laughed softly, "Okay, maybe I am a little hungry."

Castle laughed, "I have all of your favorite things and what you don't eat, I will."

Kate sat up in bed and and started eating the food that he'd brought her. Once she started eating, she realized just how hungry she was. Before she knew it, all of the food on her plate was gone. She smiled at him softly, "Thank you. I guess I was hungrier than I realized."

"Want more?"

"I don't think I could eat another bite. Well, I probably could, but I would just keep getting fatter and fatter."

She sighed and looked away from him. He put a finger under her chin and turned her head towards him. He shook his head, "You are not fat. You are pregnant with our sons. To me, nothing could be sexier than that."

"You're just saying that because you have to."

"No, I'm saying it because it's true and if anyone says anything different they are going to have to face my wrath."

"You're not scary Castle. You're a big puppy dog."

He shook his head, "Usually, but no one messes with or hurts my family. Which is why I called in a few favors with Paula."

She was suspicious and asked, "What did you do?"

He put his hand up at her tone and smiled, "It's nothing bad. I promise. I just told her about the dress dilemma. She's going to have a designer come to the loft to fit you for a dress."

"Why did you tell her of all people?"

"It's kind of what she does and she's good at it. It's her job to make sure I'm happy. And making you happy makes me happy. So..."

Kate decided that she couldn't fault his logic. She laughed and said, "Fine, but it had better be one hell of a dress. Besides, I don't think Paula likes me very much."

"Paula doesn't like anyone very much."

"She likes you."

"That's just because I make money for her. If I stopped, she wouldn't like me."

Kate laughed and snuggled closer to Castle. She felt like she couldn't get close enough to him. She wanted to be around him constantly. She craved his presence in her life. Maybe now than before she became pregnant. She wasn't sure what it was, but she was sure that she liked it. She had never felt more connected with another person in her life. She wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that she was carrying his children. If she had to guess, that's was exactly what was happening. Because if she had been like this before she was pregnant, she would have thought herself to be clingy and that was the exact opposite of who she was. She was a strong independent woman. But all of her independence had gone out of the window. She wanted him close and if he was out of her sight for more than a minute, she would go search for him. She supposed that she was pathetic, but it just felt right and she didn't want to change it for the world.

She let out a sigh of contentment when Castle put his arm around her and pulled her closer and then he kissed the top of her head. God how she loved this man. He had come to mean the world to her. She never would have guessed that she would fall in love with him. He was the opposite of every other man she had ever dated. He made her laugh when she wanted to cry. He made her see that the world could be a better place. Sure, he still acted like a nine year old kid, but that only added to his charm. Heaven knows she would never tell him that though. She would never live it down.

She could have laid there in bed with him all day, but the doorbell rang at noon. Castle smiled and told her, "That would be the designer. Are you ready?"

"No, but I suppose I don't have much of a choice. Do I?"

Castle shook his head and planted a kiss on her lips, "Sorry my dear, but you need a fabulous dress and this is the best way."

Kate smiled and let him pull her out of the bed. She pulled on her robe as he went to answer the door. She felt huge and doubted that anyone could make her look worthy of Castle, much less make her feel like anything other than a beached whale.

What she couldn't have counted on was that Paula had called the number one designer in the country and told him that she needed her best author's wife to look beautiful. She'd explained the situation and was assured that Kate would look nothing less that spectacular for the book launch party. He would stake his reputation on it...


	19. Chapter 19

_**Just a short filler chapter before the drama begins...**_

When Richard and Kate walked into the living room, he was immediately grabbed and pulled into a hug. He finally heard, "Richard! It's wonderful to see you again!"

"It's wonderful to see you also Donna. Thank you for coming on such short notice."

"Anything for you Richard dear! Paula told me about your dilemma. You have a launch party and your beautiful wife has nothing to wear."

"I do hope you can help her. I would hate to show up with an off the shelf dress."

Donna help up her hand, "Nonsense! Only the best for you and your wife." The designer turned to Kate and said, "You look lovely my dear! How about we leave Richard out here with his agent and we can go talk about the kind of dress you want."

Kate nodded and Donna took her by the hand and led her towards the bedroom. Her assistants followed close behind. Each holding several garment bags.

Once they were out of the room, Castle turned to Paula and whispered, "Donna Karan? You got Donna Karan to come to my loft? How on earth did you manage that?"

Paula waved her hands in the air, "I told you. I have connections. I just happened to mention that Kate needed a dress to wear to your launch party. Donna knows that the press will be out in full and I don't have to tell you what that means for her sales."

Castle walked over and hugged her. "I love you Paula. Have I told you that lately?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. She told him, "Just remember that when I'm hounding you for your next manuscript."

Castle nodded and waited nervously for Kate to reappear. He wasn't disappointed when he saw her. She walked out of the room wearing a floor length gown. It was a light lavender color and it wasn't form fitting and it showed off her baby bump perfectly.

Paula laughed when she saw the look on Castle's face. She put a finger under his jaw and pushed it closed and said, "I'm surprised you didn't start drooling."

"She's...wow..."

"Yeah. She's going to knock them dead."

Castle finally stood up and walked over to her. He whispered, "You look absolutely beautiful. I..."

He didn't say anything else. He couldn't. He leaned forward and kissed her softly.

From somewhere in the distance, Castle heard Donna say, "I think he likes it."

Paula laughed, "I would say so. I've never seen him practically speechless before."

Castle watched as Kate walked back into the bedroom. She paused in the doorway and turned to face him and he saw her standing sideways. He had never seen a more beautiful woman in his life. He'd dated countless women. Women that, before Kate, he had thought were beautiful. However, none of them could hold a candle to the woman standing in the doorway. Besides Alexis, she was the best thing that had even happened to him. When she walked into that book launch party all those years ago, he couldn't have known how she was going to change his life. She made him a better man.

He swallowed hard and barely heard Donna and Paula talking. He was transfixed by the sight of her. Not stopping to look at Paula or Donna, he made his way back to their bedroom. He shut the door quietly and slid behind her. He let his chin rest on her shoulder and he nibbled on her ear. He heard her moan softly, "Do you have any idea how incredible you look in this dress?"

She laughed harshly, "It was the best of them. All the others made me look too fat or too short. Donna says that they can have it done in time for the launch party." She looked in the mirror, "Do you really like it?"

Castle nodded, "I love it. You look..."

She watched as the man that she loved with all of her heart and soul closed his eyes. She felt his hands on her stomach and his warm breath on her ear. She could spend the rest of her life standing here like this. Being this close to him. Looking up, she saw the love in his eyes. It was so pure and so raw that it nearly brought her to tears. She turned her head a bit and whispered, "You really do love me. Don't you?"

Castle didn't trust himself to speak. His eyes were filled with unshed tears. He simply nodded and kissed her on the cheek. He finally managed to pull himself together enough to whisper, "I do love you Kate. I would die without you. You make my world a better place simply by being in it. Simply by loving me."

She looked straight ahead and could tell that he was telling her the truth. She could see it in his eyes and in the way that he held her close to him. She felt treasured. She felt safe and protected. She felt as if the outside world was a million miles away and it was simply the two of them. Safe inside the four walls of their home.

Their peaceful moment was broken when Donna cleared her throat and said, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but if we are going to have the dress ready on time, I need to get it back to my shop right away."

Castle didn't want to let her go. He wanted to hold her like this forever, but he finally let her out of his arms. She nodded and slipped into the bathroom to change. Castle walked over and waited. Finally the door opened wide enough so that Kate could hand him the dress. Which he then handed to Donna. He winked at her and said, "Thank you."

She waved her hand in the air and told him, "Anytime! Just remember to call me if you should ever need a dress in the future."

Castle smiled and hugged her as she left. He smiled at Paula, "Thank you."

She nodded and waved goodbye also. Leaving Castle alone with the woman he loved...


	20. Chapter 20

_**I want to thank each and every one of you that have favorited this story. I especially want to thank each and every one of you that have taken the time to leave a review. Before I started writing, I never knew how important they were. They encourage me and make me want to write more.**_

The morning of the launch party Kate woke after a wonderful night's sleep. She smiled when she turned to look at the man she loved. He was laying on his stomach and had managed to get himself tangled in the sheets. He had his head buried under the pillow. She smiled and reached over and tickled his side. He sprang out of bed and said, "That's not nice!"

Kate couldn't stop laughing at the sight of him. He had his hands in a karate chop position and he looked like he was ready to fight someone.

Castle gave her a look, "Stop laughing at me."

Kate shook her head, "I can't... You..."

She started laughing and he just shot her a look, "What's so funny?"

"I...you..." More laughter and she finally took a big breath, "Boxers. So funny..."

Castle looked down at the boxers he was wearing and wondered why she found them so funny. He looked at her and decided that she was losing her mind, "What? They are Curious George. Alexis got them for me for Christmas last year."

Kate couldn't talk because she was laughing so hard. She finally buried her head in his pillow. He could still hear her laughing and he was glad that she was in a good mood. He should have been upset, but all he could do was smile at her and shake his head, "I'm going to get dressed and make breakfast."

He watched her nod into the pillow and heard her laughter die down. At least until she looked up at him again and saw his boxers. She started laughing and fell back down onto the bed. She didn't know what was wrong with her, but she couldn't stop laughing. She finally waved him away and he left the room saying, "I should force you to make your own breakfast for laughing at me."

She finally stopped laughing, "You wouldn't dare? I'm pregnant."

Castle smiled at her softly, "I wouldn't. You're lucky I love you."

Getting out of bed, Kate walked over to him and put her arms around his neck. She looked deep into his eyes. She felt her own eyes fill with tears. She was lucky that he loved her. There had been so many times he could have walked away from his feelings for her. Heaven knows she had given him enough reasons. Yet, he still loved her. He still wanted to be with her. She whispered to him softly, "I am lucky. So very lucky. Lucky that you didn't give up waiting for me. Lucky that you didn't walk away and find someone else. We are meant to be together and you knew that long before I did. Long before I could let my walls down and accept the feelings I had for you. I was afraid of losing my best friend. Afraid that if this went bad then I would have nothing. I couldn't see what was right in front of me all the time. I don't have to trade one for the other. I can have both. You're my best friend and so much more."

She leaned in and kissed him softly. However, she was so emotional and her tears wouldn't stop. She let out a sob and she felt his hold on her tighten. She held on tight and let her tears fall.

Castle wondered where her tears were coming from. He'd been teasing her about laughing at him. She went from laughter to tears in no time flat. He decided that he would much rather have her laughing at his silly boxers rather than crying because she felt bad about taking so long at moving their relationship forward. He smiled and pulled her face up out of his shirt and said, "As long as we are here now, that's all that matters. I love you and always will. I was kidding about you being lucky. I'm the lucky one. You had every reason to walk away from me after I left you at the beginning of the pregnancy. I..."

She shook her head, "No. Lets don't go back there. We are here now. I love you and you love me. That's all that matters."

Castle nodded, "That's all that matters."

They stood in the middle of their bedroom dancing to music that was unheard. They held each other and Kate closed her eyes. She breathed in the smell of him and kissed his chest. He smiled down at her, "I could stand like this forever. Just holding you."

He felt her nod and then he felt a kick against his stomach. He laughed and so did Kate. Then she whispered, "I'm hungry."

Castle kissed her and whispered, "I'll make breakfast."

She nodded and went into the bathroom. Apparently one of the babies had decided that her bladder would make a good punching bag. Once she was done, she dressed in a bathrobe and stood in front of the mirror. She turned to the side and she was amazed at how much bigger she looked since the night before. She knew that the babies were growing bigger and bigger, but it still never failed to amaze her that she had two tiny human beings growing inside her.

She let her hands rest on her stomach and she felt the babies moving around. She wasn't sure if they were turning somersaults or if they were just moving, but it felt strange and wonderful all at the same time. She looked down at her stomach and every so often she could see a tiny hand or foot poking out. She smiled every time. She loved being pregnant and she couldn't wait until the day that they would meet their sons. If asked, she would say that she didn't care who they looked like. Secretly however, she was hoping that their sons looked like Castle. She wasn't sure if she was ready to have two miniature Castle's running around the house. The big one she had now was more than enough to keep her busy, but she couldn't wait for her sons to make their arrival.

After getting dressed, Kate walked out into the kitchen and smiled when she saw what Castle had been up to. Lately, she had been craving all kinds of fresh fruit. So, he had made her a fruit salad. She picked at it with her fingers and closed her eyes when she bit into a juicy strawberry. She must have moaned, because she heard Castle laugh and say, "Tastes good huh?"

She simply nodded and went back to eating. Soon, all of the fruit was gone and Castle was placing a small plate of bacon and eggs in front of her. She didn't think she could eat anymore, but she surprised herself by finishing everything on the plate. She let out a huge burp that made Castle laugh and say, "I guess you enjoyed it."

She saw the laughter in his eyes and she smiled back, "You did good daddy."

Castle bowed and laughed, "I'm glad you enjoyed it mommy."

Seeing the tears that sprang to her eyes, Castle wondered what was wrong. He turned his head to the side and asked, "You okay?"

Kate nodded, "It's finally hitting me. I'm going to be a mom soon. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this."

"You'll do great. Alexis loves you."

"She's easy to love."

Castle nodded, "I don't know where I went right with her. She's nothing like me."

"That's true."

"Hey!"

Kate laughed and told him, "I need to figure out what I'm going to do with my hair. It's gotten long and very full since I've been pregnant."

Castle knew it was time to tell her about his other surprise. So, he took a deep breath and told her, "I've got it all taken care of. Paula arranged to have someone come and do your hair and makeup tonight."

"Castle! I can do it myself. I'm pregnant, not handicapped."

He held up his hands and told her, "I know that. I just want you to get pampered a bit. I've arranged for a manicure and a pedicure also. I want you to look and feel your best."

She looked at him for a fraction of a second. He wondered if she was going to tell him to cancel everything. That she could do it herself. He was relieved when she finally smiled and the she nodded and told him, "Fine. On one condition."

"Anything."

"You are going to get a pedicure also."

Kate laughed when he opened and closed his mouth. He looked like a fish struggling to breath. Finally, he smiled, "Okay."

If Kate was surprised at his answer, she didn't show it. She simply leaned forward and kissed him softly. Then she whispered, "I love you Richard Castle. I don't know what I've done to deserve you, but I'm so glad you love me."

"I once told you that you're extraordinary and I mean that. Even more now. You've given me everything I could want. Marriage and soon two beautiful twin sons."

She teased him softly, "Who says they are going to be beautiful? They could be ugly and wrinkled."

Castle looked horrified and recoiled back, "They can't be ugly. With two incredibly good looking parents they are going to be the best looking kids in their daycare."

"Daycare? You don't want to keep them home with you during the day?"

He smiled, "I do, but that would mean I wouldn't be able to come to work with you."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Ha ha. Very funny Mrs. Castle. Don't quit your day job."

"Never Mister Castle." She walked into his arms and pulled his head down and kissed him softly. Then she whispered, "I love you. I know I've said it a million times, but I can't stop."

"I don't mind. I never get tired of hearing those three little words. So simple, but so very powerful. Say it again."

Kate smiled brightly and whispered, "I love you. Forever and always..."

Castle leaned down and kissed her again. She wouldn't ever get tired of the kisses that he gave her when she needed them to most. In the coming days she would find herself missing those kisses. Because unknown to either of them, fate was working it's cruel twist and it would leave him fighting for his life. Fighting to come back to the family that loved him and needed him more than anything in the world...


	21. Chapter 21

_**I want to thank each and every one of you that have favorited this story. I especially want to thank each and every one of you that have taken the time to leave a review. Before I started writing, I never knew how important they were. They encourage me and make me want to write more.**_

_**That being said, I'm not sure how happy I am with this chapter. I wrote at least 5 drafts before I was happy and not sure if it's any good.**_

They arrived at the book launch party shortly after eight that night. Castle thought that Kate had never looked more beautiful. Her hair had been cut and done in a braid. It was put in a bun on the top of her head. There were a few tendrils that had escaped, but Castle thought that it only added to the effect.

When she had walked into the living room that night, he had to catch his breath. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He had been rendered speechless. She had smiled nervously at him and asked, "Well, what do you think?"

It had taken him a few seconds to answer her, but when he did he managed to croak out, "You are absolutely stunning."

Kate had blushed and walked over to him, kissed him and asked, "Are you ready?"

He leaned down and brushed a kiss on her cheek and then whispered, "I want to stay home tonight. I want to take you back into the bedroom and make love to you all night long. God... Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

He let his lips nip at her ear and felt her shiver. If she hadn't spent forever getting ready, she would have kissed him and taken him back to their bedroom. Instead, Kate whispered, "Probably the same thing that you do to me. I love you Richard Castle."

Castle smiled, "And I love you Katherine Castle. Are you ready to leave?"

Kate nodded, "Better now than never."

He offered her his arm and she took it with a smile. They walked to the elevator and caught the elevator down to the bottom floor. There a limo was waiting for them. She gave him a look, "A limo? Really Castle?"

He shrugged and told her, "Paula."

Kate nodded as he helped her inside. She knew that he was required to make a grand entrance. Kate kept shaking her right leg as they drove. She was nervous and couldn't help it. Finally, Castle put a hand on her leg and whispered, "It will be fine. Just smile for the cameras. You will be fine."

She nodded and knew that he was right. She didn't like the spotlight, but she would do it for him.

All of their friends and family had already arrived. Lanie rushed over to her and smiled, "Your dress is amazing. I can't even tell you are pregnant."

Kate smiled, "Donna did an amazing job. Didn't she?"

Nodding, Lanie smiled at her best friend. Castle and Kate made their rounds and said hello to all the right people. Soon, it was time for Castle to do the obligatory book signing. He kissed her softly and said, "I'll see you in a little while."

Kate nodded, "I'm going to find Lanie and catch up with all the gossip from the precinct."

Castle smiled and she kissed him softly and went off in search of their friends. He smiled as Paula led him over to the signing area. That is where he spent the next three hours. Signing copy after copy of his latest book.

He went off in search of Kate and smiled when he was pointed to a back room. The hotel staff had grabbed a cot for her. Apparently she had been exhausted and his mother had insisted that she needed to lay down. He had woken her and led her to the limo. She smiled, "You took forever."

"Sorry. There were a lot more people than usual."

She smiled lazily and said, "That's a good thing."

He nodded and whispered, "It's a very good thing. I love you."

"Love you too."

"Are you ready to go home?"

Kate nodded and he led her to the front of the reception hall. All in all it had been a remarkable night. The critics loved the new book and they were projecting that the sales were going to be through the roof once again.

The bottom fell out of Kate's world when they were standing and waiting for the limo to pull up. Kate was standing off to the side talking with Lanie and Ryan. Castle noticed a man approaching him with a copy of his book. He was sure that they were going to ask him to sign it for them. However, instead of asking him to sign it, the person pulled out a small handgun.

Castle asked him, "What do you want?"

"I want Kate. You don't deserve her. She loves me."

Before he could react, the gun was pointed at him. Castle simply reacted and reached out to grab the gun. Castle struggled with him and the gun went off striking him in the stomach. The last thing he remembered was that he hoped someone could stop him before he tried to hurt Kate.

Kate turned around when she heard the first shot. She saw someone struggling with Castle, but she couldn't move fast enough to stop the scene playing out in front of her. She heard two more shots and then watched as her husband fell to the ground. She saw the bright red stain spreading on his white shirt. She ran to him and tried to stop the bleeding. Ryan had taken off after the suspect while Lanie called for an ambulance.

Lanie tried to push Kate aside, but her best friend refused to move. Lanie finally told her, "Let me do this."

"I can't. I can't lose him."

"I know. And I won't let you down. Please sweetie?"

Kate finally nodded and moved away from her husband. She felt like she was watching a scene in a really bad movie. A movie that she wished she could rewind and change. It felt like everything was in slow motion. She watched as the ambulance pulled up and the paramedics jumped out and rushed to help her husband.

She felt the tears streaming down her face. She saw Ryan standing next to her and asked, "Did you get the man?"

Ryan nodded, "He killed himself. Saw me running after him and put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger."

All she could thing was that she was glad the man was dead. She walked towards the ambulance and tried to get in, but Lanie stopped her, "You need to let me go with him."

Kate shook her head, "I need to be with him Lanie. Please?"

Lanie was adamant, "Go with Ryan sweetie. I will take good care of him."

Kate finally nodded and watched as her friend climbed into the ambulance. She watched as the doors shut behind her. She watched as the ambulance sped off for the hospital. It took every ounce of strength Kate had to keep standing. Watching half of her heart leave in that ambulance nearly killed her.

She remembered all of the times and all of the cases they had worked together. He was supposed to put his life in danger then. Not at a book signing. This was his safe place. His career wasn't supposed to put him in danger. These kind of events were supposed to be there safe place. If someone would attack him here, were they safe anywhere anymore?

Kate felt someone's hand on her shoulder and she turned to see Ryan standing there. He smiled sadly and told her, "I will take you to the hospital."

She could only nod and let him lead her to his car. It felt as if she was in some kind of bad dream. If she was, she hoped that she would wake up soon. Even though she knew they were getting closer to the hospital, it seemed like it was taking forever.

When they pulled up to the emergency room entrance, Kate threw open the door and ran inside. She was thankful that she was wearing flats. She reached the information desk and asked, "Richard Castle?"

The woman looked at her, "And you are?"

"His wife."

The woman nodded, but after seeing the look on her face, she sensed that Kate was very distraught. She smiled at Kate and told her, "He was just brought in. They rushed him into surgery. I will let the doctor know you are in the waiting room."

It was then that the nurse noticed that Kate was pregnant. There was no way she was going to let Kate sit in the hard plastic chairs. So, she motioned for Kate to follow her. She led her to a private waiting room. There was a nice recliner that Kate could use. Kate nodded and told her, "Thank you."

The nurse nodded softly and left the room. Kate sat in the waiting room and closed her eyes. She wondered if this was going to be the day that she had to say goodbye to the man that she loved. She wondered if her sons were going to lose their father. She didn't even try to stop crying. She simply let the tears fall.

She didn't even open her eyes when she heard the door open. She heard a muffled sob and then, "Kate..."

Kate opened her eyes and saw Alexis standing there. She could tell that her stepdaughter had been crying. Kate went to stand, but Alexis shook her head and rushed over to hug her. Then she asked, "What happened?"

Kate wiped her eyes and then whispered, "I'm not sure yet. I was talking with Lanie and the next thing I knew I heard shots. Then I saw your dad falling to the ground. I... I should have been able to stop him. If only I had been closer. It's all my fault."

Alexis wanted to blame someone, but she knew that it wasn't Kate's fault. She shook her head, "It's not your fault Kate."

Kate looked at Alexis and could tell that she was being honest with her. There was no anger or blame in the young girls eyes. Simply fear and heartache. She was afraid for her father.

Then Kate heard, "Exactly. Richard would give up his life for you Kate."

Kate looked up and saw Martha. She got up and Martha held her arms out. Kate walked towards her and the two women embraced and cried together. His wife and his mother crying for the man they bother loved. Each silently praying that they were strong enough to help the other.

After awhile, Alexis joined them and they cried together.

It seemed like days before the door to the room opened. Kate looked up and saw a doctor standing there. There was a grim look on his face and for a split second Kate thought the worst. She thought that he had died. "Mrs Castle?"

Kate nodded, "Yes."

"I have news. Some is good and some not so good."

"Okay."

"He was shot in the stomach and there was a lot of damage from the bullets. Internal bleeding and the spleen was practically destroyed. The liver was thankfully spared. He lost a lot of blood."

Kate swallowed hard and nodded and the doctor continued, "He's very lucky to be alive. We are going to watch him closely for the next few days. He is being heavily sedated so that he can heal."

Kate nodded and then asked, "Can we see him?"

"I will allow all of you to see him. If you will follow me I will take you to him." Before he

The three women followed the doctor into Castle's room. Even though Kate had a feeling what to expect, she was still shocked by his appearance. He was pale and he had so many wires attached to him, she was afraid to touch him. He was wearing an oxygen mask. Kate let out a small sob and Martha took her hand and squeezed. Kate tried to smile, but she knew that she came up short. She couldn't smile when the man that she loved was in here. Fighting for his life.

She heard Martha and Alexis talking to him, but it was as if she was in a vacuum. She could only stare at her husband. Hoping that maybe this was some kind of mistake. The other women finished and she found herself alone with him. Looking down at the man that she loved, she couldn't find the words to say. He was the master of words. So, she did the only thing she knew to do, she leaned down and whispered to him, "I love you Rick."

Then she managed to take his hand for a brief moment and she placed it on her stomach. She pushed in and she wasn't disappointed when she felt a kick in reply. She whispered, "We are here waiting for you. We need you Castle. What I wouldn't give to hear you tell one of your bad jokes or some silly theory about what happened."

She wasn't sure what she had been hoping would happen. Maybe she hoped that he would smile and wake up. Maybe this would prove to be all a bad dream. Whatever she had been hoping for didn't happen. He was so quiet and that scared her more than all of the tubes and wires that were attached to him. She pulled over a chair and sat down. She held his hand and cried silently. Wishing for him to wake up. Hoping for a miracle.

She must have fell asleep because the next thing she knew she was being jerked awake by the sounds of alarms going off. Before she knew what was happening, there were doctor's filing into his room. She watched as they went to work on him. One of the doctor's told her, "We need you to leave now."

A nurse took her hand and led her back to the waiting room. She was terrified that her husband was going to die and that she wasn't going to be there to say goodbye. She knew that all she could do was wait and pray that he pulled through this.

She was talking with Alexis and Martha when the same nurse came back into the waiting room. She smiled at Kate and told them, "They are taking him back into surgery."

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head, "They aren't sure, but a preliminary ultrasound shows that he might be bleeding internally again. So, they are going to go in and check where it's coming from."

Kate could only nod as the nurse walked away. She hated this. She hated feeling so helpless. She hated not being able to help the man she loved. She heard a small knock on the door and Martha opened it. She saw Ryan and Esposito standing there. She asked them softly, "Do we know why?"

That was all she could say. Ryan nodded, "Apparently it was someone that was obsessed with you Beckett."

"Me? Why me?"

"Apparently he has followed you and your career for years. He became obsessed with you."

Kate felt her legs give out and she wondered if this was a dream. She wasn't anyone special. She was simply a detective. Apparently someone had taken an interest in her though. So, it was all her fault that the man she loved was in this hospital fighting for his life. She wondered if she would be able to forgive herself. Then, she wondered if he would forgive her. If he survived that is. She felt both frustration and grief.

Looking at Ryan, she whispered, "It's my fault. I need to get out of here and..."

She stood up, but only made it a few steps before she collapsed. Luckily Ryan caught her and called for a nurse. She called a doctor and they rushed her back. Leaving her family and friends wondering if this nightmare would ever end.


	22. Chapter 22

_**I want to thank each and every one of you that have favorited this story. I especially want to thank each and every one of you that have taken the time to leave a review. Before I started writing, I never knew how important they were. They encourage me and make me want to write more.**_

_**Okay, please read this all the way through. I'm a lover of angst. It drives my best friend crazy. I love a good romance, but sometimes angst is fun to write.**_

When Kate woke, she was in a hospital bed and she had monitors hooked up to her arm. In addition she had monitors hooked up to her stomach. She saw Martha asleep on the couch by the window and Alexis was curled up in a chair beside her. She tried to get up and the monitors started going off. Waking Alexis and Martha. Alexis was the first to speak, "Mom! You're awake!"

"W-what happened?"

Martha smiled softly, "Your blood pressure skyrocketed and you fainted. The doctors say that it was brought on by the stress of everything that's happened today."

"How long have I been out? Why the monitors?"

"You've been out for a little over two hours. And the monitors are just a precaution. They want to make sure you and the babies are okay."

It was then that Kate remembered what happened and she whispered, "Castle.. I need to get to him. I..."

Alexis put her hand down on her shoulder and whispered, "Please mom. Stay in bed."

Kate knew that she needed to be with her husband, but she knew that she couldn't risk the lives of their sons. She sighed and cried softly. She closed her eyes, "I can't lose him Martha. I..."

Martha took her hand and nodded. She knew how much Kate loved her son. She knew that losing him would destroy her. It would destroy all of them. She smiled softly at her daughter in law, "You won't. The doctors are doing everything they can to save him. I know that if he was here, he would want you to think of those babies first. You need to get better and then you can worry about him."

"It's my fault. He shouldn't be in danger because of me."

Martha shook her head, "I think it's safe to say that he would disagree. He loves you and he would risk anything to be with you. He would take a thousand bullets for you. He risks it all because he wants to spend every single moment he can with you. He never thought of quitting. Not once. He might have walked away a time or two, but he could never stay away from you. He's loved you forever Kate."

Kate nodded and then closed her eyes. She wanted to be with him, but until her blood pressure was stabilized, she knew that her place was here. Making sure that their babies stayed put until they were strong enough to survive on their own.

It was nearly three hours later when Castle's doctors came to talk to them. The doctor smiled and told them, "Well, it seems that there was a very small bleed inside his stomach. It caused some blood to pool inside him abdomen. We were able to repair it successfully."

Kate felt a sense of relief wash over her. She closed her eyes and she felt as if she was able to breath again. She smiled softly and said, "Thank you. For everything."

The doctor smiled and nodded, "Anytime. Now, lets see how your blood pressure is."

After a few moments, the doctor smiled and told her, "I will let you out of bed if you take it easy. No stress. It's bad for you and for those babies you're carrying."

Kate nearly laughed when he said no stress. The man she loved was fighting for his life. How was that not stressful? However, she didn't think the doctor would appreciate her questions. So, she nodded, "I will. Thank you doctor."

"I will have the nurses come in and unhook you. Remember, no stress."

Kate nodded, "I know."

When the nurse came in and unhooked her, she smiled and told her, "I don't want to see you in here again. Got it?"

Kate smiled, "Yes. I'm sorry to be a bother."

The nurse held up her hands and smiled, "Not a bother. You really scared your family though. Your daughter was nearly hysterical. She kept saying that she couldn't lose both of her parents. And her brothers."

Kate saw how Alexis blushed and tried to avoid her eyes. Kate could tell that she was embarrassed and she chose to not make a big deal out of it. She was anxious to see Castle, but she knew that she had to take it easy. When the nurse left, Kate saw that Alexis was trying to avoid her eyes. Kate smiled, "You aren't going to lose us. Either of us."

Alexis looked at her, "You collapsed and dad is fighting for his life. What was I supposed to think? You, dad and Grams are all the family I have left. And I love my brother already. Yes, I was upset when I first found out, but I can't wait to meet them. To hold them for the first time. I'm not ready to lose them yet. So, I freaked out and I can't stop crying."

Kate walked forward and took her in her arms. She hugged her tightly while she cried. She took her hand and they walked to Castle's room together. Kate walked into Castle's room. He still looked pale, but she was determined to be strong for him. She took a deep breath and then leaned over and kissed him of the forehead. Then whispered, "We love you. All of us."

Kate motioned for Alexis to come closer. At first she hesitated, but after a moment, she walked closer to her dad and whispered, "I love you dad. W-we need you to wake up."

Alexis smiled at Kate and then they sat down and talked to each other. They talked about Alexis' college courses. About the babies. About the upcoming book tour. They talked about everything and anything. Alexis noticed that Kate was getting sleepy. After awhile, she fell asleep and Alexis smiled. She grabbed a pillow and blanket from the couch and let the recliner back. She covered Kate up and then walked over to the window and stared out into the darkness. She cried silently and the tears rolled down her cheeks.

Martha hugged her from behind and then whispered, "Your dad's a fighter. He will get better. And then he will be annoying us again soon."

Alexis said nothing. She wished that she could believe her, but she was scared. Scared of losing the most important man in her life.

The doctors took Castle off of the drugs they were using to sedate him three days after the shooting. Kate wasn't sure what she was expecting. Maybe she was expecting him to wake up and start talking to them. It didn't work out that way however. He remained unconscious. He was breathing on his own and the wires were slowly taken away one by one. There was absolutely no reason for him not waking up.

Kate kept hoping that he would wake up. She stayed by his bedside for the next three days. The only time she left was to eat. She slept in the bed that the nurses had brought in for her. At least that was where she tried to sleep. She found herself tossing and turning. Finally, she sighed and threw the covers off.

She sat up in the bed and looked over at her still sleeping husband. Images of him were running through her mind. She thought about all the times he made her mad. All the times that he made her smile. In the beginning, she wanted him gone, but now she wanted him here with her. Wanted him to sit up in that bed and smile at her. All she wanted was him. She wanted to sleep in the same bed with him again. Wanted to feel his arms around her. His hands resting on her stomach feeling their babies move inside her. God, she just wanted to see him open his eyes and look at her the way that made her heart flutter and brought a smile to her face.

She looked at him and then walked over to sit beside his bed. She whispered softly, "I miss hearing your voice Castle. I love you so much."

She kissed him on the forehead. Then she walked back to her bed and tried to get some sleep. She tossed and turned until nearly four in the morning. When she finally managed to fall asleep, it was a restless sleep.

When she woke, she heard all kinds of sirens going off. She looked over at Castle and saw him thrashing about in his bed. She watched from her bed and felt the tears fall. She prayed that he would make it and that the doctors would be able to save him. They worked on him for nearly ten minutes, but weren't able to bring him back. She saw one of the doctors shake his head and then the nurse covered him with a sheet. Kate shook her head and whispered, "No..."

She watched as the father of her unborn sons and the man that she loved more than life itself was pronounced dead. All these years she had thought that her moms murder was the worst moment of her life. And while it was tragic, it was nothing like this. This was tearing her heart out. She couldn't move. Couldn't breath. All she could do was stare at the cold white sheet covering the man that she loved.

The next week went by in a blur. Kate's dad made all of the arrangements for Castle's funeral. Kate couldn't do it. Neither could Martha. And Alexis was a wreck. Jim Beckett was trying to remain strong for his daughter and her family. However, he had grown to love Richard Castle. He made a point of protecting his daughter and for that he would be grateful to him.

Richard Castle was buried on a cold and rainy Monday morning. Ryan had to hold her back as they lowered his casket into the ground. Then they started throwing the dirt in and she lost it. She crumbled to the ground. Her tears mixing with the rain falling down around her.

Kate was falling apart. She didn't want to live anymore. Without Castle, nothing mattered anymore. Her days were spent in a daze. She ate. She slept and she read his books. She went through the motions of living a life that didn't include Richard Castle.

At first, Alexis had tried coming around, but after awhile, she stopped. Martha tried to look after her, but it was no use. Nothing could bring her out of the deep, dark depression that she had fallen into. She would visit his grave nearly every single day. She would walk there. No matter the weather. She would walk there to talk to her dead husband.

Their sons were born exactly one month after their father died. Unfortunately they were both stillborn. So, Kate had to bury her sons five weeks after their father. That was when she lost all will to live. The gunman had taken everything that meant anything to her. So, on the one year anniversary of Castle's death, she found herself at his grave once again. She had already written all of her goodbye letters. They were addressed to all the important people in her life. She couldn't go on without Castle or her babies.

She knelt in front of his grave and wiped off the leaves that had gathered there. She kissed her fingers and then placed them on her husband's grave stone. She took out her gun and pulled the trigger.

Kate bolted up from the hospital bed breathing hard. She looked around and saw Castle still asleep in his bed. She looked down at her stomach and she was still pregnant. A nightmare. It was all a nightmare. She got out of bed and put her head on chest. She just wanted to hear his heart beating again. It was strong and steady.

She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there when she felt a hand on her head. She thought it was Alexis or Martha, but she heard a weak voice say, "You should be resting..."

She shot up and looked at the man she loved. She had tears in her eyes and whispered, "You're awake."

Kate saw the smile that she had missed so much light up his face and he said, "Yeah. It takes more than a bullet to stop me."

She rolled her eyes and moved out of the way so the doctors could check him over. She hadn't wanted to let go of his hand. She hadn't wanted to break the connection with him, but he kept looking at her and he smiled the entire time. And somehow she knew that he was going to be okay. And she was fine with that. To her, there was nothing better than the smile that she had missed so much staying on his face as he looked at her...

_**Now you didn't think that I would kill him or the babies did you? This story will definitely have a happy ending. All of my stories do. I promise you that. Thank you for giving me a chance and reading this story.**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**I want to thank each and every one of you that have favorited this story. I especially want to thank each and every one of you that have taken the time to leave a review. Before I started writing, I never knew how important they were. They encourage me and make me want to write more.**_

Kate didn't leave his side for more than five minutes after he woke. She was still shaken by the dream that she'd had. It had seemed so real. She didn't want to leave his side. Not even to eat. It got so bad that Martha had to force her to leave his bedside to even eat.

At first, Kate had protested, "I am fine."

Martha shook her head, "You need to eat my dear. Nothing is going to happen to Richard if you leave his side for thirty minutes."

"I..."

Martha wasn't sure what had happened to her daughter in law, but something had scared her. And Kate did not scare easily. Martha finally shook her head, "You are coming with me." She saw the look of fear in her eyes. So, she said, "Alexis will stay here with him. If anything happens she will call us. You need food."

Kate realized that Martha wasn't going to give in. So, she nodded and went down to the cafeteria with her. Sitting at the table as they ate their food, Martha saw an almost haunted look in Kate's eyes. The younger woman kept looking like she was ready to bolt for the door at any moment. She finally asked, "What happened last night?"

Kate picked at her food for a minute. Then she sighed, "I had a dream. Although it was more like a nightmare. Maybe even a night terror." She had to look away from Martha for a moment. She swallowed heard and then continued, "He died Martha. He was there one minute and the next...he was gone."

"Oh no..."

Kate held up her hand and whispered, "There's more. I fell apart and the babies were born. They were stillborn. So I buried my husband and sons in less than a month. I lost them all Martha. I..."

Kate broke down into tears. She couldn't tell her about the rest of the dream. She couldn't speak. Hell, she could barely breathe. All she could do was wipe at the tears that seemed to have no end.

Martha reached across the table and took her hand, "Richard is going to be fine my dear and before you know it, he will be up and be back to his normal charming self."

Kate nodded, "I know and I never thought I would say this, but I miss having him follow me everywhere. It took us so long to find each other and I can't imagine my life without him."

Martha simply smiled at the woman sitting across from her. She thought that they made a wonderful couple. She had always thought that they belonged together. She was finally glad that they got their act together.

They finished eating and hurried back to Castle's room. When they got there, Kate's heart nearly stopped. His bed was empty and Alexis was gone. Kate started hyperventilating and everything seemed to move in slow motion. Martha barely managed to lead her to a chair before her legs gave out.

Kate whispered, "He's gone. I left and he's gone."

Martha patted her shoulder softly, "You wait here. I will get the nurse."

Kate could only nod as she stared at his now empty bed. She felt the tears threatening to fall. She should have stayed here with him. A sob escaped her right before she heard, "Kate. What's wrong?"

Her head shot up and she smiled a very shaky smile when she saw Castle sitting in a wheelchair, "Where were you?"

Alexis looked at her, "They took him for some x-rays. I went with him. What's wrong?"

Kate shook her head, "Nothing..."

Castle gave her a sideways look and she knew that he didn't believe her, but she couldn't tell him the real reason for her panicked feelings. She couldn't tell him that she was afraid that if she left, she would find that this was a dream and that her dream was, in fact, reality.

Her dream had long lasting and unexpected consequences. First and foremost, she was barely sleeping. She had tried to, but every time she closed her eyes, she would see the image of Castle's coffin being lowered into the ground and she would sit upright and simply look at him. Fearing that if she closed her eyes, the nightmare would return. Or worse, become reality. So, she would sit up and watch him as he slept. When she did sleep, it was only for a few hours at a time and it was simply because she couldn't keep her eyes open. She was beyond exhausted, but her fear kept her awake.

She'd had done a good job of hiding her exhaustion from Castle. At least until he was released from the hospital. He made a very quick recovery and was released two weeks after he was shot. Kate could tell that the walk from the car to the loft had exhausted him. So, she led him to their bedroom so he could take a nap. She turned to leave, but he smiled at her, "Lay with me."

She couldn't think of a good reason not to, so she nodded and climbed into bed beside him. She laid her head on his chest and she felt him kiss her head. Before she knew it, she was asleep. The next thing she knew, she was having the same recurring nightmare. Castle was gone and so were their babies.

Castle woke from his light sleep to hear Kate whispering softly, "No... Please no..."

She had pulled away from him and he could see her face clearly in the light. He wasn't sure what she was dreaming, but he could see that the dream was upsetting her. He could see tear tracks on her face and it was obvious that she was still crying.

He shook her softly and whispered, "Kate. Wake up sweetheart."

Instead of opening her eyes, Kate sat straight up in bed and practically screamed out, "No!"

He watched as she climbed out of bed and walked around the room hugging herself. Then he watched as she put her hands on her stomach and closed her eyes. Then she went to stand in front of the mirror and she put her hands on the dresser. It was obvious the dream had frightened her.

He walked behind her and put his hands on her stomach. He felt her hands cover his for a brief moment. Then, she took her hand off of his and he saw her eyes open and look at him in the mirror. He saw the pain and hurt there. He whispered again, "Kate."

She either didn't hear him or she was still thinking she was dreaming, because instead of responding to him, he watched disbelief as she raised her fists and hit the mirror. Shattering it into a thousand pieces. Then he watched as she started sobbing again.

She pulled out of his grip and he asked, "Kate! What are you doing?"

She shook her head and whispered, "No. What kind of cruel trick..."

Castle watched as she turned and walked out of their bedroom. He looked for any signs that she had cut her feet. Not seeing any, he walked out into the living room. He saw her sitting on the couch. She was looking at her hands and it was then that he noticed the blood dripping onto the floor.

He went into the kitchen and grabbed the first aid kit. Then, he walked over and knelt in front of her and tried to take her hands. She pulled away from him and whispered, "Leave me alone. Why can't you just leave me alone. Isn't it enough that you left me. Why can't you leave me alone and just go away? Why do you have to torment me with your memory?"

He looked at her tear stained face and noticed that she had her eyes closed. He let his hand cup her cheek and he was surprised when she tried to move out of his reach. He whispered, "Kate..."

Kate shook her head and whispered, "It's not real. You aren't here."

"I am sweetheart. Open your eyes."

"No. It hurts too much. I don't want to lose you again. I love you."

Castle wondered what had happened to her. She looked absolutely terrified. He wasn't sure what had happened, but whatever it was, it had hurt her badly. He needed to check her hands, but he needed to go slowly. So, he whispered, "You aren't going to lose me. I'm right here. Give me your hand. Please."

He heard her try to muffle a sob, but when he reached out to take her hand again, she didn't pull away, but she didn't open her eyes. Her hand ran over his chin and he heard her sob softly. He wondered what had scared her so much. She had seemed fine when they had laid down together. Now however, she looked terrified of something.

Kate had the same dream again. It was always the same. She lost him and their babies. When she woke and saw him laying in their bed, she was sure that she was still dreaming somehow. Then she heard his voice and she was sure that it was his ghost. Coming back to torment her. The worst part was that she could feel his hands on her stomach. She could hear his voice. It was almost as if he had never left her.

She broke the mirror in a desperate attempt to get his presence to go away. She didn't feel the glass as it cut her. She was numb to anything but the terrible heartache she felt. She walked out of their room hoping to escape the pain. When he followed her however, she was certain that this figment of her imagination was out to punish her.

Sitting in their living room, hearing his voice was like a balm on her bruised and battered heart. She knew that she should get out of the loft. Go somewhere that his memory wasn't all around her, but even having him here for a brief moment was better than nothing at all.

She finally heard him whisper, "All done." When he raised her shirt enough to reveal her stomach and he kissed her so softly, she whimpered again. It was almost as if she had him back. He had always kissed her stomach. Every chance he got. Then, he whispered, "So damn beautiful. I can't wait to meet our sons."

She was sure that she was going crazy. Surely she was still dreaming. That was what she thought until she felt the responding kicks against her stomach. Her eyes flew open and she whispered, "Castle?"

Kate looked down at him and she saw the smile on his face. She could also see a million questions in his eyes. She knew that she would have to explain her strange actions to him, but for now she just wanted to feel him close to her again. So, she whispered, "Take me to bed."

Castle nodded and helped her to her feet. He led her to their bedroom where he spent the next few hours making her feel whole again.

Afterwards, as they lay in bed together, he kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Do you want to talk about it?"

He heard her sigh and for a moment he thought that she was going to say no. However, when she started talking, he was shocked at what she told him. The horror that she had been dealing with these past weeks was something he could only imagine.

When she was done explaining the story, she kissed him softly and whispered, "I didn't want to sleep after that. I was afraid that I would wake up and you would be gone. And I would rather dream of you here with me for the rest of my life, rather than wake up and find that you are gone."

Kate wasn't a weak woman. She was the strongest woman that he knew, but he could tell that the dream had really shaken her. He kissed her softly, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here. The babies are here and we love you."

He felt her shake softly and he knew that she was still processing everything. Then he whispered, "You need to sleep."

"I can't. I..."

"You need sleep. It's not good for you or for the babies to go without sleep."

"I don't want to dream again. I..."

Castle kissed her softly and whispered, "I will hold you the entire time. Sleep. It's good for you."

Kate laughed, "You are pretty bossy you know."

"I've learned it from the best."

She felt her eyes growing heavier and she nodded and whispered, "Don't leave me Castle. Please?"

"Never."

He watched as she closed her eyes and he listened to her breathing. She finally fell asleep a few minutes later. And true to his word, he held her the entire time...


	24. Chapter 24

_**I want to thank each and every one of you that have favorited this story. I especially want to thank each and every one of you that have taken the time to leave a review. Before I started writing, I never knew how important they were. They encourage me and make me want to write more.**_

_**We are getting into a happy place in the story. The next few chapters will be very fluffy and happy.**_

Kate woke with a start the following morning and had to take a moment to look around the room. She had woken three times the night before and each time Castle had held her while she cried. Each time, he had assured her that he was there and that he wasn't going anywhere. He held her until she drifted back to sleep. In was the first truly good night's sleep she had had in weeks. She looked over at Castle and noticed that he had fallen asleep. He was such a good man. Sometimes she wondered what she had done to deserve a man like him.

She reached over and touched his lips with her fingers. She smiled when he jerked awake and he whispered, "I'm awake. Not sleeping."

She laughed softly, "It's okay Castle. I'm fine."

He nodded and asked, "Another nightmare?"

Kate shook her head, "No. I'm just hungry. I was going to see if we have any food."

"I'm going to make breakfast. Eggs and bacon?"

Shaking her head, "I'd just like some fruit. Watermelon and strawberries."

Castle smiled brightly, "Coming up! Anything else?"

Kate shook her head, "I need to tell you something. Something important."

Castle was worried for a moment. However, when he saw the smile on her face, she relaxed a little bit. Whatever she had to tell him, it couldn't be all bad. So, he smiled and asked, "What's wrong?"

Shaking her head Kate said, "Nothings wrong exactly. Well, I have a doctors appointment today. They need to do another ultrasound. To check on the babies."

"We can see them again?"

Kate laughed at the look of utter joy on Castle's face. She hadn't told him that this would be a 4D ultrasound. They would be much clearer that the earlier ones. She wanted it to be a surprise. So, she smiled and told him, "Yes. I can drive myself, but..."

He shook his head, "No. I want to. I can drive I mean. I know..."

She stopped him with a kiss and whispered, "I know. I need to get dressed and then we can eat and go."

She laughed as she watched him practically run to the kitchen. The smiled disappeared almost immediately when she saw the glass from the mirror in the trashcan in the bathroom. She looked down at her hands and saw the bandages for the first time. God, she had been a mess that morning. She didn't know what she would have done without him.

They arrived at the doctors office that morning and Kate signed in. And they waited for the nurse to call her name. When she did, Castle looked at her and she nodded and he pulled her to her feet.

After she was weighed in, they led her to the exam room. Kate was given a cover up and told to remove her clothes. Castle had smiled, wiggled his eyebrows and whispered, "I can help you with that."

Kate laughed and rolled her eyes, "Behave or I will make you wait out in the waiting room."

"You wouldn't dare?"

"Oh I would."

"I'll behave."

Kate laughed as she went into the little changing area to take off her clothes. Castle kept trying to sneak peeks, but she was undressed and in the cloth gown before he knew it. He looked at her and whispered, "Wow. That was quick."

Kate simply shrugged and then walked over to kiss him. They pulled apart when they heard the door open and the doctor walked in. He smiled at the couple, "Good morning. How have you been feeling?"

Castle smiled and told him, "I'm feeling good." The doctor chuckled and Kate sent a glare his way. He smiled at his wife, "But you meant Kate."

The doctor nodded and coughed to cover his laugh. Kate rolled her eyes and said, "I'm feeling good. The babies have been very active these last few days. I don't think they are sleeping much."

He nodded and told her, "That's typical. Although in the next few weeks you are going to notice less movement. They are going to run out of room to move much. You will still feel kicks, but not much moving."

Kate nodded and smiled. The doctor did a few routine exams and then he placed an instrument on Kate's stomach. Suddenly the room was filled with the sound of their babies heartbeats. Castle reached over and took her hand. He kissed it softly and she turned to look at him. He saw the tears in her eyes and he whispered, "I never get tired of hearing that. Our babies..."

Kate could only nod. She couldn't have talked if her life had depended on it. After the past few weeks of the emotional roller coaster, hearing the heartbeats of her babies made her realize that they were still there and still safe.

The doctor turned off the machine and the room was incredibly quiet. Castle whispered, "I love you Kate."

She nodded and smiled at him. Then, the doctor told her, "I'm going to bring out the ultrasound equipment. It's different than the other ones. It's a 4D ultrasound. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the picture quality."

Castle and Kate waited for him to set it up. They kissed softly and then heard the doctor clear his throat. He smiled when they looked at him. He then told them, "The babies look to be growing at a healthy rate. It looks like they are about thirteen inches long. And I would estimate that they weigh about one and a half pounds each."

Kate managed to ask, "Isn't that pretty small?"

"Not at all. Twins usually weigh between five and seven pounds when they are born. It looks like your sons are right on that track."

Kate nodded and the doctor took a few more measurements. Then he asked, "Do you want to see them?"

Kate and Castle both replied, "Yes!"

The doctor smiled and then he turned the screen towards the couple. He watched as they took in the sight of their sons. One of them were sucking his thumb. Kate reached out to touch the screen and whispered, "They are beautiful Castle. I.."

"I know... It's amazing..."

"I think they are going to look just like you."

"No way. Look at that cute nose. That's you all the way."

They stared at the screen for a little while longer, before the doctor said, "I have to turn it off now."

Castle and Kate simply nodded and then Castle stood up and whispered, "I love you."

Kate could only nod and the doctor cleaned her off and handed some pictures of the babies, "I want to see you again in a week."

"Okay."

"Take care Kate. You are doing wonderfully."

"Thank you."

"Yes, thank you."

"My pleasure. Until next week."

When the doctor left, Castle stood up and kissed her deeply right there in the middle of the exam room. At that moment he didn't care if anyone walked in on them. Seeing the babies that they had made together made him the happiest man on the face of the earth, "I love you Kate. So damn much. Thank you."

"What for?"

"For letting me be here with you. For letting me see our babies. For letting me be a daddy again."

Kate put her hand on his cheek. She loved this man and nothing would ever change that, "You are a wonderful father to Alexis. These babies are so lucky to have you for a father. Don't ever forget that. And don't let anyone tell you anything different. You are a wonderful man and I'm lucky to have you in my life."

Kate watched his eyes fill with tears and she could only smile softly at him. She heard a knock on the door and she whispered, "I'd better get dressed or else they are going to start charging me for this room by the hour."

Castle laughed and nodded. Then he heard his cell phone signal that he had a text message. He looked at it and smiled at the words that Alexis had texted him. It was 5 simple words: _**Operation Baby Shower Has Begun.**_

Now, all he had to do was keep Kate out for another hour or so and they would make this day perfect. The most perfect day of all...


	25. Chapter 25

Alexis had planned the baby shower weeks ago. She knew that twins came early, so she wanted to make sure they had plenty of time to shower Kate and the babies with all kinds of gifts from the family and friends.

She'd went out and bought all kinds of stuff for her brothers. Lots of clothes and toys. Then there were the decorations for the baby shower. She had to admit that she had went a little bit overboard, but this was her mother and brothers and they deserved the best.

She had gotten Lanie and Grams to help decorate. When they were done it looked like a party store had exploded in their loft covering it in various shades of blue.

They had one of Lanie's friends decorate a special cake for the occasion. All of their friends from work started arriving. Soon, the loft was filled with people there to celebrate their upcoming babies.

Alexis had a special surprise for Kate and her father. She'd been working on it for weeks and it had finally been finished yesterday.

They turned off the lights and Alexis watched her phone. When her dad finally texted her that they were in the parking lot, she signaled for everyone to be quiet. She heard Kate telling her dad, "You are in pain because you've overdone it today. Regardless of what you might think, you are not Superman Richard Castle."

She heard her dad say, "I like the sound of that. Superman, Richard Castle."

"Oh please."

Castle laughed and Kate went into the apartment and turned on the light. Everyone shouted, "Surprise!"

Kate was shocked when she saw all of the people gathered in their living room. When she saw the decorations she asked, "What?"

Alexis smiled, "This is your baby shower."

"Baby shower?"

"Yeah. I wanted to do it early because twins usually come early. So..."

"You planned this?"

Alexis nodded and Kate turned to hug her. She saw that her dad was standing off to the side and she also noticed the he looked like he was in pain. She hugged him and asked, "Are you okay?"

He shook his head, "I overdid it."

Alexis looked down and noticed a bit of blood on his white shirt and shook her head. Her father never knew when to say enough to anything. It was amazing that he had lived as long as he had. She led him into the bedroom and told him, "Get changed and then you can come and sit on the couch. You aren't allow to touch anything. Understand?"

Castle nodded, "Yes."

Alexis kissed her father's forehead and walked into the living room. Kate had been seated in the recliner. She needed to keep her feet up and it was in the perfect place in the living room. She was talking with Lanie and asked Alexis, "Where's your dad?"

"Getting changed."

Kate smiled and nodded. Soon, they were all talking and laughing about different things. Kate was having fun catching up on the gossip around the precinct. Apparently things were very different now that Kate wasn't there. There was a replacement Detective, but she wasn't like Kate. She was very by the books and not fun like Kate. She was definitely missed at work.

Soon, Castle joined the group and sat next to Kate. Lanie asked, "How are you feeling Castle?"

"I'm doing better. I shouldn't have done quite as much as I did today, but I took a pain killer and..."

"Men. You're all alike. You think you're made of steel."

Kate laughed, "Don't get him started Lanie. I'll never get him to stop it. I'll be hearing about Superman Richard Castle for years."

"Hey! It's got a nice ring to it."

Kate simply rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help smile of the good-natured ribbing that her friends were giving her husband. She didn't realize she was crying until Alexis reached over and touched her on the arm and then her stepdaughter asked, "Are you okay?"

Kate nodded, "I've never been better."

Alexis wasn't sure whether she was telling the truth or not, but she decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

When Esposito and Ryan started giving Lanie a hard time the coroner asked, "Aren't baby showers supposed to be only for women?"

Alexis laughed, "Yeah, but I figure my dad would try to get in anyway. So I figured it would be best to let men join rather than have him pounding at the door on the night or pouting in his room all night. You know how annoying he can be sometimes when he wants something."

Castle looked at his daughter and laughed, "I think I should be offended. My own daughter called me annoying."

"Well dad, you have to admit you are not the most patient person, especially when you're being left out of something you think is going to be fun."

Castle rolled his eyes, but he was grateful for the good-natured ribbing his daughter was giving him. He wouldn't let anyone know it, but he'd been afraid that he wouldn't recover from the shooting. In the brief moment before he lost consciousness, he hoped that someone would take care Kate and the babies.

Martha stood up and clapped her hands. Then she announced, "The games will now begin!"

Castle wondered what his mom had up her sleeve. That was the last thought he had before he fell asleep.

When he finally woke up all their friends had left. Kate was laying with her head in his lap. He smiled when he heard his mom and Alexis moving around the kitchen. Laying Kate's head on the couch, he got up to talk to his mom and Alexis.

Martha noticed him approaching first and said, "Look who decided to wake up and join us. Even if it's after the party is over."

Castle simply rolled his eyes and said, "What can I say I'm not thirty anymore."

Laughing, Martha said, "It's pretty sad when your mother can stay awake later than you can."

Castle simply laughed at his mom. Then his face turned serious and he asked his mom, "Did you know about the dream Kate had?"

Martha nodded slowly. Unsure of how much Kate had told her son. Then Castle said, "You should have told me."

Martha grew concerned and then asked her son, "What happened?"

"She had the same dream again last night and when she woke up, she thought she was still dreaming. She broke the mirror in the bedroom with her hands and she thought I was a hallucination or tormenting her with my memory."

Martha shook her head sadly. "It wasn't my place to say anything. I figure that when she was ready, she would tell you about it."

Castle shook his head and told her, "She didn't tell me a thing about the dream and she scared the hell out of me. Seeing her break that mirror scared the hell out of me."

Castle sat down at the breakfast bar and glanced over to where Kate was sleeping on the couch. He was glad that she was able to spend time with their friends and family. He was almost sure they made quite a few jokes about him falling asleep.

It was then that he noticed all of the gifts of their friends and brought for the babies. He asked Alexis, "I hope you told them they didn't have to bring gifts for the babies."

Alexis nodded, "Of course I did. But people are going to bring presents to a baby shower dad."

Castle nodded, "I know that you did, but I didn't want people thinking we only made them over so that we could get presents for the babies."

Alexis just rolled her eyes and Martha laughed and told her granddaughter, "He's a man he doesn't realize that baby showers are all about gifts for the babies. And it's all about women getting together to talk about the men they love."

Castle finally asked, "When did everybody leave and how did I sleep through all that?"

"The left about three hours ago."

"Are you serious?! Three hours. I slept for three hours?"

Alexis shook her head and told her dad, "No. You slept for five hours. The baby shower ended three hours ago, but you slept from the beginning. All through the baby shower and you missed the opening of the gifts."

Castle looked over at his wife who was still sleeping and asked, "Did Kate enjoy herself?"

Alexis nodded and smiled. Then she showed her dad the pictures they taken of him sleeping. It would have been funny, except for the fact that someone had put a paper plate on top of his head, which they proceeded to decorate with all the ribbons from the gifts the people had brought. There were so many ribbons that ended up covering his face almost completely. He would been offended normally, but seeing Kate laugh like she was in the pictures made it all worth it. It made all worth it to see the light in her eyes as she laughed at what was surely an embarrassing moment for Castle. At least it would've been if he had been awake.

Castle finally asked, "How long has she been asleep?"

Alexis smiled, "She fell asleep about an hour ago. She tried to stay awake but she couldn't."

Castle nodded, "I should carry her to the bedroom now."

Martha and Alexis both said, "No!"

Here the both of them and asked, "What? I can carry her to the bedroom."

Martha shook her head and said, "No. You just had surgery two weeks ago, you are not carrying her to the bedroom. She's fine where she's at.. In fact, she said that sometimes she's more comfortable on the couch than she is in the bed."

Castle knew that if he tried to move his wife, he would have an angry Alexis and an angry Martha to deal with. And when Kate woke up and found out what he did he would have to deal with her. He could handle his mother and Alexis, but dealing with an angry Kate was not something he was ready to deal with. So, he decided to let her sleep on the couch. He couldn't sleep in their bed without her, so he went back to join her on the couch.

He fell asleep again almost immediately, he hadn't realized how tired he was until he closes eyes. He only woke when he felt someone kissing him on the lips. He opened his eyes and smiled into the kiss. Then he whispered softly to her, "I won't ever get tired of waking up like that."

"Good. Because I will never get tired of waking you up like that."

Castle looked her in the eyes and he could see that she was upset. So, he asked, "Did you have the dream again?"

Kate nodded and told him, "Yes."

Castle held her in kissed the top of her head. He wished that he could erase the dream from her memory. He knew that he couldn't. So, he would do the next best thing. He would be there for her for as long as she needed him to be. He finally asked her, "Are you ready for bed?"

Kate nodded and smiled as he stood up in front of her. He offered her his hand which she gladly took as she let him pull her to her feet. As they walked to the bedroom, she threw her arm around his waist and not for the first time she realized how lucky she was to have this man as her husband.

After they made love that night, Kate fell asleep was her head on his chest and his hand resting on her stomach.


	26. Chapter 26

When she woke the next morning, she realized that she had slept all night and not had that terrible dream. Maybe he was just with the doctor ordered to get rid of her nightmares. She could only hope that it would continue. Because she was finally able to close her eyes and get a good nights sleep.

After laying beside him for a while, she realized what had woke her up. Apparently one of the babies had decided to use her bladder as a punching bag. She finally, wiggled out of his grasp and made her way to the bathroom. When she was done, she heard Castle, stirring in the bed. She went to Clement the bed, but noticed a small amount of blood on the sheets where he laid.

She shook his shoulder and said, "Wake up sleepyhead."

Castle shook his head and mumbled, "Just five more minutes mom. I promise I'll get up after that."

Kate shook her head and laughed, "First of all I'm not your mom and second of all I need change the bandages on your wound."

Kate always knew that Castle was not a morning person, but she never realized how bad it was until they were married. She tried to roll him out of bed, but he simply dug in deeper and buried his head underneath the pillow. Kate laughed, her husband could be such a kid sometimes.

She turned to leave the bedroom, but before she left, she told him, "Fine. I'll just go grab some ice and see how long it takes you to get out of bed."

She didn't needed turn around to know that he was out of bed. She heard him jump out of bed. She laughed and said, "I guess I need to threaten to get ice more often when you won't wake up."

Castle shook his head and laughed, "You are a mean,mean woman Kate Castle. Threatening to use ice on your poor husband. Your poor injured husband."

Kate walked over and patted his cheek gently, "You will be fine. I did not use ice, but I won't hesitate to threaten to use it. Especially now that I know it works."

Castle realized that he'd been duped. Now she had a threat that she knew worked and he had no doubt she would use it. If she needed to.

He turned and saw the look of concern on her face and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Your bleeding."

He looked down he did see a small amount of blood on his shirt. However, the doctors did tell him a small amount of bleeding would be normal. So, he walked to the bathroom to change the bandage. He was surprised when she followed him. He pulled his shirt up over his head and went to reach for the bandage. He heard her whisper, "Let me do it. Please?"

"Are you sure you can handle it?"

Kate nodded, "I want to do this for you. I **need** to do this for you."

Castle could tell this was something that was important to her. It was almost as if in helping him heal, she was helping herself heal. Both emotionally and mentally. So, he nodded softly and let her change the bandage for him. When she was done, she kissed the tip of her finger placed against the bandage. She looked up in his eyes and he saw tears forming there. She tried to turn away before he noticed, but was unsuccessful. He raised her head to look in her eyes and then asked, "What's wrong?"

Kate trying to move away, but Castle refused to let her. At least not until she answered his question. She finally sighed and told him, "Nothing. Nothing at all."

"What's with the tears?"

"I'm just glad that…"

"For what?"

Kate smiled up at him and finally whispered, "You're going to think this crazy, that I'm crazy."

"Never."

"I'm glad for the blood."

Castle could understand why. He knew that after her dream, seeing his blood was proof of life for her. He knew at that moment that he would bleed a thousand times over if it meant making her feel better. He simply nodded and kissed her softly before he asked, "Are you ready for breakfast?"

Kate started to shake her head, but stopped when her stomach rumbled. Apparently her stomach felt differently. So, she laughed and told him, "I might not be, but the babies are."

Castle laughed and took her by the hand. Then he told her, "I will make you feast fit for a Queen."

Kate laughed softly, "Queen Kate. I love the sound of that."

Castle shook his head, "Hey! If I can't be Superman Richard Castle. You can't be Queen Kate."

"You're the one that said it. I'm merely embracing it."

"I think I've created a monster."

Kate shook her head and laughed, "Not a monster, just a Queen."

Castle shook his head and rolled his eyes and laughed, "Heaven help us all."

Kate kissed his cheek softly and asked, "Do you want help with breakfast?"

Castle motioned for her to sit down, "Breakfast will be ready soon, my Queen."

Kate laughed and put her hands under her chin and watched as her husband made breakfast. These were the times that she would remember for the rest of her life. The times when Castle was simply Castle, not trying to impress anyone, but simply in love with her and doing anything he could to please her.

She knew she had a goofy look on her face when she heard Alexis laugh and say, "Wow mom. You look happy this morning. Not that you don't always look happy, but there's just something about you that..."

Kate smiled at her stepdaughter, "I could try to explain it, but I don't think you would understand. When you find that one special person, the person that completes you, you will have a goofy look on your also."

Alexis smiled at her mom, "I can only hope to find that kind of person. So far it's not happening."

Kate nodded knowingly. "You're still young. It took me a long time to find your father. And took us both even longer to realize that we loved each other. Don't make that same mistake. When you find that special someone, don't wait to tell him how you feel."

"But what if he does it feel the same way towards me? I don't want to look like a fool and…"

Kate shook her head, "You never know if he feels the same way. Your dad loved me for so long. Deep down, I knew that I loved him, but I had built up a wall around my heart. A wall your father worked long and hard to break down. And when he finally did it was magic."

"I didn't know you believed in magic."

"There is magic everywhere, Alexis." She looked over at her husband, who was busy preparing breakfast and smiled. "You just have to know where to look for it. It can come from the most unexpected places. And it's been my experience that if you close your eyes to the possibility of magic, you can miss finding that one person that completes you. The missing part of your heart."

Alexis noticed her mom watching her father, who had just burnt his hand taking the toast out of the toaster. Then Alexis asked, "What was it about dad that finally made you admit that you love him?"

Kate smiled, "He has such a big heart. He's funny. He believes in everything that I've always denied. He brings magic into my life. He makes me laugh. And that's the most important thing with the job I have, it's hard to remember how to laugh. Seeing death on a daily basis. It's hard, remembering how to laugh, but your dad makes that just a little bit easier. It wasn't one specific thing that made me admit that I loved him. I just realized that, at the end of the day, being with him was better than being apart."

Alexis nodded and realized that maybe she would find someone like that one day. That maybe she would wake up one day and find that special someone. That someone that would make life worth living. Until then, she would keep an open mind and an open heart. All the while looking for that special someone that she could spend the rest of her life with. She wanted the kind of relationship that her parents had.

A scream from the general direction of the kitchen brought them out of their chat. Kate shook her head and laughed as she saw the smoke coming up from the toaster, "He's going to burn the loft down."

Alexis looked at her mom and said, "I'll help him. Cook breakfast that is, not burn loft down."

Kate nodded and shook her head and watched as her family made breakfast. Wondering how she would ever survive next few months at home with him waiting for their babies to be born…


	27. Chapter 27

_**Thank you for all of the reviews. They are truly appreciated. If you have anything you would like me to write about, please leave it in a review or send me a private message. I'm always up to suggestions. And now for the latest chapter...**_

The next week was the start of Kate's twenty-ninth week of the pregnancy. That was when her doctor recommended childbirth classes. For both her and Castle. The classes would be held weekly, for six weeks. Both Kate and Castle were excited about the upcoming classes.

The first night of class they arrived early, carrying a pillow and blanket. Kate wasn't sure that the blanket was necessary, but she decided to humor her husband. He had insisted the blanket was necessary. Actually, his exact words were, "A blanket is absolutely necessary."

Not willing to argue with him. She grabbed the blanket and said, "Let's just go to the damn classes already. I don't want to be late on the first night."

Knowing he had won that argument, he simply smiled and wisely chose not to say anything. He had a feeling that if he had gloated, Kate wouldn't have hesitated to get her gun and use it.

Sitting in the classroom that night, Kate felt, not for the first time, extremely self-conscious. She was without a doubt, the biggest woman there. She was also only one expecting twins. She knew that it was normal to be larger when you're expecting twins, but it still didn't stop her from being self-conscious.

Castle could tell that she was nervous about being there. So, he reached over and took her hand and squeezed it softly. Then he looked over at her and smiled. She smiled back at him and then leaned her head on his shoulder to listen to the instructor.

Everything was going fine. At least until the instructor showed the first video. It was at that point, Kate felt her stomach turning. Surely she was going to be sick because of what she was watching on-screen. When she looked over at Castle, she had turned an unnatural shade of green. She finally whispered, "I'm terrified now."

She saw Castle nod in agreement and she would have laughed herself, but there was nothing funny about the situation. How were they going to go through childbirth together, if they couldn't even watch a movie about it?

When the movie was over the instructor announced that they would take a five-minute break. Kate looked at Castle and said, "I don't think I can do this."

Castle laughed at the look on her face, "I don't think you have much of a choice at this point."

"Oh I have choices. I have plenty of choices. I'm not doing this. I quit. And you..." She poked him in the chest and asked, "Why didn't you tell me about this before?"

It was at that point that Castle got really quiet and Kate noticed that he got a wistful and almost sad look on his face. She took his hand and squeezed it tightly and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I didn't know."

"How can you not know? You have a daughter. She's in college for God sakes. You had to have known what happens during childbirth."

He shook his head and said, "Meredith didn't want me in the room when Alexis was born. She told me was bad enough that I had gotten her pregnant. That giving birth was disgusting and messy and she didn't want me there until after the baby was born. She refused to go to any childbirth classes with me. She was with her best friend at the time, who was definitely was not me. The first time I saw Alexis was when she was three hours old. She was all cleaned up and was definitely the most beautiful baby I had ever seen in my life. But I missed the most important event of her life. Of my life. The moment that she was born."

Kate could only nod because the tears left her choked up. If she hadn't already disliked Meredith that would've definitely done it for. How could the woman have denied Castle chance to see his daughter being born? Sure, he could be annoying at times, but she couldn't imagine excluding him from something so important because of simple vanity. So instead of saying anything, she simply kissed him softly. Then, she motioned for them to go back inside the classroom. She would do this, if for no other reason than for him.

The rest of the class went by much better. After the initial shock of watching the video they practiced breathing exercises which Castle had proclaimed that they had aced. She only laughed and rolled her eyes him, "That's impossible."

"Nope, we aced it. The. best. in. the. class. Period, end of discussion."

Kate laughed and decide to let him have this one. She knew that sometimes arguing with Castle was like arguing with a wall. Pointless and it only left you frustrated. Kate would never admit it, but she was actually looking forward to the next childbirth class. If for no other reason than to see the smile on his face. She wanted to be the one that kept that smile on his face. However, those plans would be put into question when she woke the following morning.

It all started innocently enough. She walked in the bathroom to relieve herself. Pulling down her underwear, she noticed a faint pinkish color. It wasn't normal. So, she found herself extremely worried. She couldn't find the words to call out for her husband. She couldn't talk all she could do was look down at that ominous pink color in her white underwear. Thinking, something was wrong with her or heaven forbid, she was going to lose the babies.

Castle walked into the bathroom and saw her, staring at something. He was going to ask what she was looking at. However, when he saw the tears in her eyes, he grew worried, "What's wrong?"

Kate heard the question that Castle asked, but found herself unable to reply. She simply pointed and she knew the moment that he saw it. Because she saw the fear on his face. The same fear that she was sure was reflected on her face. Kate stood up and made her way to the bedroom. Where she grabbed her phone and made a call to her doctors office.

The nurse was very understanding and told Kate that the doctor wanted her to come in. Kate hurried to get dressed and told her husband. "We need to go."

Castle helped her into the car and they quickly drove to the doctors office. Once they were inside the office, they were quickly shown to an exam room. It was only a matter of minutes before the doctor came in to examine Kate.

During the entire exam, Kate held Castle's hand, afraid of what the doctor would tell them. Afraid that he would tell them that the babies were in danger. When Kate's doctor finished the exam, he smiled at her and told her to get dressed. Then he proceeded to tell her, "Everything appears to be fine."

Kate shook her head and looked at the doctor and asked, "What about the blood?"

"From what I could see it wasn't that much blood. Just a little bit of spotting and nothing to be terribly concerned about. Have you been having any cramps?"

Shaking her head Kate told them, "No. Nothing at all. In fact, everything's been perfect. At least until now."

"A little bit of spotting is no cause for concern. If it was any heavier, I would be concerned, but with no cramps along with the small amount of spotting there was, I see no reason to worry."

Castle smiled and shook the doctors hand and nodded, "Thank you."

The doctor patted Kate's hand and nodded, "I've been delivering babies for years and this isn't the first time that had a nervous mother worried about her babies health."

Kate rested her hands on her stomach and not for the first time, she felt scared. She nodded and whispered to her doctor, "I can't stop worrying about them. Afraid of doing something wrong or not doing something and losing them. I don't think I would survive if anything happened to these babies."

Her doctor nodded and smiled, "What you're going through right now it's perfectly normal. Most mothers feel that way one time or another during their pregnancies. Your perfectly healthy and the babies heartbeats are strong. I can assure you that there's nothing to worry about."

Kate nodded and smiled, "Telling me not to worry isn't going to make me worry less. You should know that by now."

Her doctor simply smiled at her and nodded. He had been doing this long enough to know that he it was useless to tell a pregnant woman not to worry about her baby. So, he simply told her, "I know you'll worry, but there's really no need to. If the bleeding gets worse or you start having cramps call my office. Anytime. Day or night."

Kate simply nodded and smiled at her husband. She knew that she was being a little bit of a worry wart, but these babies had already found a way into her heart. Kate smiled at her doctor, "I'll try to remember that, but I will probably still have moments of panic."

Castle smiled and told her, "I'll be there for you in your moments of doubt. I'll remind you that everything will be fine."

Kate smiled and kissed her husband. Oblivious to everything around her. Everything except the way it felt when he kissed her.

He offered her his hand as they walked out of the doctor's office together. Content to the knowledge that their sons were safe and sound. At least for now.

Arriving home, Kate realized she was starving and decide that a breakfast of eggs, bacon and waffles were just what the doctor ordered. She worked silently in the kitchen and Castle knew that this was how she worked through some of her stress. So, he sat on the chair and watch her cook breakfast for them.

He watched as she cooked more and more food. It looked like she was cooking enough for a small army. He raised his eyebrows and asked, "Are you _that_ hungry?"

Kate laughed and for the first time, she noticed all the food she had cooked and said, "I wonder if your mother is hungry."

Castle sighed and told her, "I'm sure she is."

He wondered, not for the first time, how they were going to have enough room for the babies and still keep Alexis and Martha's rooms. Castle knew then that they needed to talk about their living arrangements. Yes he loved the loft, but very soon, their growing family was going to outgrow it. So he decided to mention it to Kate, "I have a question for you and you can tell me if you hate it, or if you think it's a bad idea."

Kate picked up a piece of bacon and nibbled on it. She motioned for him to continue. So, he smiled and said, "We need to think about getting a bigger place."

"What?! You love the loft and it's all paid for. It's where Alexis grew up and…"

Castle held up his hand to stop her, "I've been thinking about that. I was thinking that mom could live here and not have to worry about walking in on us. And I think this would be a good place for Alexis to have after college. It makes sense. She could have her own place here. If she wants it that is. And she can have a room in our new house to. That way she won't feel like we are abandoning her for a new life together. I..."

Kate stood there stunned. Never imagining that Castle would want to move out of the loft, but she could tell that he was serious and apparently he had given this a lot of thought. So, she decided that she would go along with him. It would be good for the babies to have a place with a yard and maybe a swing set. So, she nodded and whispered, "I think that's a great idea."

She could tell that Castle was stunned, simply by the look on his face.

Castle had been prepared with all kinds of reasons as to why it was a good idea, but when she agreed to it, he was kind of stunned. He watched as Kate laughed at him and smiled. Getting Kate to agree with it was the easy thing. Telling Alexis will be a lot harder. He wasn't sure how his daughter would feel about him moving out of their home. The only home that his daughter had known. So, he asked Kate, "Are you up to having dinner with Alexis tonight?"

"If she can come. You know I love having her here."

Castle nodded and made his way to the phone to call Alexis. This was something important. Something that she needed to be okay with also. Although knowing Alexis, she would be perfectly fine with it. As long as she got to see her brothers, her father and her mom.

Alexis was very excited about her father's call, but he sounded strange. Almost like he was afraid of something. She wondered what was up, but he wouldn't tell her anything on the phone. He insisted this was something they needed to talk about in person. So, she canceled her date for that night and made her way to her parents house. Never dreaming that this was the conversation that would change all of their lives…


	28. Chapter 28

_**Thank you for all of the reviews. They are truly appreciated**_

Walking into her parents house that night, Alexis had a huge smile on her face. She was always looking for an excuse to go over to her parents house. Not that she needed an excuse, but it was easier than admitting that she missed her parents. Plus, she always told her dad that she didn't want him just dropping by anytime he got lonely. There were times that she really missed living at the loft. Should never admit it to her father, but she missed her old room and missed seeing him when she woke up in the morning.

Alexis called out to her parents, "Hey guys! I'm home!"

She heard her father's voice call out to her, "In our bedroom."

Walking towards the bedroom, she stopped and asked, "Are you guys decent?"

She heard Kate laugh, and her father said, "Do you think we would invite you over if we weren't?"

Alexis shook her head and laughed as she told them, "You never know with two of you."

Kate was laying in the bed on her side and Castle was rubbing her back slowly. Alexis knelt down and kissed Kate's cheek. Then she knelt down and whispered to Kate's stomach, "Hey boys! I hope you're being good for your mommy." Alexis's eyes lit up when she felt the babies kick under her hand. She looked at Kate and whispered, "Wow. That was incredible."

Kate smiled brightly and nodded, "It is pretty amazing."

"Did you guys want to talk in here, or in the kitchen?"

She watched as Kate and Castle seem to communicate amongst themselves, without words. Finally, Castle nodded and told his daughter, "Let's go out into the living room."

Alexis looked both of them and notice the serious look on their faces. As Kate was getting up, Alexis asked, "Is everything okay? Is there something wrong with the babies?"

Shaking his head Castle said, "No. We just need to talk."

Alexis laughed harshly and said, "It sounds serious. You're scaring me dad."

Kate finally said, "I promise you it's nothing bad. Well, at least we don't think it is."

The three of them walked into the living room together and when Kate was settled on the couch, she nodded at Castle and he said, "We decided that this place is getting a little too small for our growing family. We want to start looking for a new house."

Alexis looked at Kate and Castle her mouth hung open and asked, "You're getting rid of the loft? How could you? I grew up here. This is the only house I've ever known. I can't believe this! How could you?"

Castle held up his hands, "Would you please let us answer one question before you ask another?"

Alexis had tears in her eyes and shook her head, "Why does it matter? You've obviously already decided to move and sell the loft." Then she turned and looked at Kate and spat out, "This is all your fault! I…"

Alexis turned and headed her bedroom. When she got inside, she slammed the door behind her and she threw herself onto her bed. She couldn't believe that her parents were going to sell the only place that had ever been her home. Angry tears streamed down her face. She didn't have the energy to fight it.

And when she thought about how she'd talked to Kate, she started crying harder. She hadn't been thinking when she said those things to her. She loved her mom and dad. This was just a building. She could find another house anywhere, but they loved her. And that was something much harder to find.

She sat up in bed and hugged her knees close to her chest. The tears that she cried, were now tears of shame. How was she ever going to show her face in front of her parents again? She cried harder and then she heard a knock on her bedroom door. She said, "Go away!"

Alexis watched the door to her bedroom opened and Kate walked inside. Alexis looked at Kate and could tell that she'd been crying. Alexis hadn't thought that she feeling any worse than she had before, but seeing Kate's red eyes made her feel ten times worse. Kate had always been nice to her and she hadn't deserved the way she talked to her.

She sighed and laid down on her bed facing away from Kate and said, "Please just go away. I… Didn't… Mean… To… Hurt… You…"

She started crying harder in the bed shook with her sobs. She felt Kate sit down beside her on the bed and then felt her rubbing her back and heard her whisper, "It's okay, Alexis."

Alexis couldn't say anything. All she could do was shake her head. She was embarrassed and ashamed of the way she had treated her mom. Then she heard Kate say, "Everything will be fine. Shush it's okay."

"No it's not okay. I'm acting like a spoiled brat. It's just a building. Simply place to live. I don't need to keep the loft. I just grew up here and there so many memories here and I..."

Alexis felt Kate smoothing her hair. She didn't deserve compassion from Kate. By all rights, Kate should hate her for the things she had said to her. She told her softly, "I wouldn't blame you if you hate me right now. I..."

Kate shook her head and whispered, "I don't hate you Alexis. I could never hate you. I love you."

"But the things I said. I..."

"We should have eased into it. Because there's more."

"More? What more could there be?"

"We aren't planning on selling the loft."

"You aren't?"

Shaking her head, Kate told Alexis, "No. Your dad knows that you love this place and he wants you to have it. For when you are done with college. That way, you will have a place to live and so will Martha."

Alexis reached for a tissue and blew her nose, "Really?"

"Yes really. I wouldn't feel right selling the only home you've ever known. But the babies, they need a lot more room than what we have here. And we want to get have your own room at our new place."

"Really? You aren't just saying that to make me feel better?"

It was then that Alexis heard her dad say, "No we aren't Alexis. You're part of this family and we want you around us. At least as much as you want to be."

"I'd like that. And I owe both of you an apology. Both of you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."

Alexis threw herself into Kate's arms and they hugged tightly. Both of them crying tears of joy while Castle looked on.

What Alexis didn't know. What she couldn't know. Was that when they moved, it would bring about a huge change in her life. It would bring someone special into her life. Someone that would change her life forever...


	29. Chapter 29

_**Thank you for all of the reviews. They are truly appreciated**_

_**If you want to see a picture of the house, look on trulia. The address is 8 Colonial Rd in White Plains, NY.**_

Kate and Castle looked at more houses than they could count. Castle loved the first house he saw, but Kate found something wrong with each and every one. The first one was too big. The second one was too small. The third one, well, it didn't have a yard.

Castle was starting to think that they would never find a house before the babies were born. However, after the second week, they found the perfect house. Castle could tell that Kate fell in love with it the moment that they pulled into the driveway.

It was a classic Tudor home. It had everything that wanted in a home. A nice sized yard. It even had a pool. What Kate fell in love with however, was the atrium. Then, when she walked out onto the upstairs patio and saw the fireplace, she turned to Castle and whispered, "This is it. This is our home."

Castle did a double take and asked, "Are you sure?"

Kate nodded, "Yes. I can see us living here. I can see us standing up here watching our kids play in the pool. I'm standing here and you're holding me."

Castle smiled, "And they have a huge wine cellar. And oh, a tennis court!"

Kate could tell that her husband was extremely excited. She finally said, "Lets make an offer."

Castle turned to the real estate agent and said, "We want this house. Tell them we will pay their asking price."

The woman nodded and told them that she would call them as soon as she knew something more.

The purchase of the home went surprisingly quick. It probably helped that they didn't have to get financing from a bank, but they were completely moved in by the time Kate was thirty-three weeks pregnant.

Castle, Ryan and Esposito took care of moving the things into the new house.

Ryan whistled and said, "This place is huge!"

Esposito agreed, "You could fit my entire apartment building in here."

Castle brought in a rocking chair that he had bought for Kate and told her, "What room do you want this in?"

Biting her bottom lip Kate thought for a minute and then finally smiled and said, "Our bedroom."

Castle nodded and carried the chair upstairs to the bedroom. He put it by the window and smiled. He still looked out the window for a moment and not for the first time, realized that this was the perfect house for them.

By the end of the day, they had everything moved into the house. As payment for their help, Castle had pizza delivered and more beer they can ever possibly drink.

Alexis and Martha brought over some of the smaller things. It was the first time that Martha had seen the house and she fell in love with it immediately.

Castle smiled and told his mother. "You are not moving into _this_ house."

Martha laughed at her son and told him, "I wouldn't dream of it. It's too far away from the city and all my friends. Besides you and Kate don't want me hanging around you all the time."

"You can say that again."

Kate looked at her husband and said, "Rick! Be nice."

Castle looked at her with the look of what. She shook her head and told her mother-in-law, "You're welcome here anytime you want."

Martha smiled and leaned down to hug her daughter in law and she told her, "How you ever fell in love with my son is a mystery to me, but I'm definitely glad for that. I'm glad to have you and my soon-to-be grandbabies in my life."

The two women hugged and Kate had never felt more grateful for someone her life.

Castle watched two women he loved hugged and cried together. He knew that he gave his mother a lot of grief, but he knew that he was lucky to have her in their lives.

Looking around he noticed that Alexis had wandered off. He went in search of her and found her upstairs and one of the bedrooms. He knocked on the door and asked her, "Do you like this room?"

Alexis nodded, "I like the view and the view of the pool is breathtaking. But…"

Castle looked at his daughter and asked, "But what?"

"You probably want this room for the babies. After all, I will only be here part-time. I don't want to take this room for myself and…"

They both turned around when they heard Kate say, "I think this room is perfect for you."

Alexis asked, "Are you sure?"

Kate nodded and smiled at the both of them, "I'm sure. In fact I would have been disappointed if you had chosen any other room."

Alexis shook her head and wondered how she had gotten so lucky. To have a stepmother that loved her so much. Especially when her own mother barely acknowledged her existence. And not for the first time she was thankful that her dad and Kate had fallen in love. Alexis walked over to her stepmother and hugged her tightly, "Thank you. I love the room. And I love this house. It's gorgeous."

Kate took her hand and told her, "You haven't seen the best part yet."

Kate led her downstairs and outside. Back to the tennis court. Alexis's eyes widened at the sight and said, "Wow. I just might spend more time here now."

Castle laughed at his daughter and shook his head. His daughter never failed to surprise him. As they were walking down the stairs he told her, "This means we need to go shopping."

He laughed and shook his head when both Kate and Alexis said, "Shopping!"

When they got downstairs, Castle noticed the look on Kate's face and asked, "Are you okay?"

Kate nodded and said, "I'm just a little tired. I'm going to go upstairs and lay down."

Castle was worried, but he didn't want to hover. So, he kissed her forehead and watched her walk back upstairs. Then he went to go join their friends.

Walking upstairs to the bedroom, Kate felt extremely tired. So, she went into the bedroom fully intending to lay down. However, no matter what she did she couldn't get comfortable. So, she put a pillow under her stomach. Thinking that that would work. However, she knew something was wrong when she felt a terrible pain hit her stomach. It was so bad that it took her breath away. She couldn't move. All she could do was wait for the pain end.

When it did, she got up and walked into the bathroom. Another pain hit and she grabbed onto the sink to keep from falling to the floor. She took a deep breath and manage to breathe through that pain. She finally sat down on the toilet and closed her eyes. That was where Castle found her when he walked upstairs after saying good night to their friends.

When Castle walked into the bathroom and saw Kate sitting on the toilet he didn't think anything of it first. However, when he saw the look of pain on her face. He knew something was wrong and asked, "Are you okay?"

Kate shook her head in managed to whisper, "No."

"Are you in labor?"

Kate knew that it was too early, but she did think that she was in labor. So, she told him, "I think so. I…"

Another pain hit her and she realized then that she was in labor and they needed to get to the hospital right away. So, she looked at her husband said, "We need to go."

Castle nodded and she stood up and almost fell to her knees when the next labor pain hit. She swore that she saw stars. Seeing this Castle picked her up and carried her downstairs himself and into the car and sped off towards the hospital.

Castle called her doctor to let him know that they thought she was in labor. The doctor agreed to meet them at the hospital.

Castle made to the hospital in record time. He arrived shortly after the doctor. There was a wheelchair waiting for her and they hurried her into the hospital.

Once they got her into delivery room, the nurses attached monitors to Kate's stomach and also put a blood pressure cuff on to monitor her.

The doctor came into the room and smiled and then told them, "I want to check and see if your dilated or not. This could just be Braxton Hicks contractions."

After checking her over the doctor realized that she was indeed in labor. She is already dilated 4 cm. So, he smiled and said, "Well, it looks like you're going to be meeting your babies soon."

Kate started panicking and said, "It's too early."

The doctor smiled and shook his head and told them, "Twins are usually born early. I see no reason why they won't be perfectly healthy."

Kate couldn't argue because another labor pain hit her. She grabbed the sides of her bed and held on for dear life. Castle whispered, "You're doing great honey."

It was then that Kate turned on him and said, "You are never touching me again. This is all your fault. I hate you!"

The nurses that were helping Kate simply smiled. They'd seen this happen numerous times before. It seemed like every woman reacted like this when they were in labor.

Her labor seem to go on forever. When the nurse checked her, she had been in labor for nearly eight hours. Her hair was plastered to her head from sweating so much. She was ready to give up. Which she had said about five or six times and she refused to let Castle touch her. So, he simply sat beside her bed feeling useless. However, between contractions she apologized him and held his hand. It was like she was two different people.

So, she is very glad when the nurse announced, "I do believe it's time for you to meet your babies. Are you ready?"

Kate could only nod and whisper, "Yes."

Castle smiled and took her hand. He knelt down and kissed her forehead and whispered, "You can do this."

"I know. It just hurts so much."

"I know sweetheart, but it will be over soon and then we'll have our babies. Our sons."

She nodded and smiled up at him.

It was then that the doctor came in and said, "Let's do this." Kate nodded and the doctor continued, "Now, Kate, when the next labor pain hits I want you to bear down and count to ten. And dad. This is where you come in. You need to help her count to ten. Hold her hand and encourage her. Are you ready?"

They both nodded and then Kate felt the next labor pain hit. She bore down and Castle counted to ten. It was obvious to everyone that Kate was exhausted, but she was determined. After a few more minutes, the doctor announced, "I see the head."

Kate was breathing heavy at this point and collapsed back onto the bed. She had never felt pain like this before. This was even worse than when she had been shot. She watched as Castle went to look and saw when he smiled and whispered, "Amazing..."

She smiled briefly and then another pain hit and she bore down and pushed on final time. She felt tremendous pressure as their first son slid from her body. Then the doctor said, "Okay Kate. You can relax for a moment."

She could only nod. She looked over and saw them working on her son. She smiled when she heard him cry. She whispered, "Beautiful."

They brought him over to her and she looked down at the tiny infant. She had never seen a baby quite so small before. She whispered, "Hi there baby. I'm your mommy."

She kissed the top of his forehead and told Castle, "He looks just like you."

Castle had tears in his eyes and shook his head, "He's all you."

He leaned down and kissed her softly. Then the nurses took the baby again and Kate felt the urge to push again. Castle held her hand waiting for their second son to be born. However, it was then that the labor seemed to stall. Then Kate whispered to him, "Take care of our sons."

Her eyes rolled back in her head and Castle saw a tremendous amount of blood on the floor. He wondered what was going on, but he was pushed out of the room before he could ask any questions. He stood staring at the swinging doors. Left to wonder what was happening to his wife and unborn son...


	30. Chapter 30

_**Thank you for all of the reviews. They are truly appreciated. My best friend is also my beta reader and she nearly disowned me after I wrote the last chapter. **_

Before Castle knew what was happening, he was surrounded by his family and friends. They were all asking him questions excitedly. Alexis was first, "Well, are the babies here?"

Martha smiled excitedly, "Yeah! How is Kate?"

Lanie said, "Why aren't you saying anything Castle?"

Esposito looked at him and whispered to Ryan, "I think he's shocked at being a father again at his age."

Ryan smiled, "I think so. Come on Castle. What's up?"

Castle simply shook his head and went to sit down in a chair. He ran his fingers through his hair and when he lifted his head, they could see tears in his eyes.

Martha sat down beside her son and asked, "Richard... What's wrong? You're scaring us."

Lanie sat on the other side of him and took one of his hands. Then she asked, "Is Kate okay?"

When Castle saw Kate's father smiling, he lost it and let the tears fall. He finally took a deep breath.

After a few seconds, Castle shrugged and then said, "I don't know. I..." He swallowed hard and then said, "Everything was fine. At least until the first baby was born. Then something happened and..." He swallowed hard, "She told me to take care of the babies and then her eyes rolled back in her head. There was so much blood."

Lanie squeezed his hand and whispered, "Did the doctors tell you anything?"

He shook his head, "No. Not a word."

Castle sat back in his seat and could only wait for some word on his wife and sons condition.

It was another hour before the small group was given any kind of word on what was going on. Her doctor had a scrub that was covered in blood. Castle knew that it belonged to his wife. He stood up and asked, "How are they?"

The doctor swallowed and then told him, "Your son is doing good. He's been transferred to the NICU. He's with his brother."

Castle nodded, "And my wife?"

"We are still operating on her. She's lost a lot of blood."

It was then that Lanie asked, "What happened to her?"

Kate's doctor looked at Castle and he nodded, "They are family. You can tell her."

The doctor nodded and told her, "She has a condition known as placenta percreta. Basically, the placenta attached itself to her bladder."

Castle swallowed and asked, "Why didn't you catch it before the babies were born?"

"Mister Castle, it's an extremely rare condition. It only occurs in one percent of pregnancies. Unfortunately, because she was expecting twins, we didn't know that the placenta had went through the uterine wall. After your first son was born, the placenta tore causing her to hemorrhage. We've used nearly twenty gallons of blood trying to save her."

Castle felt light headed. He kept hoping that this was some kind of bad dream, but he knew that it wasn't. He finally asked, "How is she?"

"She's still in surgery. We had to perform a hysterectomy to save her life. The urologist is trying to repair her bladder as we speak. The key is that we need to get her bleeding under control."

Castle heard the unspoken words. That if they couldn't control the bleeding they would lose her. The doctor finally said, "I need to get back in there. I'll send my nurse out when we know more. I'm sorry I can't be more optimistic."

Castle simply nodded and fell back into the chair. He felt totally and completely drained at that moment. Before he walked back inside, he told them, "I have left word with the NICU staff. They will allow you to see your sons."

His sons. In all of his concern about Kate, he'd nearly forgotten about their babies. He stood up and told his friends, "I need to go see them."

Alexis stood up, "I'm coming with you dad."

Martha smiled, "You two go. I'll come get you if we hear anything."

Castle took his daughter's hand and they walked off together. When they reached the NICU, the nurse in charge of his sons smiled and told him, "I'm Nicole. I'm the nurse on duty right now. Lets get you ready to meet your sons."

She took them to the room where they washed up and put on sanitary robes. Then, Castle and Alexis walked into the room where the babies were. Alexis looked at her brothers and whispered, "They are bigger than I imagined."

Nicole smiled at her, "Baby A was five pounds three ounces when he was born. And Baby B was four pounds twelve ounces."

"Benjamin and Caleb."

"Excuse me?"

"Their names. Baby A is Benjamin and Baby B is Caleb."

Nicole nodded and smiled at him, "I will make up cards for them. So that the nurses know their names. Would you like to hold them?"

Castle looked afraid and whispered, "I don't want to hurt them. I..."

"Nonsense. They are a lot tougher than they look. It will be good for them. I'm sure you talked to them when your wife was pregnant. Right?"

Alexis laughed, "All the time."

Castle smiled, "How did you know?"

"Please dad. Kate told me all about you talking to them. Especially when you thought she was asleep."

Nicole pointed to the rocking chairs and told them, "Sit. I will bring them to you."

Castle looked petrified, but he did as she said. After a few seconds, she brought Benjamin over to him and placed him in his father's arms. Castle looked down at him with awe. Now that he was cleaned up and little better, he looked just like him.

Castle watched as Nicole brought Caleb over to his sister. When Alexis leaned down and kissed her brother on the head, he felt tears threaten to spill over. Then Alexis whispered, "You are going to be a handful. You look just like dad when he was a baby."

"You think they look like me?"

Alexis nodded, "Grams has shown me your baby pictures. They look just like you. They are going to be twin terrors."

Castle smiled and when Benjamin started fussing, he looked like he was going to panic. Nurse Nicole saved the day and appeared with two bottles. She handed one to Alexis and the other to Castle, "You might have to coax them a bit, but they will catch on quick."

Castle sat there in the NICU with Alexis feeding his newborn sons. Wishing with all his heart that Kate was here to share this with him. He hoped against hope that she would make it through the surgery meant to save her life.

The doctors in the operating room were fighting to save Kate's life. They'd already lost her twice. Her blood pressure had dropped to dangerously low levels. So low, they wondered if her heart would keep beating. That's when the doctor had ordered more blood to be delivered to the operating room. He had never had to request so much before. He wondered if this would be the one patient he wouldn't be able to save.

Kate had never been one to believe in out of body experiences, but what happened to her while she was fighting for her life in the operating room couldn't be explained. She found herself in the loft. However, the person sitting at the breakfast bar could only be a figment of her imagination. It was her mother. Johanna Beckett smiled at her daughter and hugged her.

Kate shook her head, "This can't be real. I..."

"I'm as real as I ever could be. I have always lived on. Thanks to your memories. I will never die."

Kate wiped a tear away and asked, "What are you doing here? Why now?"

"I wanted to tell you something. And ask you something."

"What?"

"I want to tell you how proud I am of you Katie. You have made me proud to be your mother."

Kate could only wipe at the tears in her eyes. Then her mom continued, "You have a beautiful husband and a very handsome husband. And your sons are so beautiful Katie. You need to do me a favor."

"Anything mom."

"You need to stop looking into my murder. It's going to cost you everything. Your sons. Your husband and your life. Don't let my murder take everything away from you."

Kate felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. She shook her head, "I can't stop mom I don't want to let you down. I..."

Johanna reached out and took her daughter's hand and told her, "You could never let me down Katie. You have done so much with your life. I'm so proud of you. Proud to have you for a daughter. But don't let my death consume you. Live your life. You have so much to live for. Don't throw it all away trying to bring them to justice. Because then they will win and your life is worth more than that."

Kate hugged her mom and didn't want to let go. She wanted to stay here with her mom forever. She had missed her for so long. She whispered, "I want to stay here with you."

Johanna smiled at her only daughter and shook her head, "It's not your time yet sweetheart. You still have a full life to live. You have two newborn sons that need you. They are going to go on to do great things Katie. And that husband of yours. He loves you so much. So much more that you know Katie. It took you so long to find him. Let him make you happy. You deserve to be happy. But most of all don't be afraid to live life. Live it to the fullest. You have so much love to give Katie. Never forget that. So many people love you."

Kate was crying hard now. Hearing her mom say those words did wonders for her heart. Made her feel as if she had done some things right. She watched as her mom's image faded away and she wiped the tears away.

When she opened her eyes, she saw Castle sitting in the chair beside her. He looked terribly uncomfortable. She saw his hand holding hers and she squeezed it softly before she closed her eyes. She was extremely exhausted and simply wanted to sleep.

Castle jerked awake. He could have sworn that he felt her squeeze his hand, but when he looked down at Kate and saw that her eyes were still closed. Deciding that he'd imagined it, he stood up and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. She had wires attached to her everywhere. As he turned to leave, he heard her whisper, "Castle..."

He turned and saw her eyes open. He pushed the call button for the nurse. His heart started beating again and for the first time in days he felt like he could breathe again. The missing part of his heart had returned...


	31. Chapter 31

_**Thank you for all of the reviews. They are very much appreciated...**_

The first thing that Kate realized when she woke was that she felt like a truck had run over her. She moved her hand slowly to her stomach and her eyes popped open suddenly. She searched for her husband's eyes and asked, "Where are the babies? Are they okay?"

Before he could tell her about that their sons, the nurse came in and smiled at her brightly, "Look who's finally decided to join us again."

"What happened to my babies?"

The nurse simply smiled and told her, "The doctor will be in to talk to you soon. Just try to relax."

That didn't help Kate feel any better. In fact Castle could tell that she was getting more upset. So, he took her hand and whispered, "The babies are just fine."

"How long has it been?"

Castle told her softly, "It's been a week."

Kate looked at Castle sadly and then whispered, "I remember the first baby being born, but it's just blank after that." She looked over at her husband and saw the sadness in his eyes. She asked, "What's wrong? What aren't you telling me?"

Before Castle could say anything, Kate saw her doctor coming into the room. He smiled and told her, "Welcome back Katherine! How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Confused. What happened to me?" Castle and her doctor exchanged a look and Kate noticed it. She sighed and said, "Why won't anyone tell me what happened?"

Finally,her doctor said, "After you gave birth to your first son you started hemorrhaging. We rushed you into surgery and it was discovered that your placenta had grown through your uterus and had attached itself to your bladder. We delivered your second son and..."

"What aren't you telling me?"

She felt Castle squeeze her hand and the doctor continued, "The only way to save your life was to perform a complete hysterectomy. We had to have a Urologist come in to reconstruct your bladder. You are a lucky woman . You lost a tremendous amount of blood. We used nearly twenty gallons of blood to bring you back."

Kate closed her eyes and let Castle do that talking for them both. All she could think about was the fact that she wouldn't be able to have any more children. She didn't care about the surgery. Didn't care about how much blood she had lost. All she would think about was the fact that she would never be able to give Castle any more children. She closed her eyes and let her husband do the talking.

Castle looked at him, "How could she lose so much blood? I would think that she wouldn't be able to survive that."

"Normally bleeding like that would be fatal. We had some blood waiting for the surgery. However, you were bleeding so quickly that the blood couldn't clot fast enough. We got the bleeding restricted enough that we were finally able to complete the surgery. Then, you started bleeding again. It took us a long time to get it under control. We lost you twice. You are a very lucky woman Mrs. Castle."

All Kate could do was nod and say, "I'm tired. I need to sleep."

Her doctor smiled and told her, "That's understandable. We are going to be bringing your babies in to see you in a few minutes. We were just waiting for you to wake up. Do you think you're up to meeting them?"

Despite her mood, Kate was anxious to meet her children for the first time. She nodded softly, "Yes. Of course."

"Then I will tell your nurse to bring them up to you. Congratulations Mrs. Castle. I'm glad that you are back with us."

She could only nod at him. She turned away from her husband and stared at the wall. Castle finally got up and said, "I have a lot of calls to make. I need to call my mother and Alexis. And Lanie would have my head if I don't call her. Oh and your dad has been coming by every day to check on you."

Castle leaned down and kissed her deeply. He pulled away and whispered, "I love you. So very much."

Kate smiled, "I love you to."

Castle noticed a sadness in her eyes, but he was so happy to have her back that he didn't say anything about it. He hurried out of the room to make his phone calls.

Kate finally let the tears roll down her cheeks. She wiped at the tears angrily and took a deep breath. Family was everything to Castle. She knew that Castle loved children and was an excellent father. She wondered if he would love her any less because she wasn't able to give him any more children. Would he find another woman that could give him what he deserved? Would he look at her as less of a woman now that she couldn't give him more children? Would he be able to love her despite her loss? They'd married because of their babies. Would they be enough for him? Or would he want more?

A thousand questions went through her mind. She felt her depression growing stronger by the minute. She heard the door open and then heard a voice say, "Hi there mommy! Are you ready to meet your babies?"

Kate finally sat up and for the first time since she woke, there was smile on her face. She watched as the nurse pushed the bassinet closer to her. She looked down at her sons and her heart was overcome with incredible love and joy for these two tiny human beings. She finally whispered, "They are so tiny."

Her nurse smiled, "They are growing bigger every day. Benjamin has gained three ounces since he was born and Caleb has gained four."

Kate looked down at her tiny babies and swallowed hard. The love that she felt for these two beautiful babies that she had helped create was unlike anything she had ever felt before in her life. When the nurse placed Benjamin in her arms, she looked down at him and kissed him on the forehead. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. Then she marveled at how much he looked like Castle. Then she heard the nurse say, "They are truly identical twins."

Not taking her eyes off of her son, she said, "How do you know?"

"With twins of the same sex, we always perform a DNA test. Their DNA is identical. Would you like to try and breastfeed them?"

Kate looked at her nurse, "Can I? It's been a week and..."

Her nurse smiled, "It's definitely possible."

So, Kate lowered her gown and offered her left breast to her son. He latched on and after a few seconds she felt him start to nurse. She relaxed as she watched her tiny son feed at her breast.

Castle finished his phone calls and walked back into Kate's room. The sight that awaited him there took his breath away. He stood in the doorway watching Kate nurse one of their sons. It was amazing and it was something that he wondered if he would ever see. He had wondered if she would ever wake up. He saw Kate look up at him and she smiled.

He went to sit beside her and couldn't wipe the smile off of his face. He smiled and said, "We need to prepare for our visitors."

"Visitors?"

"Alexis will be here after her last class. Mother is coming over right away. As well as your father. Not to mention the boys will be here soon."

Kate smiled and turned her attention back to her nursing son. After a few more minutes, she felt him release her breast and she smiled when she noticed that he had fallen asleep. She watched as his tiny rosebud mouth moved while he slept. He was so beautiful. So perfect. She kissed him and went to burp him, but Castle stopped her and said, "Let me. Please?"

She smiled at him and handed Castle their son. The nurse handed Caleb to Kate. After a few more moments, both babies were fed and changed. They slept quietly in the bassinet. Kate couldn't stop looking at them. Then she whispered to Castle, "I can't believe that we made these little guys."

"I know. We did good. Didn't we?"

Kate nodded and smiled. Deciding to push her fears about Castle leaving her aside for the moment. She wanted to concentrate on getting stronger so that she could go home and be with her husband and sons...


	32. Chapter 32

_**Okay, I need to clarify something. Before I post something medical, I do a bit of research on the internet. As such, I found an article about a mom that survived placenta percreta and the used 35 gallons blood. They used 540 units of blood. I even checked with a friend that is a obstetric nurse and she said that it is possible to use that much blood. Trust me, I would post something like this without checking whether it's possible or not. It sounds like a lot, but it is possible.**_

Kate and the babies were released from the hospital three weeks after the twins were born. It had taken her nearly a week to gather up the strength to get out of bed. Taking the first few steps had been torture. She felt pain with every single step. She would have to stop and take a deep breath every so often. And all the while, Castle was there for her. Holding her hand. Encouraging her. Telling her that she could do it. Letting her know that he would catch her if she started to fall. He never let her fall though. Not once.

Driving up to the house that day felt strange to her. They had just moved in the day she went into labor, so she hadn't really gotten used to living here. She knew that it would come soon enough however.

Walking up to the driveway that day she saw that Castle kept looking over at her and she knew that something was up. He kept grinning at her and then he would look straight ahead. It was like he didn't want her to see that he was looking at her. She finally just smiled and asked, "What are you up to?"

He shook his head, "Nothing. I'm not up to anything. Why would you ask that?"

She laughed, "Because you keep looking at me and then you look away. What's going on?"

"Nope. Not going to tell. You will just have to wait and see."

She smiled and Castle leaned over to kiss her softly. Then he whispered, "I love you. So, so much."

"I know. I love you to."

Castle saw the small smile on her face, but her voice sounded distant and far away. She sounded so very sad. Heartbroken even. He wondered why she was upset. He was the happiest man in the world. He had a woman that loved him and two newborn sons. For him, life couldn't get any better than it was now.

Castle reached over and took her hand. He squeezed it softly and then gave it a kiss. She smiled at him, but he noticed a tear fall onto her lap. Noticed how the water spread out on the pants she was wearing and then it was soon joined by another one. He finally asked, "Are you okay?"

Kate couldn't speak. All she could do was nod. He didn't believe her, but he didn't want to upset her anymore than she already apparently was. He sighed and parked the car in the driveway. He walked to the backseat and grabbed the twins carseats. Kate walked in front of him and he smiled. She opened the door and turned on the light. That was when everyone called out, "Surprise!"

She saw a huge _**Welcome Home**_ sign hung in the living room. She stared at her friends. Shaking her head, she turned around and walked up the stairs to the bedroom. Leaving everyone in the room wondering what was wrong.

Castle left the twins carseats on the floor and hurried up the stairs. He found Kate in their bedroom. She was laying on the bed facing away from him. He walked to sit beside her and leaned down to kiss her neck. Then he whispered, "What's wrong?"

Kate shook her head, "Nothing."

"I know somethings wrong. You've been quiet all day."

"Just don't feel like talking."

Castle didn't believe her. Something was up with her. She hadn't been herself since the day the twins had been born. He'd felt her growing further and further away from him. He felt like he had before they'd gotten together. It felt like she was keeping him at arms length. Putting up walls between herself and the rest of the world.

Castle took a deep breath and said, "I know that there is something wrong."

She sighed heavily, "No. There isn't anything wrong with me!"

"That's a bunch of bull Katherine Castle and you know it! Why won't you talk to me?"

Kate sat up and looked at him. Then she said, "Because it's none of your damn business Richard Castle. And it's not Castle, it's Beckett!"

"What the hell is wrong Kate? You're acting like you hate me. You acting like you did when we first met. Like the sight of me makes you sick."

"Bingo! Give the man a prize! You finally got something right today!"

Castle thought back to the events of that day. He wondered what he had done to upset her. He hadn't said anything bad to her. He'd simply helped her into the car and drove home.

She marched out of their bedroom and made her way to the twins room. She noticed the decorations and on any other day she would have been excited. Today however, all she could feel was sadness. Now that she was home, Castle would realize that she was less of a woman because she wouldn't be able to have more children. He would be very sweet about it, but she could see the writing on the wall. So, she decided that by distancing herself from him, it would save her from the heartbreak that was sure to follow. She only hoped that he wouldn't take the twins away from her. Losing Castle and the twins would be her ultimate undoing.

She knew that Castle had followed her. She could sense him behind her. This man had been part of her life for so long. She couldn't imagine her life without him. That's what made this so much harder for her. She felt his hand on her shoulder and she closed her eyes, "Why won't you leave me alone Castle?"

"Because I love you and want to know what's wrong."

She swallowed hard, "I don't want you here. I want you to leave me alone." Then she said the five hardest words she'd ever spoken, "I don't love you anymore."

She swore that she heard him gasp. That she could hear him swallow. She wondered if her heart could break any more than it was at that moment. She felt his hand move from her shoulder and for a brief second, she thought that she was getting her wish. That he was leaving her alone. Alone with her thoughts and her loneliness. However, what he did next surprised her.

She watched as he knelt in front of her and wrapped his hands around her waist. Then he pushed her chin up so that he could look her in the eyes. He finally whispered, "I know that isn't true."

"It is true. I don't love you...I hate you...I..."

He shook his head, "No you don't. I know that you are upset about something and I want to know what it is."

"Why won't you leave me alone? I just want to be left alone..."

Any other time Castle would have listened to her. However, this was the one time that he couldn't. He shook his head, "I can't do that Kate. Not until I know what's wrong."

Kate could only look away from him. She stared off into space and refused to look at him. She pushed him away from her and stood up and walked over to the window. She couldn't look at him when she said, "I love you."

"Why do I hear a but in there."

"I want you to find someone else."

Castle was stunned and said, "What?! Why?! What's did I do wrong? I..."

"You didn't do anything wrong. It's me. I'm defective. I..."

Castle shook his head and wondered what was going on. Maybe he was dreaming. Maybe that was what was going on here. He pinched himself and it hurt. Okay, so he wasn't dreaming. He finally told her, "What do you mean you're defective? Why would you think that?"

Kate put her hands on her stomach and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and whispered, "I know how important family is to you. How you've always wanted a big family."

"And?"

"And I can't give you any more children."

Castle was stunned. Was this what this was all about? The fact that she couldn't have more children. It didn't matter to him. He already had three beautiful children. Sure, he would love to have a houseful of children, but it didn't matter to him. He loved her and that was all that mattered to him. He took her in his arms and hugged her tight. She tried to get away, but he wouldn't let her. He held her until she stopped struggling. He held her and whispered, "I love you Kate Castle. We already have three beautiful children and to me that is perfect."

He felt her hiccup and she shook her head, "You're just saying that to make me feel better. Then you are going to leave me..."

He shook his head, "No. I'm never ever going to leave you. It took me five years to wear you down. Five years of loving you. Five years of wanting you so much that it hurt. Do you really think that I'm going to throw everything away?"

"Men have left me for far less."

"I'm not just a man. I'm your husband. I'm the man that loves you more than life itself."

Kate turned around in his arms. She put her arms around him and she hung on for dear life. She sobbed into his chest, "I have been waiting for you to tell me you are leaving me. That you want more than I can off you now."

He shook his head and kissed her on the top of her head. Then he whispered, "I can promise you that won't ever happen. You are stuck with me for the rest of your life."

"Promise?"

"Yes. That's one promise I won't have any trouble keeping."

He leaned down and kissed her softly and then whispered against her lips, "We should probably go downstairs and say hello to everyone."

Kate thought back to how she acted when she saw everyone in her house. She felt embarrassed now, "I can't face them. I..."

That was when she heard Alexis say, "Everything's fine mom. In fact, once you left everyone took turns with the twins." Seeing the looks on Castle's face, she said, "Don't worry, I made them use the hand sanitizer first."

"Good."

"But they are asking about you two. Is everything okay?"

Castle and Kate nodded. Then Kate said, "Lets go downstairs."

Castle took her hand and they walked downstairs together. Castle knew that he would spend the rest of his life with her. And he would do everything he could to make her feel the love he felt for her.

Kate smiled at her friends and when she saw how happy Castle was, she knew that her fears had been unfounded. She knew that he loved her and for now, that was all that mattered to her...


	33. Chapter 33

_**Okay, so this story is going to be coming to an end soon. Maybe one or two more chapters.**_

_**I will be working on a new story after this. I have all kinds of ideas, but I want to finish this one first.**_

Kate sat down on the couch and watched as her family and friends made a fuss over the twins. She saw the pride on Castle's face. She laughed when Lanie handed Benjamin over to Esposito. The detective could take down the toughest criminals, but he looked terrified. His eyes were wide and he said, "I'm going to break him."

Lanie laughed, "You aren't going to break him. Babies are a lot tougher than you think."

"You better take him. I..."

It was at that moment that the tiny baby opened his mouth and yawned. She watched as Esposito got a look of wonder on his face. It was then that Lanie went to take him from her boyfriend. Esposito shook his head and said, "It's okay. I got this."

That's when Kate knew that her son had this big man hooked around his little finger. He must have felt Kate staring at him, because he looked her in the eyes and smiled. Kate gave him a thumbs up and he smiled again. Then he went and sat down on their couch.

It was then that Kate noticed someone she didn't recognize. He was sitting near Alexis, holding her hand and looking at her with such love in his eyes. Kate smiled and then pulled Castle into the kitchen. She asked, "Who's that young man with Alexis?"

Castle smiled, "Apparently he's one of our neighbors. His name is Kurt. She was moving some of her stuff in and he offered to help. She offered him a cup of coffee and he refused. Instead insisting that she let him take her out to dinner. I think she's in love."

Kate couldn't disagree. She had seen the way that they had looked at each other. He was how she still looked at Castle. Even after all this time, she still love him with all her heart and soul. She would give up her life for him. He was her future and her past. He was her everything. The man that she loved and the father of her children. Surrounded by her family and friends, she doubted that her life could ever be more perfect than it was at that moment...

_**Three Years Later**_

Walking into the house, Kate heard the unmistakable sound of her sons laughter. Before she realized what was happening, she saw her twin sons running through the living room. They were completely naked. She couldn't help the laughter that bubbled out of her throat when she saw Castle running after them. He was wearing his Curious George boxers.

He ran past her and said, "Don't even ask..."

She laughed, "I won't. Are you almost ready? We have to be at the graduation ceremony in, " She looked at her watch, "Less than an hour."

Castle sighed heavily and said, "Just trying to get these two dressed."

Shaking her head and laughing, she decided to take pity on her husband and run interference for him. She scooped up Caleb and blew raspberries on his stomach. He broke out into a fit of laughter, "No mommy. Daddy want dress us."

She heard Benjamin say, "No get dress..."

Kate smiled and put her son down and threw her hands up in the air. She smiled and said, "Okay boys. You don't have to get dressed."

Both boys cheered loudly, "Yay! No dress!"

Kate smiled, "Daddy and I will just leave you with Uncle Espo while we go to Alexis' graduation."

Benjamin and Caleb both looked at the mom with twin looks of horror on their faces. Even though they loved their Uncle Espo, they loved Alexis more. The thought of missing out on seeing her wasn't something that they were willing to risk. Kate had her cell phone on her hand and started talking, "Hi Espo. Are you busy tonight? No? Well do you think you can come and watch the boys?"

Kate smiled when she heard, "No mommy! We will get dress! We wanna see Lexi!"

She watched as both boys hurried upstairs and she put her cell phone back in her pocket. She wasn't the best Detective on the force for nothing.

Castle smiled and stopped to kiss his wife softly before heading upstairs to dress their sons. He whispered, "I love you."

"Love you to, but you need to get dressed."

He waved his hand at her and headed upstairs, "You are very bossy. Do you know that?"

Kate nodded and smiled, "That's what you love about me."

Castle turned, looked at her and whispered, "Always."

Her men finally got back downstairs and she asked, "Are my little men ready?"

Benjamin and Caleb were dressed in matching clothes. They were just as handsome as their father. Castle turned to her and asked, "Have you talked to my mother?"

Kate nodded, "She's going to meet us there. So are Kurt, Lanie, Espo, Ryan and Jenny."

Castle was surprised and asked, "Are you sure Lanie is going to be up to it? I mean she is almost nine months pregnant."

"I tried telling her that she and Espo didn't have to come, but she was adamant. She said and I quote, There's no way I'm missing Alexis graduate."

Castle laughed, "That's so typically Lanie."

Kate smiled and thought back to the day that Lanie and Esposito had announced that they were getting married. It was also the same day that they had told everyone that they were having a baby. It had been unexpected. Kate was more surprised about the baby than she was about the marriage. Truthfully, she had always known that her friends would admit their feelings for one another. No, the willingness to have children had always stood between them like an invisible wall. Lanie wanted kids and Esposito as afraid of children. Terrified even. When Kate asked him what had changed, she was surprised when he said, "It happened the day that I held Ben. The minute I held him, something changed. It was almost as if I could see myself holding my own children. That little guy made me realize what I had been missing out on all along. Simply because I was afraid."

Kate had smiled at her friend and nodded, "Not quite so scary anymore. Huh?"

"Don't get me wrong. I'm still terrified that I'll make all kinds of mistakes. I mean, I've been a Detective, but being a husband and father scares me to death." Then he smiled, "But I wouldn't want to miss out on it. Especially after seeing you and Castle with your sons. The way I figure it, is that if you can do it, so can I."

Kate had laughed and then she hugged him tightly. She knew that he would make a wonderful father. He just needed a little practice.

When they arrived at the auditorium where Alexis' college graduation was being held, Castle and Kate hurried over to where his mother and Kurt were sitting with their friends. She smiled when she saw her daughter's boyfriend. They had been dating for three years and were getting more serious every day. Kurt was at every family gathering and Kate had a feeling that it was only a matter of time before they made their relationship more permanent.

After settling in their seats, they waited for the ceremony to begin. The twins sat between their Grandmother and Lanie. Actually, Caleb sat there. Benjamin had found his Uncle Espo's lap more comfortable and Kate couldn't help but smile. He was so whipped and she knew that he loved every single second of it.

The only dark spot on their day was that Kate's father couldn't be there. He had passed away three months ago. Kate had been so very thankful for Castle. He had stood beside her and he never let her fall. She still missed him, but thanks to her family, she was able to go on.

They watched as the graduates received their diplomas and they cheered when Alexis walked across the stage. She had no sooner received her diploma when Kate felt Lanie stiffen. Kate looked at her best friend and asked, "Are you okay?"

Lanie shook her head, "No. I think I'm in labor."

"What?"

"I've been having back pains all morning and..."

"And you didn't think to tell anyone."

"I didn't want to miss her big day. I..."

Kate shook her head and told Castle, "We need to go. Can you take the boys?"

Castle looked at her and then at Lanie. He could see the panic on her face. So, he nodded and told her, "Go ahead. We will be fine."

Lanie poked her husband and he handed Benjamin over to his father. Castle had to give his friend credit. He didn't look very panicked. At least not yet. Castle knew that as the day went on that would probably change. He smiled at his friends as they left. Kate looked at her husband and kissed him, "I'll call you."

He nodded and told her, "Don't worry. Alexis will understand."

"I hope so."

She smiled and they hurried out of the auditorium. Aware of the eyes that were on them. Kate smiled and realized that this was typical for their little family. It was then that Kate realized that she wouldn't have it any other way. They might not be related by blood, but they were family just the same. Sometimes, those are the best kinds of families. The ones you make through experiences and shared feelings. She couldn't love them any more than if they were related by blood and that was what made them special. Kate realized that she wouldn't change a thing. Her family meant everything to her and she wouldn't trade it for anything. They might be unconventional, but they made it work somehow. No, they didn't make sense on paper, but they made prefect sense in every other way that matter. In the matters of the heart they were absolutely perfect...


	34. Chapter 34

_**Okay, I realized that I never posted this chapter. Sorry...**_

After the graduation ceremony, Alexis came to find her family. Castle saw the crestfallen look on her face when she didn't see Kate. She looked at her father and asked, "Where's Kate?"

Castle smiled, "Lanie went into labor."

When she heard that, Alexis smiled, "Really? That's great! Do you think we can go to the hospital?"

"Kate promised that she would call after the baby was born."

Castle could tell that Alexis was excited. He also knew that she wanted to go to the hospital to be with their friend. He finally told her, "We need to wait. Remember what Lanie told us."

Alexis smiled, "Yeah. She doesn't want us to see her while she's in labor. In fact she doesn't want to see any of us until the baby has been born and she's all prettied up."

Castle nodded, "And you better believe that she would kill us if we show up there before she's ready for us."

Alexis knew that her dad was telling the truth. She'd worked with Lanie long enough to know that the feisty medical examiner would kill all of them if they went against her wishes. So, she asked her father, "Can we go out for dinner?"

Castle smiled at her and threw his arm around her shoulders and asked, "Italian?"

Alexis beamed up at her dad, "Only if I can have spaghetti and meatballs."

At the mention of spaghetti and meatballs, the boys cheered and said, "Yay! Sghetti..."

"I think you have yourself a couple of dates for your meal."

Alexis went over to her brothers and took them by the hand. She swung her hand and Castle swore that he had never seen a better sight in his life.

They had eaten then Castle drove home and got the boys into bed. It was well after midnight before Kate crawled into bed. She was very quiet, but he swore that he could hear her thinking. He pulled her close and asked, "How's Lanie?"

He felt her nod and then she whispered, "She's doing great. She had a baby girl. They named her Mariah Katherine."

Castle could hear the sadness in her voice. He kissed her on the neck and whispered, "They named her after you."

Kate nodded, "Yeah."

"You're feeling sad."

Nodding, Kate sighed loudly, "I should be happy for them. She's a beautiful baby. She's perfect."

"But you want another baby."

"And it's impossible. I'm jealous of my best friend. I'm such a terrible person."

Castle laughed, "You aren't terrible. You're being perfectly normal."

"I told them that I would babysit anytime they needed me."

"Was her labor bad?"

Kate laughed and shook her head, "No. It was, to use Lanie's words, perfect. You should have seen Javi. The look on his face when he held his daughter for the first time was priceless. She's not even a day old and she already has her daddy wrapped around her finger."

Castle laughed, "Sounds familiar. I was like that when Alexis was born. It was the same way when the twins were born."

"And I missed it..."

Castle kissed the top of her head and whispered, "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't help it."

"I know. I just wish..."

"What?"

"On days like today. I just wish I could have more children. It passes after awhile, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have a little girl. And then I think about those amazing little boys that we created together and I feel awful for wanting more."

Castle smiled, but said nothing. She'd been the same way when Lanie had told them that she was pregnant. She had been happy for her friend, but later that night, it hit her. Hard. She had cried herself to sleep that night. Castle had held her the entire time. Castle knew that she regretted not being able to have more children and most times she was able to push it out of her mind. There were times when life made it impossible to do that. Times like today.

When Jenny had given birth to their daughter a mere two months after the twins were born, it had been another hard day for her. Deep down, she knew it was crazy. She had two beautiful sons and she was extremely grateful for them. After the first few months, she had loved being pregnant. Had loved feeling her sons move inside her. She loved how Castle would spend hours talking to her stomach. She had never felt closer to him.

She finally whispered, "I'm being silly. I know. I'm happy for them. Really happy. And guess what?"

Castle laughed, "What?"

"Lanie is already talking about having another baby."

"Really?"

Kate nodded then laughed, "Yes. She said it wasn't as bad as she was expecting. Javi got a panicked look on his face when she said that. It was priceless. I wish I would have had a camera to take a picture."

Castle smiled at his wife and said, "Feeling better?"

"A little." Looking into her husband's eyes, she whispered, "Make love to me Rick."

"Always."

When Kate woke that morning, she smiled as the three men in her life walked into the bedroom. Castle was carrying the breakfast tray and the boys had napkins and the newspaper. She smiled as they climbed into bed and snuggled up on each side of her. Caleb handed her the newspaper and Benjamin put the napkins around her neck. She smiled and gave each of her sons a kiss.

She looked at the boys and asked, "What's the special occasion?"

Caleb smiled and told her, "They are daddy's s-specal cheering up pancakes. We helped him make them."

"You did?"

Benjamin, the quieter of the boys just nodded slowly. Then he asked, "Did it work mommy?"

She felt her eyes fill with tears and heard Caleb tell his brother, "I don't think so. She's crying..."

Kate shook her head, "I'm crying because I'm happy."

Castle could see the confusion on his sons faces and smiled, "It's a girl thing."

Caleb whispered not so quietly, "Girls are silly. Aren't the daddy?"

Castle laughed and nodded, "They sure are boys. Now, how about if we let mommy eat and we go eat our breakfast?"

The boys both cheered loudly, "Yay!"

Kate looked up at her husband and smiled. Her life was perfect and she knew in that moment that she had everything she needed. As she watched Castle walk out of their bedroom, she knew that she had found the love she truly needed and even if she could have changed it, she wouldn't have. She would trade a single moment with her guys for anything in the world. She'd come to realize that life was too precious to waste. She needed to live every single second and enjoy it. No matter what might happen in the future. She had the love of a great man, two wonderful little boys and an almost grown daughter. And nothing, at least in her opinion, could be better...


End file.
